Long A hundred times Poems
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I CRY FOR THE PEOPLE I'VE LOST IN THIS LIFE
AND GET SAD WHEN I THINK ABOUT EACH ONE
THE WISHING AND WANTING IS SETTING IN NOW
AND OF COURSE THAT FEELING OF REGRET IS NOT FUN
THE "I SHOULD HAVE'S" ARE SHADOWED BY ANGER
THAT IS LOOMING AROUND NOW IN MY HEAD
AND DOES ANYONE ELSE EVER HAVE THE FEELING
THAT THEY ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DEAD?
I WONDER AND QUESTION MY ACTIONS
THAT LED UP TO THAT PARTICULAR DAY
WHEN I LOST SOMEONE SO SPECIAL
IN SUCH AN UNEXPLAINABLE WAY
DOES ANYONE FEEL GUILTY FOR LIVING?
OR WISH THEY WERE IN HEAVEN TOO?
I'VE ASKED GOD A HUNDRED TIMES TO ANSWER
IS THIS NORMAL WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH?
Whoosh , hwush, wush
Wush whoosh hwush,
the billowing wind crashes
through the mountains,
it smashes my window pane,
and empties my bucket list.
I can hear them calling,
I can see them coming,
and I can feel them beckoning me to come.
but I’ve died a hundred times,
resurrected from a thousand death ,
and I know that it is not my time yet.
I have made a hundred plans,
but they have all crumbled in my hands.
Reason or purpose?
Coincident or plan?
I still do not understand.
It is inevitable,
It is unchangeable ,
and it lingers at our door.
unfilled dreams and endless goals,
what if this story was never to be told?
hiking on the mountains,
building homes for homeless children,
Or spending time with family and friends.
I scanned through my list,
but nothing seem to fit,
have I already achieved them?
or am I reliving them?
what else is there to do on my bucket list?
©2013 Christine Phillips
I would be lying if I said I'm fine
I think of you at least a hundred times
'Cause in the echo of my voice I hear your words
Just like you’re there
I still come home from a long day
So much to talk about so much to say
I love to think that we're still making plans
In conversations that'll never end
In conversations that'll never end
Courage
Don't you dare fail me now
I need you to keep away the doubts
I'm staring in the face of something new
You’re all I got to hold on to
So courage
Don't you dare fail me now
Not one to hide from the truth I know
It’s out of my hands but I won't let you go
There’s no replacing the way you touched me
I still feel the rush
Sometimes it drowns me until I can’t breath
Thinking it’s only in our memories
But then I talk to you like I did then
In conversations that will never end
Courage
Don't you dare fail me now
I need you to keep away the doubts
I'm staring in the face of something new
You’re all I got to hold on to
So courage
Don't you dare fail me now
'Cause it’s not easy
When you’re not with me
This world of madness
Goes faster now
And it's a train wreck
But I won’t crash yet
Long as your echo
Never fades out
Courage don't you dare fail me now
'Cause it’s not easy
When you’re not with me
This world of madness
Goes faster now
And it's a train wreck
But I won’t crash yet
Long as your echo
Never fades out
He gently looks at me with dusky sighs
Although he’s bared my soul a hundred times
Those deepened eyes unfold to memorize
All captive thrills releasing moans , sublime.
His eyes are twilight’s song in waves of haze
Exploring hunger’s thirst, a moistened glade
And every movement sets the stars, ablaze
To grasp the blooming rise of tunes replayed.
A mounted flavor climbs, and I’m complete
With glow , to open mouth of eve-song’s fire
Inside one breath, our tender glances heat,
Disrobing this and that, moonbeams conspire.
Those dusky eyes anoint my fluid skin
As ripples of chaste love tremble within.
Any Subject, Any Form--New Poem Contest
Sponsor: Charlotte Puddifoot
A need to paint with all the colours of the wind,
For you over a hundred times, yet time and time again.
While the city lights shimmer like a thousand diamonds in the night,
This scene on my canvas is all what I want to unveil tonight.
Watching the neon signs flicker and glow, painting the city with vibrant lights.
Streets adorned with city lights, creating an urban symphony.
While the lights illuminate the bustling streets, guiding the way for night wanderers.
The darkness falls, the city ignites, revealing a vibrant nocturnal world.
The city lights create a sense of wonder, captivating both residents and visitors alike.
Yet you and me still ponder upon the depths of the ocean greater or the dreams of the city tonight.
I …
drew your face
with an Etch-A-Sketch
it took me hours … maybe six
maybe even eight
cuz every line had to be done a hundred times
over-and-over until just right
adding one unto another
from shape to jawline to ears to lips …
and getting that sparkle -
the final dots of light in the gaze that brought
‘life’ to the entire portrait
twisting those god-forsaken toy knobs with just
the correct amount of coordination to
capture your essence …
especially the curve of your cheek
the slope of your nose
the lazy arch of that divine mouth
and the angelic contour of your eyes
every aspect had to be just SO
and it took … forever!
but I had held and kissed that face so many
times - studied its every aspect
adored each unique feature
and lost senses time and time again to
its exquisite form and beauty
so there was no WAY I was going to
accept any result that came up even a bit short
no freaking way!
and I didn’t …
because my final result was … perfect
it … was … YOU
so much ‘you’ that even a photo would
have been a compromise
right down to the shimmer of
spirit in your eyes …
I had exceeded my own expectations
and it took my breath … literally
just like the first time I ever saw you
or when I first held your hand
like when we had our very first kiss
or when we first made love
and every amazing time thereafter …
it was so much ‘you’ that
it broke my heart … all over again
and that break filled my eyes
wet my cheeks
dripped from my chin
and smeared the screen of
that silly machine
as I picked it up and shook
that portrait …
to oblivion.
~ POETRY AGAINST POVERTY ~
( photographic art created copyright-free by the author with Gemini AI / Meta AI software )
the middle of this paper plate is greasy like my heart
nine hours of cleaning did not matter in the later end
the dining room table is cold and seems to be crying for me
i listen to the air express blankness to my wax-filled ears
i am wishing that i had some chalk and an eraser right now
maybe i could formulate and rough blueprint to right the wrongs
maybe i could try to write the same lame poem a hundred times until it feels
good to me
no matter what, words are burnt water in the scalding pot of reality's nucleus
all i did was make it a poisonous vapor until it became a monster in the room
i am no carpenter that can fix life and love to be the way that i want it in
articulate perfection
all i know is the reason why God nodded His head when our eyes met
in the all and all of honesty, i would still choose you and defy the possibility of an
inevitable fate
real life must be lived without the unhealthy sport of avoidance
knowing this, i am alway willing to try simply because you're worth it....
I have something precious that money cannot buy, no matter how hard you try to convince me that money can make me happy, I would be living a lie if I sit by your side without a dime in my purse and continue to work in the dirt, that is not what I mean, I need the money to fulfill a part of my dream but it cannot make me happy.
I still cannot believe that it is true, that you have searched the whole world through and you could not find a single one that you can understand, and when the nights gets cold you wrap a towel around your soul and walked out in the snow and let the night air penetrates your skin and somewhere in the universe, your soul mate is playing a different rhythm.
I just cannot hold back the tears, when I check your hang out spot and see that you are not there. I have waited so long for you to come and the daily wait makes me feel like a village on the run, wasted time cannot be regained and the long wait has cause me so much pain; I don’t know if I will ever live the life that I was destined to live, other than the life that has caused me so much pain and misery.
Sometimes I feel like a clown sailing between the clouds, moving from cities to town, avenues and streets singing songs of yesterday while I watch the people go astray and the clock keeps ticking away.
I have orbit the globe more than a hundred times, searching for something that is on my mind. I think about it from time to time and I just cannot erase it from my mind. Shall I wait for you here or shall I wait at another place, I have waited here from sunrise to sun down and still you have not come around, I no number to call or the address for the city hall, I will let nature follow the course and when the time I will go through the door and hold destiny by its hand.
I thought we had an understanding of a mutual deal in the making and the binding contract that cannot be broken, why am I still here waiting; there must have been some misunderstanding, if you listen carefully you can hear the musical strings singing they are in perfect harmony.
I will force myself from underneath the clouds and go out and buy some new clothes and change the place where I stay for a new promotion is coming my way. I will wait for a few more days and if you don’t come I will go my own way and I hope that we will cross path someday.
She was sold for three trillion dollars.
Holidays have a way
Of turning, all my highs into lows
I can't help but window shop for
Those that I miss so
Like tears in fallen snow
I somehow got lost along the way
I'm hopin' I can find my smile again
Before its Christmas day
Cause I can't hug a memory
Or look into its eyes
And the only gift I wish for
Wears angel wings tonight
Even though I've lost the spirit
You can bet that I believe
It's just hard being happy
Cause you can't hug a memory
I hope heaven has a snow globe
That you could look into
And see all your family
That's still crying over you
If the water was our teardrops
We'd fill it to the top a hundred times
Our Christmas wish consists of
You being by our sides
Cause we can't hug a memory
Or look into its eyes
And the only gift we wish for
Wears angel wings tonight
Even though we've lost the spirit
You can bet that we believe
It's just hard being happy
Cause you cant hug a memory
It's so hard being happy.....
Cause you can't hug a memory
I am comfortable with the loneliness now,
I shall wear it while it works,
But I shall take no oath nor solemn vow,
just sit silently as it lurks.
I have been reborn a hundred times,
as I refuse to learn the lesson,
and from the ashes a poet does rise,
as I refute my own confessions.
The strength that I refuse to see,
becoming obvious each passing night,
the power that lies in I not we,
my un-extinguishable light.
For chunks of heart have been torn from me,
stolen, trampled then devoured,
for the sake of art, uncomfortably,
my pen, again, empowered.
I sit and ponder why I always lose,
to so many types of distress and pain,
but somehow these paths I always choose,
and I play out the aftermath for you again.
I survive these things so that I can be whole,
as I empty myself onto this screen,
to make them smile my only goal,
and perhaps shed a tear in between.
For I will die for you all again and again,
I will suffer nightmares and take medication,
To truly live I must experience much pain,
with self imposed dares and true dedication.
My heart is warming now I feel the return,
of its beat, its flow and its pace,
next time it is stolen I will tell of the burn,
as I slip from my next embrace.
To feel such things I must take such leaps,
of boundaries, of faith, and live dreams,
but hold on tight to those slithers of peace,
that caress me in between.