Matthew Harris Poet Light Verse

Treasured Untold Shenanigans of Santa, His Elves and Reindeer

only by a fluke did I manage 
   to worm winning trust 
   among Christmas elves and reindeer
confident this generic guy, 

   would never breach scandalous 
   tidbits, into a an underground impregnable   
   air-raid shelter, the motley crue  
 
   tied blindfold over my eyes, didst steer
me hermetically sealed 
   sound (cloud) proof bunker

while ensconced (security detail munchkins, 
   who just so happened tubby *****
   minded entrance portal)
only after getting the thumb up signal, 

   whereat nose pies planted 
   espionage surveillance devices
   the chief head honcho and attendents, 
   Smoky and the bandits respectively, 
   magically, andhandily did ap pear

and despite one hundred percent bug free, 
   a whispered stance opted just to make sure 
   no unwanted eavesdropper could overhear
plus every participant swore an oath, cuz 

   any leaked real or “FAKE” information, 
   would spell imminent demise to be near
the upshot, sans grave emergency 
   d escribingclandestine arraignment

involving some rogue elf 
   (most likely at least two), 
   and a misbehaving reindeer

(names withheld to avoid any spoiler alert, 
   plus this entire kit and caboodle 
   necessary to help Saint Nick

got wind, (and subsequently reined in) 
   a rave party with orgiastic 
   sex, drugs and rock and roll
   that a band aided elf(ves) 
   laced with Pepper Minstix  
   (anonymously hashtagged Sodom and Gomorrah) 
sullied pure as the driven snow repute, 

   when alias Sugarplum Mary (“FAKE NAME”) 
   detected snorting cocaine
code named Alabaster Snowball,
while additionally 
   besmirching her virginity 

   via coital cavorting
   amidst a Bushy Evergreen
shaking as if frenzied 
   with feverish boogie woogie flu

which seductive, prurient, 
   and master baiter friend zeed 
   (spunky gangnum style) Shinny Upatree    
   which could slay Wunorse Openslae reputation 
   as substance abusers, 
   and sex offenders if not worse.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment