Through the Ears of an Eye Witness
So take your rose colored glasses off
And see this battle for the withered tulip it really is
There is no leaving this town,
It's got the best heights to fall from
And the best milestones to lose sight of
Where limits are as high as the sky
But just as ever-changing
And the angels are ever-dangling
From the chains soldered together by a force I call imposed dead weight
As they pray for my intelligence to infiltrate
But this is not about my mental escape!
Remember, I already over-contemplated it
And realized it wasn't as important as mending fences with you
Restrictions bore me
And It's such an anomaly that I’m still standing here,
With a cunning smile and a barrel loaded with confidence
Despite every shot I took at the target and missed
And playing hard to get used to galvanize me
But now it just underwhelms me
And it’s such an anomaly
that the justification I forced down my throat
Did not infiltrate
But you're the devil's advocate with fire in your eyes to this debate
It's not life or death if living on is just as much of a scar
And i've already gotten this far into the void
Escaping existentialism
With a lantern in hand and a dissipation of your static
to ground myself with
But let's reconvene after the sedation wears off
It makes everything too fuzzy and maybe that's why I couldn't see the logic in your argument
But let's reconvene after the high from you wears off
It makes everything too dizzy and maybe that's why I couldn't see the love in your argument
Your body language is molded out of secret code
Every movement makes the air feel cryptic
and I'm betting that you heard the shift in tone from my hello to my goodbye
But it's hard to shed a tear
When you're leaving in steps, leaking fear
I’ve f-ed around with safety but restrictions bore me
It's hard to shed a tear
when your body is an hourglass,
but the hand that does the flipping
is a physiological extension of a shared enemy named fear
An eye witness but the shock won’t let him hear
An orchestra conductor, but every graze of hair to string just sounds like mental wounds beginning to adhere
But your symphony just sounds like animals dying
Cause my ears are tuned to hear a note off key when you prevaricate
The bags under your eyes remind me of the circles lining tree trunks,
Each one marks another year of suffering senses and another candle on the cake
What scares me is when only a month passes
And it genuinely feels like a year
But It's hard to shed a tear
when you're retreating and isolating
In a room lit by a dying flashlight,
That I call false hope
You're a hand built submarine with duct tape on all the bullet holes
You're a glass vase in the middle of a storm;
Struggling to keep balance
With a knack for bad timing
And I know now that I was never an exception
Everything including me was just bad timing
But it's an anomaly I'm here
Sedation free with an inner monologue that's a hundred times nicer to me
I'm not shaking cause I'm cold,
I'm shaking out of need for relief
With this ball and chain, I’ve been flirty but restrictions bore me
Did you really think I'd tether myself to you even now?
How ironic of you to be a god in such disbelief
Copyright © Matthew Bailey | Year Posted 2024
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