Whats Wrong With Me

I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO BREAK DOWN WITHOUT EVEN A WORD OR SOUND THIS LIFE I LIVE THE TEARS IN WHICH I DROWN IN THE PAST IT IS TEARING ME DOWN, AND STILL IN 2011 IT IS TEARING ME DOWN I FEEL SO WORTHLESS, I FEEL PAIN AND SAD I CAUSED ALL THIS SADNESS, BECAUSE I MADE PEOPLE MAD AT TIMES IM ALWAYS A LOSER AND KEEP GETTING USED WHENEVER I GAIN NEW FRIENDS OR HELP THE ONES I CARE 4 I GET SCREWED. AT TIMES FEAR IS SINKING IN AND WHEN IM ALONE I FEEL HEAVY RAIN AND COLD MIST RACING THROUGH MY SKIN WHATS WORSE MEMORIES ARE MISSING AND MOST OF THEM ARE FADING SOMEHOW IT MY FAULT BECAUSE I DONT LOVE MYSELF AND I AGREE IT IS BECAUSE IN REALITY I HATE MYSELF SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN TO ME AND MOST ARE TO PAINFUL TO EXPLAIN AND IT KEEPS COMING LIKE A GIANT CLOTHES STAIN. WHY DO I FEEL SO HAPPY, CHEERY, AND HYPE UP MOOD WHEN I GO OUT BUT WHEN I GO HOME I FEEL SO MESS UP AND I CANT EVEN SHOUT I CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM IT LIKE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO I AM AM I A WINNER OR A LOSER, A PERSON OR A SHADOW, OR AM I REAL OR A SHAM SOMETIMES I CAN NEVER HAVE PEACE WHENEVER I WANT IT SO BADLY IT SLIPPED AWAY LIKE GREASE IT TRUE I HAVE FRIENDS BUT AT TIMES IDK WHO TO TRUST ANYMORE BECAUSE WHENEVER I CARE 4 SOMEONE IT BACKSTAB ME RIGHT TO THE CORE AT TIMES I AM A VILLIAN AND AT TIMES IM A HERO AND MOST OF TIME IDK WHAT I AM SO MOST LIKELY IM A ZERO WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY HEAD YOU SAY WHO KNOWS EVEN I DONT KNOW BUT IT SAD BECAUSE MY LIFE IS A BORING SHOW. IN THE END IT KINDA FUNNY CAUSE I FEEL LIKE I DONT HAVE A HEART OH WELL MY HEART IS ALREADY BROKEN SO IT TO LATE IT GOT KILLED BY A SHARD.