The Hotel

Each year we drive to the south of Spain to soak up the sun's warm rays But we like to maintain a leisurely pace, so it takes us two full days Which means we stay at Hotel-and-Go, that sadly has one minor flaw It's hidden away and finding the place each year is a bit of a chore So this time I went into Google maps and zoomed in to the nth degree The coordinates set, I was happy to let the sat nav find it for me "You have reached your destination" the confident voice rang out "No we flippin’ haven't" I cried "We're in the middle of a roundabout" Ahead in the dark was a restaurant, so I went in to seek their advice As to where the hotel was located, the directions were very precise Turn to the left then left again then follow the road to the right Go under a bridge, cross two roundabouts and the hotel will come into sight We turned to the left, then left again and the road became a dirt track We skidded and squealed with mud on the wheels with no way to reverse or turn back We reached the hotel tired and irate, vowing never to come back again I brought up the suitcase then a buzzing began, which was going to drive us insane The noise came out of a grill, and although to heights I’m averse I climbed on a chair and took it apart and succeeded in making it worse The receptionist had nowhere to move us, but I wasn’t prepared to back down So, fair play to her, she came up to the room to confront the irritant sound "I'll find you another room", she said "You can’t stay in here tonight" And so in the end she became my best friend, I could hardly contain my delight I collected my kit and caboodle, pulled the case away from the wall And the room immediately fell silent, not a trace of the buzzing at all The noise had come out from the suitcase, hard to believe but true My battery shaver had turned itself on and the sound was vibrating through It was amplified by the hollow stud wall to emerge from the grill overhead So the cause of the noise I had misdiagnosed creating confusion instead I went down to the desk at reception to confess to the girl my ‘faux pas’ "Guess what, you’ll never believe it, the buzzing stopped, I know its bizarre” So these days I’ll choose a hotel, that’s easy to find and what's more I take out the batteries from every device and lay the case on the floor