Long Fecal Poems

“ANTE BELLUM”


BEIGEBest served where it can’t be seen
On Stirling Silver platters
With redruM narcotics
Delivered by sharp Blood-Red
Well-mannered talons
Strutting in sleek wet rolling tight-skirted
Long French Silk Stockinged legs all the way down to 
Lethal Six Inch stilettos...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to overflow onto the floor,
and hence found yours truly (me)
immersing himself...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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Fretfully aching to feel fit as a fiddle

After experiencing a severe,
albeit violent near lethal bout
of irritable bowel syndrome
(yesterday night August 30th, 2023)
triggered courtesy dulcolax caplets plus 
healthy portion of lentils,
I (a beatle browed, foo fighting,...

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It might become too ironically
and iconically embareassing
to admit
I am taking a (s)hit
while exploring
my latest
and perhaps final 
nutritional surmise
compressing peak climax 
surprise

A well-capitalized
Systematic Theology
of EcoLogical Systems
is not such 
an inviting much
of a moving title

Yet herein
we might...

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100% Natural psyllium husk delivered solid ecstasy

As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid...

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Cockroaches are generalized insects with few special adaptations. Most are the size of a thumbnail, but they can be as big as 3.8 inches and weigh 30 grams. Their largest wingspan is 7.3 in. They are...

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Plagued with lifelong lower gastrointestinal Sturm und Drang

Ever since a young lad
irritable bowel syndrome
in my humble pinion wracked
lower abdominal area 
gurgled and ballooned gastrointestinal tract
(similar to following Colonoscopy preparation
slated for January 24th, 2024
at Phoenixville Hospital)
posterior...

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Stimulus check(up), visited mine local gastro-intestinal economy

Around high noon
today March 19th, 2021
fecal impaction I did plaintively croon
until effect courtesy amitiza, which
prescription medication
(in short a laxative)
served as amazing grace saving boon.

Once activated - impossible mission
to suppress...

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Human Sack Gruff Ice Agonizingly Glommed...
Murderously Skewered, And Torturously Zapped

Directv linkedin to accentuate
piddly money crisis, tis zen uneasy fate,
I imagine dragons gyrate
ting, and licking chops, faux masticate
ting, no matter I didst pre
   ...

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Sung to, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, (extended version).
KP

You’re a monster, Donny Dump.
Some biiig-time twiiisted clooown.
To no end, I could deride you,
are no depths you didn’t fall to,
no ineptness could elude you,
the bottom-feeders they...

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Room full of people, how could I be lonely?
These days it's harder than ever to find a true homie
I'm trying to keep a grip but I'm losing it slowly

Filling our voids with mediums of instant...

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"Will there be a need for a throne;
To sit on
In heaven
Fecal matter will it matter
Will we eat and consume manna foods
And do angels discharge sweat and waste
Oh! Are there need for thrones in heaven?
lavatory
bathroom
facilities
urinal
privy
latrine
outhouse
WC
water closet
public...

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11. They came to devour and sin.
I was briefed by a cornucopia of beings:
From Torchwood, ARGUS, SHIELD and their kin;
The Talamasca, The Shop and MiB Greens;
A BPRD agent who was burning in Hell;
The Syndicate, Consortium,...

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...inspired by and in dedication to ~  Victor Buhagiar, Robert Lindley (my mentors) and the rest of the PoetrySoup Family...thank you for your kindness and support...

A Tribute To Edgar Allan Poe... by ^WW^ Winged...

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We may not agree with you, but we love you.
We may not condone your choices, but we accept you as made in God's image.
We are not afraid of you, but we believe God wants a...

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AND WE ARE STILL HERE…
While beating our drums—singing, dancing
and giving praises to the Most High
for family harvest, peace and love,
we blinked—became victims
of colonial rape—stolen from the womb
of our Motherland; snatched like babes
from their mother’s uterus;...

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OMG this is what I think as I am reading? 
thus pus poems and yes they stink
simple in word mire contrivances with 
rancid rhyme scheme redundants that
exude explanatory expectorants spouting 
word wormy willy wally whilst...

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Mother of Cowards
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

So unlike the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land,
Spread-eagled, showering gold, a strumpet stands:
A much-used trollop with a torch, whose...

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Alpha Bet Cap Cha

Just twenty six letters of the english language to whit
twisted in various & sundry combinations pit
this bull dog of a canonical wordsmith with true grit
to craft bone a fide filigreed grammatical parts...

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Defecation clogged toilet bowl...
courtesy prescription laxative AMITIZA

and found (me) zee papa pooped out,
thus embarrassing communiqué I post,
a reasonably rhyming poetic shout
to air grievances
concerning outsize bowel movement
hoping (fat/slim chance)
Mike Rowe happens tubby about,
though shadow of doubt
he...

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And thus began their heroic journey through the fantastical labyrinth of the escape room, where every twist and turn carried the promise of freedom, laughter, and the unforeseen—the perfect remedy for chaos and an unexpected...

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It has become painfully obvious that the only way to be heard
is to pay through the nose to be a lifetime nerd,
the way to be read in on this sight 
is to pay through the...

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I believe that poetry is and of is was were have has been of as one pretenses a 
poetic practical pompous, pro  (p) ransomedramatical  postenses
pretending to prose promise a 
predictive premise primatory practicum...

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Hurriedly enroute to her royal majesty
porcelain goddess throne
whereupon earlier today
March 28th, 2022,
after incomplete defecation
sitting pretty on pissoir,
I jiggled and wiggled posterior

(analogous to performing
the bum bared hustle)
until gasping for breath
though unable to shake loose
dangling dingleberry yours...

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