Long Douche Poems

"Okay, tell me, who's gonna be next?"
said the writer of the too-long text.
"No, please, not me," said the lean noun.
"Cut that fat verb there, two lines down."
And they all watched with their faces vexed.
The women...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... redux revisited

Upteenth instance where yours truly
experienced assault upon hindquarters.

A worse hellish fate than perdition
and the closest in the throes 
of agonizing death scene rendition
stabbing sphincter muscle spasms 
wrench yours truly...

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They came from as far a way as New York and Dallas Texas. The class of 1981 wasn't a large class, it was the very first class of a very very private school. Their school,...

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Can I go to the bathroom? This place is full of jackasses. This place is full of jackasses jerking each other off. This place is full of ignorant, parochial, zit-sucking jackasses undeserving of their place...

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Faulkner's comment, I imagine him
tossing it off like Yogi Berra between games
of a doubleheader. The hero, the expert, the virtuoso
has no real control, is going to feel
unmitigated, unsparing forces, a mighty sun
swallowed by a black...

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Steve: This sounds like the traditional Hindu caste system. I get it; all that Kama Sutra stuff.

John: You mean Kama Sutra IPA? It’s a local brew. Not bad.

Steve: Douche bag say wha?

John: Wha?

Steve: Please continue,...

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Ladies run for life 
see there's an 
outbreak like the 
flick, instead of 
coughs and 
monkeys there's 
outrageous 
flakyness,

that's brewed in 
towns amidst and 
all around so take a 
sip, some men just 
swear they're...

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WWII has been over for 66 years & 
for some reason those responsible for the production of captain america: the first avenger
 think that now is a good time to bring back a douche bag...

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No stories this time
No gimmicks, no music
This is the spawn of silence
This is the product of utter quiet
There is no one else in this persona
There is no one else playing a part of this poem
There...

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I see you got expensive shoes,
But you couldn't pay someone to screw you.
You walk around all day thinking you're hot as fondu.
Yeah, you got cheese,
And you think that makes you an OG.
Well, let us just...

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Shivam Murari's Poetry
Blogger.com
Earth
Universe

Date : Whenever You Read It.

Dear Best Friend,
How have you been?
I hope you're doing fine.
Haven't heard from you since.

I've been going down
That ol' memory lane.
Thinking about how
All of it began.

No. Neither to our...

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QUOTE ME BY CHAPTER AND CURSE

No, seriously there are people worse then me, and I’m a lothario and a liar
But then there are these douche bags who see an empty warehouse and for fun set...

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My soul urns for justice and it’s own freedom why is this sh** keep me awake and everything else continuously makes me break I am demonstrating my fake famous traits amazingly entertaining everyone around me...

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She was tidying up the food store,
then soon a mouse appeared on a shelf.
"What a cuuuute lil thing....." she whispered.
So touched by it's white fur and pink nose,
that she called her husband from the sitting...

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QUOTE ME BY CHAPTER AND CURSE

No, seriously there are people worse then me, and I’m a lothario and a liar
But then there are these douche bags who see an empty warehouse and for fun set...

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Friends
I know I said I'd be nothing without them
I said whenever they'd need me
I'd always be there
I'd always be right there
I said I don't throw away friends
I said, I said, I said
and no one knows...

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They’re laying down the rules; and don’t you be a drag
Claiming they are not the douche; but are they perhaps the bag?
Does pretension breed contention; and do their restrooms surely smell;
And when they look to...

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I hope one day you look to people in moments of need and see none care
I hope you feel your lowest again this time no one there

I hope you have a loving friendship end because...

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You marketing types love us.
Blue all over, fear of nothing a man can throw,
Quick to bow down when the boss come by...
not the one paying me...., 
but the one who rules my roost. 

Day breaks...

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Some people just cannot be honest for the life of them. Others, like myself are all too honest. I wonder if honesty is like diarrhea, if it too runs in the genes? I will ask...

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“What do you care what other people think?” 
Is a posed question with attempted answer in ink, 
And Feynman did fine, but there are thoughts of mine, 
That when I’m drunk on wine, they both...

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ON THIS TREASURE HAVEN : CONFESSIONS OF A SOUPER


Forever is the word I quoth here
For how long I want to be here

Creativity powered  with watts of battery
On this lovely haven of flowing poetry

Oh ,...

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I bathed, one day, in the Dead Sea,
My belly floated like a piece of wood
The water was so salty, it stung the skin
It was necessary to go out and take a good shower,

I have not...

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You are the Evening Star glowing in the night sky;
no one can replace the radiance within you. People tell you that you are not cool,
smart, talkative, real.....making you to feel like a douche bag,
being punched...

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Tired of frolic
and the beaming sun,
the snow and ice retreat;
returning the pond nation
to its peaceful co-existence.

Toads once again sit
majestically upon their naked 
rock thrones—no lily pads here.
A lone insect glides by
and is slap from the...

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