Longevity
Living a
Libertine
Lifestyle is usually a
Liability when it comes to achieving
Longevity. However, one might be
Lucky to
Live
Long enough if they take a
Laxative occasionally to keep their systems
Lubricated and rid themselves of their toxic
Licentiousness.
Why do healthy snacks taste healthy
waiting on red light, minutes become eternal
Diet soda, sugar free soda, zero sugar soda, difference?
Why does yellow light really mean speed up
whatever happen to catsup?
kids conversing on phones while sitting next to each other
Do napkins exist anymore
Hot sauce in the refrigerator loses heat
Brown eggs white eggs can't we all get along
Is soup really food
finally cancel my land line phone and never miss it
The more urgent the task the less likely it gets done
Still writing checks
Pantry has four boxes of cereal, unopened.
Enjoying feeding birds, buying 40 pound bags of seed.
My dogs are still young but more lazy than me
so old remember when democrats loved Jews
Now a days lose friend and family over politics
Have no desire to go to a movie theater now
Without my dogs would I ever get up in the morning
Never watch network television anymore
milk became a laxative while cheese clogs you up
I like sitting on my front porch listening to my dogs bark
Crazy is as Crazy does
think I'll eat a bowl of cereal...
Harsh laxative sourced from a can
Found it’s way to Superman
Dose was so massive
It left him inactive
Now he's just ... Pooperman
SITTING ON MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES
LOST IN THOUGHT, BUT THINKING OF NOTHING AND NOONE
SO MANY RIVERS HAVE CHANGED IN RANGE OF FLOW
UNEXPECTED ARE THE DIRECTIONS THAT THE ROCKS SKIP
IT IS THEN THE THE MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES BECOME AMBIDEXTROUS
UNPREDICTABLE ARE THE INTERCHANGES OF TIME
ALL BREEZEWAYS AND ENTRYWAYS BECOME MORE NARROW WITH ABUSED AGE
ALL OF A SUDDEN A STORM BREWS WITH CONSTIPATED RAGE
THE LAXATIVE OF RELEASED FREEDOM IS A MUCH WELCOMED CHAPTER OF EXHILARATING EXHALATION
THE MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES DISSIPATE WHEN THE SLUMBERS ARE THE DEEPEST
MASSAGE CHAIRS FRESH FROM SOME ABANDONED MALL WILL BE CHOSEN NEXT TIME, NEXT CHAPTER
Slow down, Democrat!
Another Trump Bump;
speed again controlled --
your downhill throttle,
your Radical in a green
bottle...corked, the lessen:
Don't Drink and fanatically
drive --
All US gears back in Thrive!
Our Nation having had full,
of your screwy, Woke Jive --
You've been overwhelmingly
voted out, to unclog the Nation's
impacted, suffering Republic Orifice;
The People have loudly spoken~
showing the exit-corridors,
to Left Politicians lacking acceptable,
sane, moral borders --
American has taken a huge laxative dump
Bowel corrected, clear for freshly discharging
those newly elected given firm, purging orders!
Not as great as I hoped the inventor said
Strong coffee laxative went to his head
His hair frizzed up like Einstein’s crazy mop.
I think I shall drink this to the very last drop
Your face said you did not like it said his wife.
Apparently, she did not understand his weird life.
If he did not feel punished, he would not be he.
Guilt and shame to him felt childhood-normally.
lately
i have been seeing you in a different light
honestly
you have become even more beautiful throughout the years
unexpectedly
you make me nervous like the very first view of you
actually
that is a good thing
i have not been showing you the attention that you deserve
i let my being a bashful introvert block the Blessing right under my nose
this routine that we have been stuck in needs a laxative with a sincere heartbeat
i know exactly where we can rekindle, revisit, and reignite
lately
i have been seeing you in a different light
honestly
you have become even more beautiful throughout the years
obviously
i have been dropping the ball in a freefall to a potential hell
needfully
we gots ta get it on again like that old song goes
please take my hand for a date back to our natural roots
i would love the honor of that smile that more than won me over
please accept these flowers as a token of my appreciation, gratitude, and love
from here, let's rework the art that was once so beautifully made
MUNDANE MOMENT
“Be still and know that I am….”
From Psalm 46, verse 5
On a silver winter night
I sat in the downstairs bathroom
reading Roman history (chasing
Germans across the Rhine), waiting
for my laxative to work
Engrossed for a while, sure I was
being watched, I looked straight ahead
into the large vertical mirror that made
my location and my business seem almost
public, saw the three-over-three arts and
crafts windows where through the upper
right-hand pane was a full silver moon
staring patiently over my head like a
long-time friend and mentor letting an
awkward moment pass before announcing
his presence
I turned out the light
and the hovering moon, like a man with
dangerous skills switching from a game to
really serious business, suddenly became big,
solving angles and lenses of windows and
mirrors to enter my space, fill up the small
room of porcelain and human, silence and
book, giving enough light for me to say
later that I’d been seen and been met, been
approached and caressed at a most
mundane moment by the
presence of God!
Serutan was a laxative sold many years ago.
Ask me where it went, I will say "I don't know".
This fiber-type product reached great popularity.
Read the name backwards, and "natures" is what you see.
Commercials for Serutan appeared on television and radio.
They sponsored Major Bowes and the Lawrence Welk Show.
This product is now considered a thing of the past.
It proves the most popular things don't always last.
I thank wikipedia.org for information I obtained to write this poem
Something called "Ex-Lax",
a popular laxative,
looked like chocolate.
Remedy sold in drug stores
for irregularity.
inspired by another member's poem
I generally mean mine mien mental state
moost occasions heavily marinated stupor
long established as external trait
psychologically time tested trooper
impossible mission to kickstart sanity
doppelgänger regularly revisits his soul asylum
hellbent antimatter he cannot vitiate
despite therapeutic laxative merely exhausts
well bred literate smoking doobie brother
eliminating aforementioned pablum
witnessed courtesy one floundering grouper
among plenty of fish schooled
hyphenated (high finned haggled)
burn hushed scaled poem
courtesy one unionised rebellious party pooper.
Spellbound with colossal mental grippe
(i.e. all-consuming figurative cerebral
obsessive compulsive forced membership)
magnetic resonance imagine indicated jagged blip
and/or nsync microscopy
showed telltale genetic authorship
regarding above stated mental health crisis,
whereby Sigmund Freud analyst did flip
lid freeing leeches imported courtesy Philip
Hansel and Gretel a mere slip
o' lass whose nose she always did turnip.
What did we do with lonely laxative;
We would be giving it to a relative;
Create a storm,
In tablet form,
And now a loose life he loves to live.
Jim Horn
Your chocolate teeth will be rotting you little cheeky devil
But I’ll take this mischievous ‘treat’ to a much higher level
Spike the candy bars with castor oil and laxative suspension
You’ll wish the loo was closer and for a surgical bowel extension
We’re brothers so I Won’t tell Daddy and Mommy why you excrete
So much but between you me and toilet paper we can share a secret
Can’t wait until Christmas to remind you in detail of all that crap
Of how the yummy stuff made you hurt and your guts on full tap
When explosions have finished and I’m praised for my care and concern
You’ll be relieved in two way because my sweet revenge is taciturn
30th October
Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill
And a laxative together, it could lead to screaming quite shrill
Of explosions never heard
Causing eyesight to be blurred
Luckily only a few people suffered but no one was killed
Eating celery just won't do
every day on the scale makes me mighty blue
Lose one pound gain back two
using a laxative is just too crude
One sunny day I'll be thin again
my metabolism will burn within
I'll be able to eat any sweets I wish
pour on the gravy and lick clean the dish
Born to be fat, wearing triple X
buying size 32 dreaming one day they'll fit
Don't eat that, drink zero calorie
flavorless rice cakes are my new reality
One sunny day I'll be thin again
my metabolism will burn within
I'll be able to eat any sweets I wish
pour on the gravy and lick clean the dish
Yoyo weight is my doomed fate
for with every diet my will escapes
Lose a few pounds then cheat and celebrate
and that mean scale shows I've gained back the weight
One sunny day...
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