Long Caboodle Poems

I went out for the newspaper at the usual time this morning, shortly after 5AM, (yes, I'm one of the "odd few" who still enjoys the crisp feel of a morning paper in my hands),...

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Harold the Hugh Hefner wannabe carrot top...

spry buck analogous to energizing bunny 
jump/kickstarted procreation ruckus.

Home on the range 
cacophony quite absurd
PlayBoy Bunny herd
and felt ingratiatingly inured,
nevertheless colony or nest 
of doe eyed demoiselles 
stewed over...

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he was not dumb 

but he struck his thumb

now he was dumb-struck

and screamed jolly good

his hand in plaster

and bad luck his master

he could not drive his truck


to bide his time

he drank some wine

set out to...

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As precautionary measure...
 
I backed up all software
resident on fifteen inch 
Macbook Pro computer
yesterday December first 
two thousand twenty two
courtesy two terabyte 
Seagate external drive.

Hardware not necessarily superfluous
when associating, assessing, and assaying
true value to equipment...

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South Of The (United States) Border...
(Reigns A Welter Of Disorder)

Caravans comprising multitudinous
     peoples plodded a steady course
analogous to iron filings drawn by
     strong magnetic force
gravitational pull generated

...

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Each year we drive to the south of Spain to soak up the sun's warm rays
But we like to maintain a leisurely pace, so it takes us two full days

Which means we stay at Hotel-and-Go,...

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H-E-L-P!!!     N-e-e-d     s-o-m-e      b-o-d-y!!!...
Spouse booby trapped husband!!!

Homicide courtesy munch
house zen by proxy
immediately suspected hunch
police, K9 corps, and ambulance
nearly lost their lunch crossing...

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the (better late than never) 
free admission confession, exhortations against Ole Saint Nick

treasured untold shenanigans of Santa, 

his elves and reindeer discovered only 

by colluding via "FAKE" fluke 

did I manage to worm winning the...

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...exhortations against Ole Saint Nick
(alternately titled untold treasured shenanigans of Santa)

his elves and reindeer discovered only 
by colluding via "FAKE" fluke 
did I manage to worm winning the trust
among Christmas elves and reindeer

confident this generic...

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The Slide Ruler

As regulations rule this world from outside in and my time slowly
                 seeps away on this planet’s...

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only by a fluke did I manage 
   to worm winning trust 
   among Christmas elves and reindeer
confident this generic guy, 

   would never breach scandalous 
  ...

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A query one respondent
     sent didst seem
tummy tubby sincere, possibly
     channeled by cyber sea men,
via bayou A true Britt, aye esteem,
sans abba ra ca dab invoked
 ...

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The Labradoodle

It’s clear that the scamp is a Poodle
By its frolicsome dabble and doodle
But add a big part
Of the Labrador’s heart
And you’ve got the whole kit and caboodle

The Labrador Retriever (Lab)

The Lab a friend gave...

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They say to forgive and forget
But I’d rather resent and remember 
Two doves in white flying, 
feathers glow beneath the morning's rainbow colors
To err is to silver as to forgive is to santa's sleigh balls
You’ve...

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Potential cause célèbre dermatological solution
to stem palmar hyperhidrosis,
which medical break thru a last ditch effort
if Glycopyrrolate ineffective
to stave off sweaty hands.

Venerable Doctor Harold Milstein
an acclaimed dermatologist
possesses over 45 years
experience with Dermatologic Care,
Cosmetic Dermatology, and
Mohs Surgery...

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CLOSE    CALL   IN    IRELAND



I once had an affaire de coeur  with a foxylady, in fact a randy colleen
In Ireland with a tough older brother looking to...

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Conceived In Sin - 
Cincinnati, Ohio
(most Up To Date Virgin)

Any attempt for fecund woman
to successfully counteract biologic
reproductive force to whit
deserves grudging testes
meant to garner at least tidbit
sans, ejaculated kudos (by Dickens),
where aborted squirt,
viz skin flute,...

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Just Call Me A F*****G Hip Poke Writ

Oh flibbertigibbet
damn, heil (Stuart Little) let mice
self down dagnabbit,
no matter this lactose intolerant,

conscientious, consumer and avowed kit
and caboodle - ninny vegetarian,
who lacked true grit,
cuz he craved a ham,...

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I ain't surprised by anything I hear on the news nowadays!
The way the gov'mint is bein' run just leaves me in a daze!
This mornin' I heard another of Obama's schemes has gone sour!
Seems that this...

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I have a cat that wears no hat;
though her paws do love to bat,
her mice and balls,
all through my hall.

A clever cat,
a feisty cat,
I made her a nice catnip rat;
my hyper-active tabby cat.

A cat with...

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If there's frost on your noodle, don't despair
It's a sign of genius if you've got grey hair

But the experts say when the colour takes flight
Intelligence doesn't just happen overnight

It takes years and years of bumps...

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I have marked my place,
I stand now in the
bulging vein of the moment.
No more hunting for meaning
or for anti-meaning,
all socks are white or not.
I am here.
a one-sized loosely fitted mind,
a tick and cross 
on an...

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If there's frost on your noodle, don't despair
It's a sign of genius if you've got grey hair

But the experts say when the colour takes flight
Intelligence doesn't just happen overnight

It takes years and years of bumps...

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of mice an men aye n'er doth quit
dialing countless times google 
   fascinating to this human caboodle ling kit upon porcelain goddess, 
most brilliant ideas congeal in me mind, and thou' loo pee...

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A Jim-Jam Mickey-Mouse Poem

I think that you might never see
A poem as weird as this might be
For I’ll use luscious words
That otherwise might sound absurd
This poem may turn out silly-sally
Or even a bit dillydally
In hindsight...

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