Long Bartenders Poems

the groveler 

I.  finding out that the other party has in fact stopped the affection
finding out that the other party has found interest in another one of the over 7 billion humans living, breathing,...

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Josh’s drinking days were long behind him.  The three beers he drank before ordering his meal; the two beers he drank during his meal; and, the two Bailey’s he consumed after his meal had...

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Travelling on the road for business gets old fast.  The inside of one hotel room starts to look the same as another in any town you name.  When you travel by yourself it...

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As the sun sets
A hot wind like this
Does not belong in downtown Lansing
But here it is
Speed-boating down the Grand River grinning and wearing Ray-Bans

My wife and I
We hold down our pouncing bouncing patio table
At the...

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In the town of dust and fog, the bartenders are demigods.
    In the town of dust and fog, there is a drink they call the rising sun. Why they call
this drink the...

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Women Bartender Parties 

Their eyes watched 
the bartender,
like a tennis ball, 
volleying to each side, 
bouncing, soft like 
from side to side 
of the bar, filling drinks
and old men's hearts
with wet dreams,
prompting the men 
on...

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Let Jacqueline, Jacque, and sophisticated Parisians rave about the Eiffel Tower
Romantic poets write in egregious excess of their cozy, intimate leafy bowers
Leave scientists and paleontologists to their study of fossils and dinosaurs--
As for me, nothing...

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YOU HAD BETTER FIX THAT CRUCIFIX

I’m sitting in McDonald’s at a tiny table all alone
Just staring at an inanimate and silent cell phone
I ordered a coke and two fries in case she shows up and...

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She needed a drink
She needed to quench this thirst 
The bartenders were nowhere to be found
She had too many dependents
They all looked up to her for everything
The burden was much
But she never complained
She gave
She gave
She...

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the bartender gets more patients
than any shrink could ever dream of &
the ability to stay with them through bouts of 
loneliness, guilt, extreme sadnesses & self-destruction,
make her/him more worthy of an APA award at the...

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A man and his monkey walked into the pub
He ordered two drinks for him and his bud
The landlord complied with curious look
When the pair downed their beer, the monkey was shook

He went into a frenzy...

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(Is this better than ChatGPT did yesterday? We're having a contest.)

dormant as naked
shivering trees
falling before me

yearning
for warmth
and companionship 
in neverending 
cold cruel 
winter
Armageddon

solace at
the Grand 
found it
in a hot toddy
and hugs from
Angela and Shelby
my favorite...

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Well, I jumped across the earth to the other side
and found myself in a place called Mexico
I wanted to home so I told them lies
about what I thought how much I hated it here

I left...

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Five dollars on average pays
for a McDonnalds value meal.
Costs little in comparison to
other fast food chains.

I think about this as the 
drawer - clunks
open - close and
blue painted chipped 
polished nails scrape
against the plastic. 
Giving...

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I owned a bar and I was a successful bartender.
But all of that changed when a customer went on a bender.
He drank too much and I knew that he was in no shape to drive.
If...

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Putting his whole heart into it
Belting out the chorus so loud
Needing a prompter for the lyrics
No one listening in the crowd.

Signing up to sing again
Waiting for his next go
Playing the air guitar
Putting on a show.

The...

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In the Grand Hotel of Old Bisbee,
Where the sun shines bright and free,
Day drinking with favorite bartenders,
Angela and Shelby, such sweetenders.

Angela's brush strokes are like her pours,
Fluid and colorful, each one endures,
Watercolor art and drinks,...

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The truth is that people think I am the best listener in the world.
I have mastered the face and the expressions of the most interested.
I can toss out the best impression of a person who...

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So many women and so little time
All will be mine
They’re ready for me now
After much consideration
After years of complication
The truth is finally told
Hopefully sold
Females that aren’t cold 
Like Eskimos in June
They all swoon 
To the...

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I never knew I needed one.
Until one enticed me into writing back and forth.
Her code name Turtle.
She had so many things to say,
And they spoke to my heart.
My first penpal!

We had a mystical connection.
A soul-sister...

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Sunday Morning blues

 RIO DE JANEIRO all nights or LAS VEGAS nightlife
After two-three glasses of Twisted Ice Lemon
Or was it an Alabama Slammer?  You mustn’t trust!

My days and nights felt like a Freight train...

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Reserved 
                     By Feo.

In a bar on Avenue A, on the television screen a woman...

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A glass a shot
A drink of beer
The lonely lost hearts
That gather here


The dim and the dark
Hide the shame on their face
Their minds held captive
In a more distant place

A song brings about
A more distant pain
Lost loves...

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So I joined the " social committee"
because they said it would be lots of fun.
But after barely an hour
all I wanted to do was run.

I suggested Friday night poker.
they said "we'll play bingo" instead.
I said...

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The dam broke in Quebec.
My thoughts,
my words, 
and my pen
all moved.
Moved like the thin layer 
of brackish water
over the icy depths
of le Fleave St. Laurent.
Moved like the evening breeze
over the cobblestoned streets
past the lighted shops’...

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