Long Chuckled Poems
Long Chuckled Poems. Below are the most popular long Chuckled by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Chuckled poems by poem length and keyword.
Without Knowing Your Gender...,
(nonetheless ex post facto still flattered)
Bhutan names defy affiliating,
determining, identifying... gender,
and what a faux pas this dada admits,
when a blessed high school
student did league gully tender
benighted, gifted, ordained yours truly
with sobriquet "Guru"
alluded to in previous poem, render
ring this foolish hearty good fella (me)
falling prey to embarrassing situation,
(I did misrender
as would be expected
from this crash test dummy,
who dented his psychological fender),
vis virtual mind bender,
when an initial presumption
smarted Matthew Scott as offender,
asper online youth NO pretender
by him, aye mean the sender
communicated his admiration,
adoration, adulation for this big spender
of sincerity, viz singular poetic magi - (ha)
made presumption that
unknown messenger slender,
and female, and
upon enclosing appender
referencing person as "lovely princess"
did respondent clarify finding deface
of zee poet here -
logic chops went thru blender
as if slapped by a suspender
experiencing irrevocable shame
as though a contender
attempting to guide false supposition
playfully mistaking sexual
identity of male sender,
he (young kneeler)
bowed as winning scoring goaltender
down as mine professed
metrical feet, he who acquiesced
non Asian minor, friender
NOT seeking moneylender,
nor mistook my heart of gold),
mine apology I did obligingly surrender
and possibly chuckled to himself,
asper an uproarious hellbender
whereat my countenance turned
fifty plus shades of lavender.
It began with a bargain on a winter night,
When the cupboards were bare
And hope sat idle in the corners.
He came with frost on his collar,
A gentleman adorned in a burgundy suit
Polished alligator shoes, crimson silk tie,
And a smile too white, too wide.
He introduced himself only as “the Tooth Fairy.”
There he stood ancient and ravenous
And far from a myth.
"One tooth,” he said,
"And I’ll make sure your family's cup is always full.”
The first time was seamless.
A gold coin under the pillow.
The table groaned beneath the weight of food.
A whispered thanks into the dark.
Over the years,
He returned.
Never taking more than what the child had already lost.
Never asking for more than what the parents freely gave.
At first.
But he began to linger.
Amber eyes tracking the child’s growing frame.
"That one’s almost ready,” he’d murmur,
Adjusting his cufflinks,
The back of his claws brushing the cherub’s cheek as she slept.
The coins grew heavier.
The meals became gourmet.
The house—envy of the neighbourhood.
The family’s laughter grew louder—until the child stopped smiling.
By adolescence, the milk teeth were gone,
But he kept coming.
“You owe more than you think,” he growled.
They offered him trinkets.
He chuckled.
They begged for mercy.
He showed them the contract—
Signed in murmured consent,
Sealed with the shedding of innocence.
He took their hopes.
Then their dreams.
Then the light behind the eyes.
The house is still full—
But now, only with silence.
Beware pacts made in the dark and a pocket full of promises.
Not all that glitters is gold.
Not all monsters bare their teeth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young squirrel named Stella, determined and spry,
on Black Friday, her Christmas spirit rode high.
Off to the Dollar Tree she did dart,
a tiny shopper with a giving heart,
As dollar deals filled her keen little eye.
She bought forty cheap wreaths for her oak tree,
fighting off a purple blue jay named Oakley.
She bought tiny battery-powered drones,
and all manner of burner cell phones,
'til her cart weighed a metric ton, Holey Moley!*
She shopped at the mall, lights burning past her bedtime,
but discounts? Oh, my goodness those were sooo prime time.
She stuffed her shopping bags with all sorts of loot,
a shopper extraordinaire, with Santa she was in cahoots.
Santa will be so proud! I must call him on Facetime.
Then Stella, with a huge grin on her face,
called Santa filled with squirrelish charm and grace.
Are Dasher, Dancer, and Prancer quite well?
Do you have gifts ready for your young clientele?
Will my gifts fit the chimney's small space?
Through the screen, Santa chuckled with glee,
Ho ho ho, my dear, Stella. Wait and you'll see!
Mrs. Claus has baked goodies and reindeer treats,
And my sleigh's decorated super neat,
And I’m bringing presents for loyal squirrels like thee!
*Holey Moley is an exclamation of surprise or astonishment, often used in a lighthearted context. It is a variation of "holy moly," which has been in use since at least 1892. (Source: Wikipedia.com)
FUN AND GAMES
Peeking through the keyhole of the pantry,
I caught sight of the butler and the maid.
And, though I knew it wrong, I stayed and watched,
Mesmerised by the little game they played.
I don’t think Mummy would be pleased at all
And Daddy would have found out, like as not.
They didn’t pay them to indulge in games.
They surely would have fired them on the spot.
The butler chuckled and the maid laughed loud;
Excitement mounted with each move they made.
Then, suddenly, the game came to an end.
She held her hand out and the butler paid.
And then I heard the butler quietly say,
“It’s time to put Monopoly away!
Far away in Santa town all was a frenzy
as the elves made the toys for Christmas.
Yet there was no sign of Santa himself
he was still fast asleep as it was only July.
Not for another four months would he stir
This was the time of his yearly hibernation.
Slowly the hours and then the days past
until it was, at last, the end of November.
Santa stirred then with a shake he awoke
with a loud ho ho ho he jumped to his feet,
First he checked up on his busy elves
making sure that they were on track.
He admired the toy stack, it was large
showing that most children were good.
He hustled around making very sure
each present was loaded on his sleigh.
He next checked that all the reindeer
were fit and well to do the Christmas run.
At last the big night arrived and Santa
took up the reins with a loud ho ho ho .
He called their names and with a leap
they were airborne flying through the sky.
Santa climbed down so many chimneys
he was now all covered with black soot.
The reindeers took one look and in fright
they fled leaving Santa stranded on the roof.
With a weary sigh he took of his jacket
and called out their names one by one.
Shame faced they came back to him
oh you silly things he chuckled, its me.
Soon once more they were on the way
carving a starry path through the skies.
At last all the presents were delivered
it was time for Christmas to begin.
And Santa? he went straight back to sleep
What else would you expect? Ho ho ho.
The poet chuckled and the walls laughed
back!
They were her friends, after all, with nary
a crack.
The walls watched her pen, her bleeding
heart out.
Their wall souls, were her earth angels,
clearly no doubt.
They were there for her,always at dawn
and at night.
In howling winds and storms, they kept
her warm and from fright.
Delightful companions for all gastromomic
events were they.
Well-mannered, they partook as she dined,
fine manners, had they!
They worried, too,watching her walk with her
rollator.
They much preferred that,than seeing her be
a couch potato!
When the stars came out,she’d blow a loving
kiss to them.
Her stalwart friends,in the blue moonlight of
her whispered, Amen!
4/9/2023
just a little humor for your day....
OREO THIEF
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Etta the squirrelette, with a penchant so rare,
For Oreos, she hid with the utmost care.
In her oak tree abode, she stored them tight,
For a winter treat, oh what a delight!
But alas, "Who ate my cookies?" she squeaked in despair
With a twirl and a hop, she ascended her tree throne,
Her heart a-racing, she checked for her own.
The acorns lay still, untouched, as before,
But her Oreos? Vanished, not even one left to adore.
"Who on earth would dare?" she squeaked with a moan.
The culprit, a raccoon with a sweets craving soul,
Had found her stash and played the role,
Of a cookie thief in the night so bold!”
Now Etta’s heart grew frosty, even cold
“My cookies,” she declared, “thou shall not troll!
With a sigh and a shake of her furry tail,
Etta knew she must not fail.
“I’ll teach him a lesson, he’ll never outgrow.
Now and forever, you’ll be Oreo foe
For you are my nemesis, my great white whale!”
Etta contacted the sheriff, filed a formal complaint
But the sheriff himself was no law-abiding saint.
He and the racoon were cousins, it seems
Together they’d orchestrated the Oreo scheme.
“Look for your cookies?” HA! He chuckled. “No I ain’t.’
The final count is in…as I sit down to write these words
In 2 weeks at our cabin…we’ve heard 52 different birds!
Of these 52 different kinds of birds…we’ve only seen a few
Because most of them have just sung to us while keeping out of view.
One turkey, however, paid us a visit…he sat down among the wildflowers
And while we were working around the cabin…he stayed a couple hours.
Every now and then he’d look at us…give us that turkey stare
but he never seemed to be bothered that we were even there.
I asked him as he sat there…in the middle of the day
“Why when he saw us here…didn’t he run away?
He looked quizzically at me…as if my question made no sense
then chuckled as he said, “I’m surprised by your arrogance."
“I’ve always found some peace and comfort when visiting this space.
Besides…my ancestors walked this land long before your ancestors built this place.”
“The fact you think I should run away…well I find that thinking limiting…
because this has always been our land…and you’re the one who’s visiting.”
“And I’m not worried about you two…oftentimes I’ve heard you repeat…
that you are vegetarians…so I know you don’t eat meat.”
“So neither of us need to be afraid”, he said, “because we both know this is true.
I know you will not eat me…and you know I won’t eat you.”
‘Of course your right.” I smiled. “I apologize for my ego and my vanity
and I thank you for your kindness and your hospitality.”
And so we spent a quiet afternoon together…with this turkey we befriended….
Sharing the land and conversation with one another…
the way, I imagine, our creators had intended.
By Sara Kendrick and Jack Horne
A small craft was put to sea
In mid-ocean it was set free
It carried but one passenger
A host scented with lavender
She to mighty craft transferred
To meet a friend she preferred
He was a poet by unique gift
She a grandmother equipped
A love of verse their souls shared
One should enjoy this unique pair
I launched my ship and then set sail,
And crossed the famous ocean, ‘Pond’,
But halfway there, I stopped to chat -
I met a friend of whom I’m fond.
We chuckled much and talked a lot,
(Mid-ocean, yes, upon a raft)
And then we swapped our ships and saw
Each other’s country - we aint daft!!
Written just for fun : )
An actor I knew
I saw him sitting alone in the dining room
of a small hotel, drinking brandy with coke
his handsome face was bloated, and he was
deep in his cups
I told him of the Humblebee story when
he played Schultz, and he chuckled
he was a man in agony drinking had
become relentless, whatever reasons
he drank, but the hurt didn't go away
he had lost his wife to cancer and thought
of killing himself, as a trained counselor
I knew better than to give advice
on how to stop drinking
His girlfriend came, had been in the bar
playing pool, a woman with a fake smile
was driving him home to his cottage
she, also when the actor was away looking
after the cottage
The last time I saw him, he was struggling to
walk up a hilly road, I drove to his home
again, he mentioned suicide.
I said, no, my friend, you have to live and
suffer as the rest of
that was the last time I saw the news
of his death saddened me