Long Flirty Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms where
the businessmen paste on their hair
and, Walter Mitties, woo the...

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It's You, Not Me 

*this poem can be offensive and has naughty words*

It's all my fault
I put a gentle halt
I'm cold in my skin
You are warm with anger, disappointment and sadness from deep within

It's me,...

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My receptive wide adoring eyes rested within the ambient light and bathed in The Shadoe and shade of the scene
Where before me a paragon of sublime refined  beauty 
So sensually seductively and arousingly delightful...

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I don’t remember my first introduction to the idea of same sex couples. I don’t remember the first time I was told it was a “bad” thing.
All I remember is how it felt each time...

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I have a way with words
They may hurt with a sting or they may be badly injuring…this time forth and forevermore…
My mind wanders in a hundred herds 
I’m too late…I’m too lost…I’m running outta time…Kingdom...

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So take your rose colored glasses off
And see this battle for the withered tulip it really is
There is no leaving this town,
It's got the best heights to fall from 
And the best milestones to lose...

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Aw, you're cute
Aw, was that your face?
I think I smacked your face
And gave you a bruise 
But that's old ass news

I know that I am silly Billy
I love dandelions honestly
Aw, they are so adorable
The birds...

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I wait—

here I wait
for white magic reverie
to embrace me   free me

here I wait—
an hourglass full
of leopard-print thoughts 
sugar-granular-musings spill
the beginning to the end of a story
the potential   the inevitable
life finite ...

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The Bachelor Spectacular
by Michael R. Burch

One heart? Tossed aside.
The other? A bride’s.
In all his great wisdom, the bachelor decides.

Eeenie, mean-ie, mine-y, mo’,
one gal must stay and one must go.
If she hollers? That’s the show!

No heart...

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Wonderworks
by Michael R. Burch

History’s
mysteries
abound
& astound,
found
(profound)
the whole earth ’round,
even if mostly
underground.


The Procrastinator’s Creed
by Michael R. Burch

It’s always, “Tomorrow, I’ll do it.”
Work? I eschew it.
I never collect money I’ve loaned
and the rest of this poem’s been postponed.


WHEN...

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Erotic Poems I

Less Heroic Couplets: Marketing 101
by Michael R. Burch

Building her brand, she disrobes,
naked, except for her earlobes.


Erotic Errata
by Michael R. Burch

I didn’t mean to love you; if I did,
it came unbid-
en, and should’ve remained...

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- - - An observation of true events - - - 
  - - (insatiable person's search) - - 

Aiming to embellish my identity 
Rural persona branches further 
Tight city existence not meant for...

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These are poems about animals by Michael R. Burch

Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
“When again, gentle bride?”
“Nevermore!” bright-eyed Raven replied.



The...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where I’m sore and hurty.

The moral of my story?
To avoid a...

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This the story of Gustybot Melly
His really small nose and his very large belly
He'd finished the biscuits, the cake and the jelly
And munched all the crisps like the ones on the telly

And when he was...

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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes whores seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause...

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Elderly Driver On The Highway

This is something to raise a laugh and  a guffaw or two…
I’m pretty sure all readers here will agree with me too…

A  patrolman was holding watch over the heavy...

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Our mother was the prettiest mom in the room. Creative, multi-talented, always doing much more than what was average. We never had a store bought dress and ours were gorgeous with ribbons, lace, and rickrack....

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I make love to the pad so call this sex poetry 
I'll explain why I'm better off alone and why you shouldn't try to get close to me
Depression took advantage of me when I was...

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I read with sadness an article in one of the social media platforms. Where a Young Nigerian Celebrity stated clearly that she just want to have kids without getting married to a man responsible. She...

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You wrap yourself 
in the feather boa fantasy of his dreams
sinuous you; X-rated and never sated
dancing to rock ‘n roll— 80’s dated

welcome to the conjugal jungle 
of not-so-rusted lust
sixty-something-shapely
your 25th anniversary groom
growls a naughty thought
“you...

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A LETTER TO MY EX

You left and I wrote words.
I abused the pen as I tried to express my thoughts using ink.
I was left alone, sad and broken.
I was left with so many feelings unfelt
And...

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The air stale, thick and cloudy with years of gin soaked carpet odor and cigarette vapor of  inconsiderate drag and chain smokers.
The colors smear together and the music disconnected and hypnotic.
The smell of flat...

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