Long i dont know Poems

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in...

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I had a dream a scary dream. 
That I had a business 
Hot and sexy business. 

In my dream i owned a Modeling company 
For men 
In that dream I was not rich but ready...

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I refused to pick up this pen and vent the words etched in my mind
An invisible ball to float upon my thoughts like a sing a long as each letter forms a sentence I prolonged...

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Why do i miss you so much when i havent met you face to face.Can i really wait a year to see you ... when .. youre all i want and think about right now...

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i dont know who is she i dont know where is she from i dont know what is she doing i dont know where is she leaving but if you saw her please tell her:
youre...

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The last battle for the Throne

Funny how they think that all of this is a show 
 Or, perhaps a intriguing story of some kind 
 But either way this is my reality and the...

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i dont know why
just going through my life
never assume
to say the truth
i know im a equal
am i craze?
or sane?
did i lose my brain
i got some faith
i dont know
if it will still be there
sorry if bold
but...

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I don't even know how to start
because every time I try to write you
my hands shake,
Like they know this means something
Like you're not just someone
you're my safe haven

I remember the day
when i finally sat across...

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Why? Why?
do you always mess with my head 
always screwing me around and making me scared 

Why do you put on a act and pretend your all sweet 
and then turn around and start screaming...

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a lesson taught to me early in life
we born alone die alone
i guess thats how it goes
i dont know
im just trying to plead my own
case that is
but it get lost in the wind
lost in moment...

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Can you guess?
Can you look into my eyes and guess what im thinking?
If you do, please tell me.
Because i dont even know.

I have been laying on my bed for two days straight and my mind...

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mom, why do u have to be such a little sl#t? lieing to us all, saying ur working but no money 
appears, sitting on ur computer ignoring us while we're pleading with tears, just telling...

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Is it strange the things I say here
and how I just use this place to clear my brain.
Im not really trying I dot prethink what I say
I notice some of those things are pretty lame.

If...

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I am leaving whichever  way it goes
I am leaving to end this miserable show
I dont know where I am going but
I am leaving, I don't know where I am going
But the tides are turning,...

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well not again no not just yet, but then again, I mean maybe, why not, 
       so now its back to yes. I dont know what I am fixing...

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Day 7

Teacher 
She thought she heard lightening outside with the sun out.Notice Bruce's Mama was making some sort of noise .The look in her eye was terrifying . Oh my goodness Teacher's thinking stepping back...

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I Dont know why,I always choose the easy way.                          ...

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it's all for you
nightmares
mental anguish
imagined heartache
the worthlessness of me

Something
I'm not
another realisation of self

first to know
last to be told
in denial
always shoulder your burdens
everyone is someone
this realisation of myself
i don't belong

i know nothing
its what i am to...

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shadowfiend sold me
a place to hang the alphabet
the transformation of your schism
communication of the ascention we havent learned just yet
slide away the weapon of a code of imperfection
the stories told like whispering winds
closer now than...

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I've put on a watch
Yet i ask you the time
You ask me if i'm okay,well thank you I'm  fine
My life's in a pit,it's all too confused
And all of this is my fault..i am the...

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Hush little baby, dont cry now, 
I know your scared and just want to go home,
this storm will pass, this storm will go,
but little child, dont ever give up hope,

be good angel, i know you...

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heard the sound!!! She is Gone!!! Gone 
Forever!!! 
2001...who would have thought that...that 
would be the last time i would ever see 
you!!! 
History Repeating Itself... 7 yrs later...I 
heard the sound!!! She's Gone Max!!!...

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this is for all the DECENT ladies out there...
i dont know about you, but im sick of being second choice to skeezy women
i dont know about you, but when i have a boyfriend i just...

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Hesitation gets you no where, beware dont go there
thats a violation  punishments annialiation
plant the seed and watch it grow just to get chopped down
 cant be stopped now, welcome ya'll to my pow wow
i...

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i said goodbye to u
i locked all of the memories away with the others
i gave in to the emptiness
and i was completely incomplete

6 days and i thought i was safe
and then u came right back
let...

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