Why Try

a lesson taught to me early in life
we born alone die alone
i guess thats how it goes
i dont know
im just trying to plead my own
case that is
but it get lost in the wind
lost in moment 
but its hard trying to keep hope and
white knuckle from holding
on to the last bits of my soul
before it get lost in the wind that blows
an then im back on the road looking it
like 
which way did it go
yelling at the top of my lungs
about everything thats wrong 
but im looked at like a drama sitcom special
or overdramatic
but these things keep happening
im just trying to clear up some of the static
thats why im on my knees
not because its fun for me
im just trying realize why i cant stop my heart when it bleeds
its funny
because i run when i hear my name
but i cant explain 
why that same energy is shared between those whom say they care for me
the same ones be the reason why i bleed
its carzy because im looking for support not no uffing sympathy
but i guess its lost in the breeze
now im naked in the wilderness
but wheres the blanket for me
constantly tussling in my head
but the moment my mouth opens i hear back is bs
so ill keep quiet
honestly 
i see
these thoughts and emotions i feel are all for me
i guess isolation of my heart is my disease
back up before i spread this pls
i just wanna be heard not disregarded 
its cool because my list of friends is starving
put a good face on 24/7 
even when i die and get to heaven
God gonna be like its ok let it go with one of your breadren
im good this is normal 
i rather just go on because this something ive always dealt with
heart in my hand 
well i guess ill mend it
piece of tape a lil spit and glue from an old mistake
and watch me wake and make someone believe in ok
so i guess its mask on gloves on 
keep going head strong
cant talk about it
i just let it fester 
less and less i feed it
soon i see myself closing up
i cant wait for that moment
just so i can be numb with missing limbs
and still keep going and going
because companionship is overrated
why talk to someone who hates listening 
i guess its like their ears are being grated
so im gonna bottle it down
my heart maybe on my sleeve but not for much longer now
if i still have one 
by the time this next transformation is done
im gonna carve it out and sit it under sun
uff my feelings
uff me bleeding
uff expecting kindness back from those whom receive it
im closing all the doors that show all my weakness
aint noone allowed to see it
i guess im stuck in this room with all my demons

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