Long Frig Poems

My transportive 
awesome Muse
speaks of a hiking trail
for an aging snail.

My communicative
wondrous music
is dancing choreography
for an ageless bee
coming.


I ask if I might speak
with the Editor in Chief
of my town's daily GoodNews Bulletin...

No.
I do not have...

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Rewind
By Julia Shaw

At seventy-two my life has been so very fine,
That I'd like to push a button and just rewind.
I'd go back to my wedding day so exciting
And marry again the man I found so...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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"No Money Found"

I woke to feeling ill so I called out sick
The frig was bare with nothing but a fish stick
Looking to my purse for cash
I knew I had no stash
To the bank I go...

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Good morning Steph, today's the twentieth.
It's Syd's birthday and I've been thinking of you.
I bought her a cake yesterday, chocolate and vanilla swirled.
I thought of calling your mom,
but she always disappears this time of year.
She...

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Cheese curds make my day.

My wife has a daily habit
Of caring for all my needs.
She keeps her eyes wide open
To see what she can see.

This week was no exception
As she neared the dairy case.
Greeted by...

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COOKING WITH JIM                      

actually, with him in spirit, in the kitchen 
of his quaint...

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What does this wintry holiday truly mean, called Christmas?
Is it the cost of a present, or if you get what is on your long
Extended wish list.
No, my friend it means so much more, spiritually, emotionally,
Loves...

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Hi Skool Massakre
Goth boy dressed all in black. 
With a moody stare. 
Not giving a frig. 
As long as his subgun is loaded. 

Safety off. 

Both his and his gun's. 
Hear his New Rock boots...

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The Chosen
in a little while
then I shall be no more
with each tender mire
leaves across the floor,

leaves out on the parlor
coffee in the frig
a box filled with chocolates
a note telling you how to live

the willingness to...

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In New York, someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds
Poor bastard... must have bled quite a lot
Guess what animal can jump higher than a house
All animals, houses can't jump, you forgot?

How Long is a Chinese name,...

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There are red and green snitchies in my fingers,
They rapidly chase me down my wooden hall.
Delightedly twirl me I into a mass with their zingers,
Eleven can quickly roll me into a giant ball.

An enormous blue...

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Well I could write endlessly about Frankie my cute English bulldog,
But when it comes to being a good watchdog, she’s closer to a log.
I do however have a pet that notifies us if someone is...

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Now you may think that these things cannot be true,
But following extensive research, something that I do,
I can completely reassure you, these annoyances are fact,
So please forgive me, if I appear to be a little...

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Full title:
LIFELONG, MEANINGLESS MUSINGS MEAN EVERYTHING OF NO VALUE
aka
OFF THE WALL RAMBLINGS


After upscale meals, I know no relief
until I somehow pick my un-fancy teeth.
Serve me good food in my own home
and these same teeth leave...

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Now I'm not the kind of guy
used to luxury or wealth
fancy "cribs" as they now
call them (ain't that ridiculous?)
the only luxury I've tasted
is on TV with Robin Bleach...
or in brief stays on vacation
where I liveed...

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I was dancing and prancing 
And singing whooped Dee Dee
Not realizing I was not alone
Until he opened his shirt to me

He threw out the mayo, some jam and some jelly, a real hoot.
I caught the...

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Bombing Indonesia
So they broke the law and smuggled drugs etc. How about we drop some 1000lb bombs on Jakarta and nuke each individual Indonesian air force, navy and army base? FOR A BIT OF FRIGGING...

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Craziest Time at the Time of Spilled Soup

I spilled a bowl of vegetable soup – 
 Slipped on the shiny waxed floor;
The scene I saw made my muse utter expletives – 
 Fainting in horror...

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I am fire and rhapsody in my private chambers.
Inside out, I am flourishing, animated, and measured.
My heart pumps owning the same conviction at age 15.
My hormonal sexual splendor surely must be the same 
dense river...

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("Winter Tree", 2023, original encaustic)

Celebrating White Supremacy

As the world turns….
ever faster and more wobblier
it’s hard to go a day 
without hearing some reference to ‘White Supremacy.’
Of course it’s a bad thing, right?
Sure it is, until...

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He was
 sick of her.
He was 
bored 
and 
restless.
The tramps 
at work
stimulated 
his thirst
for new
 conquests.
He thought 
to himself:
This diabetic 
is taking up 
so much of 
my time.
I'm sick of 
her whining.
And the needles 
she's...

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His clothing is mottled,
His beard speckled grey
and he takes up his post 
by the road every day.

But he knows he’s depressed; he is always depressed,
And his sadness ferments like old wine, and the best
He can...

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While my Aunt Rusha and momma chatted
     on the front porch swing that afternoon
     I slipped into Auntie’s kitchen 
     to bake a...

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I have come to take the cure, I said.
I heard it is easy, and practically painless.
The ultimate forever end-of-the-end-cure? She asked.
I nodded my head. Yes!

And how will you be paying?
I am delighted! This is the...

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