Long Bunions Poems

Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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Driving my car across the country, numerous years ago, going to a new place,       
     Changing who I’d know
A loud bang broke the boredom and...

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Light Verse

Marvell-Less
by Michael R. Burch 

Mr. Marvell was ill-named? Inform us!
Alas, his crude writings deform us:
for when trying to bed
chaste virgins, he led
off with his iron balls ginormous!


I Learned Too Late
by Michael R. Burch 

“Show,...

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Crackling tension filled the community hall in Abergavenny 

‘We are in this together dear folks for a pound or a penny’

Speaking of which the loos were situated right behind the bar

To ensure that urinal relief...

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'Everything Aches' 
 
Oh my arms do ache as I write down this prose  
Most days it feels like the pain goes all the way to my toes 
Bring me back lazy days lying...

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I have grown old and twisted with all my living;
my limbs gnarled and arthritic,
my skin rough, sometimes peeling,
turning dark beneath the sun.
Bunions and corns decorate my feet.
What a life I have lived!

In my youth, young...

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 O! my man Oh! Man he’s got bottom feet;
My man ma’man got them bottom feet;
And My O My he’s so ever sweet;
Ma Man he’s got bottom feet;

Gen Z favors brands like, Brand 
Men's Ted...

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The pointed ears of a snail can be quite ornate really. Especially if adorned with precious stones as earrings. Buffaloes bulbous brows bear banging bunions. Marvellous. Just marvellous it is to watch the glass moving...

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Is it fair that youth is beauty
That the best we can ever be
Is before we are twenty three
Why can't a wrinkle be sexy
Who says grey hairs are icky
Contact lenses are too tricky
Comfort and ease of...

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You and I

You put your hair in a bag
Your claim to fame is a rag
You came to capture the flag
Your love of bone doesn’t lag

I wipe the smile from my face
Me set the hammer with...

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wayfarers do not have picnics with people.
travelers, journeyers, vagabonds, are wanderers.
they prefer nature to humans, and they keep moving.
do not try to enslave, entrap, slow down or capture one.

wayfarers come in a variety of shapes,...

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As we approach a certain age 
Before the end draws nigh
Afore my knees give up the ghost
Or bunions stop me climbing high

When all I eat is jam on toast
Now is it time to make the...

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The female onion was crying while on the stand,
testifying agains't the indecent celery man,
saying he was always stalking her to make a raw deal,
claiming she had way too much onion sex appeal,

Watching her at the...

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RECOVERING FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE

Remphan now sitting at home, his bunions not half giving him jip
Looking at the cat, the cat looking at him, I’ll have less of your lip

The cat scarpers before he gets...

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Here's another poem that could be true
So pay attention now here it goes
This is a story about a crooked man
Who had some very crooked toes

Some people said it was bunions 
But that was just the...

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[Written with much love and bonhomie in
response to Milt’s Poem ‘Hearty Poetry Soup’]

                 *

Not so long ago in a...

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I wonder how he answered
When she began to scold
And fret about his supper that
Had long ago turned cold.
Do you think that she believed him
When all he had to say
Was, "I went to see a baby
Upon...

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Hard of Hearing.

I went to visit Gran
to brighten up her day.
But that crazy batty women
never hears a word I say.

She moans and groans of aches and pains
and how her bunions hurt, then she'll ask,
"Who is...

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Ladies and Gentlemen, good folks gather round!
What I have here to show you is worth every pound.
It will soothe your dry bunions, seal your canoe,
Moisten your leather, and stretch your shampoo.
At my own huge expense,...

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what you will
    when over that hill

    well your feet will swell
               and body might...

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I am adamant hi cringe at the thought of dirty feet
I am biased and subconscious of crimson vegetable beets
No longer nowhere do you find coconut treats
Chocolate covered crimson beige grasshopper leaves
While ants are scrimmaging laterally...

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Walk on the plantar aspect;
Yonder sole walks through life's traffic

So on these streets he walks alone;
On cobbler pathways made of stone;

Tether bound feet worn polluted soles;
Trotting marching everywhere he goes;

Step by step by step by...

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This 'Heroic' Crown of Sonnets, I am posting as seven separate Sonnets, for ease of reading.  This is written with thanks to a fellow poet, who is most likely too modest to be mentioned,...

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"I have two big toes,
 two pinky toes 
And two bunions

 and I should I walk or run 
Where's my platform shoes
Or should I just lay on my heels

I have 2  eyes 
Yet, I...

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