Long Alf Poems

Please note that this work is meant to follow in Epic Form and will not follow commonly used grammatical rules found in Prose, such as, not following proper paragraph use. Because it is an Epic...

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One day my grandad slipped away,
His face sunk into a waxy, pale grey,
With a sudden stillness and a wave of your hand,
You have ventured off into an undiscovered land,
If only I could go back to...

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I'd chosen you as my flunky -
Your hair - Neanderthal red,
You'd hurry towards my shrill calling,
De-cloth me and roll me to bed.

'Textured', you woo-ed, 'mild and creamy',
Said I'd never last long on the shelf,
I blushed,...

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Hazy pictures were displayed
Old oaken frames contained them
Hanging slight off kilter right
  The walls littered like leaves in autumn lawns
Grandma keeps glimpses of every leaf pile we made

Remember that Day?  Indepence Day, we...

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Last line...
on him black eyes did sit........drat Cricket...Don
It didn't help his hemmaroids,
Cos I downed old Darcy Pitt.
They wouldn't let me bowl,

the nasty game of Cricket.
an out you go hows that!
twisty ball gets ya wicket,
sneaky buggers...

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My great-grandfather had amassed extensive knowledge.
If anyone knew politics, he was the man.
He was a graduate of an Ivy League college.
He was a three-time supporter of William Jennings Bryan.

My grandfather continued the family legacy.
I had...

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A is for Alf alien life form
B is for Bay Watch women with form

C is for Cops reality’s top show
D is for Dear John a real funny show

E is for Emergency the Adam-12 off fireman...

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Here are some people I'd like you to meet,
Various characters who live down our street.
First there's old Alf, the gardener supreme
I've never seen a lawn so lush or so green.

Then there is Elsie, how she...

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C	ontentment on hot summer days is to lay me down gently
                upon the glossy, cool, red ceramics tiles, that refresh...

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   We had Debbie Gibson, 
And Motley Crew.
   We had Jon Bon Jovi,
  and Scooby-Do.
 We had Axl Rose,
And MTV.
   We had school
 house rock, 
And MR. T.

...

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Half-breed Hades and his helter-skelter handmaiden 
Abysmally arrogant abase audaciously
Larcenous liaison of Lucifer’s love children
Lashing lepers in a legendary labyrinth
Ostracizing and obliterating others 
Wailing wretchedness while warpainted warmongers
Earmark eerie entities for evil escapades
Endorsing the eager...

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The slum

 When I was born the manger was occupied 
I got a cot at a Home run by the salvation- army
and stayed the until my step-grandmother committed suicide  
by jumping out of the...

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Ode to ALF for Laurie's sake
His furry suit awful and fake
Favorite snacks were feline licks
My knee-slap fix in EightySix
His favorite food?  Remember That?
Here's a hint...guard your cat!!


Oh Miss Ginn, Why won't you see?
The best...

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Capt'n Jack ‘ere and dead I be
drowned in the Hoodoo Sea.
Fire lit the sky as we sailed by
not far from Bim’ni.

Dey say ders nothin’ strange out der
off de coast of Bim’ni.
But dey’v naught seen de...

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There we were - Alf and I - Pharaohs,
surveying those white pyramids -
Nests of ibis - ovulating - 
Opera.

Across the bridge we danced,
Swaying o'er the waves below - 
Spectred lovers on a phantom ship -
Drifting...

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"You cant climb that tree. You’re going to fall !"
Look at the man who is now grown and tall.
You used to run around in Alf under pants 
Sometimes you would turn and do a little...

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Whispers curtailed into the cobalt sky
Inspired by diminished reasons why
Twisted into favorite memories
Half bent over, weeping with willow trees

Betrayal never mute when fear prevails
Anticipation of my heart that wails
Temptation shows no alleviation
Expecting all that resents...

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Flashes of lights, cameras and buzz,
Assembly of connoisseurs and fuss,
Stage is set for the show to begin,
Half whispered words circle in the din,
In come the girls in their new display,
On catwalk with a swing and...

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C heddar cheese I eat with ease;
H alf of the time, I want cheese spreads,
E ating on rye’s great with mayo and alfalfa.
E ndive’s delicious with almost any cheese
S avoring cheese, I just crave it...

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