Laxative Poems | Examples

SITTING ON MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES

SITTING ON MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES
LOST IN THOUGHT, BUT THINKING OF NOTHING AND NOONE 
SO MANY RIVERS HAVE CHANGED IN RANGE OF FLOW
UNEXPECTED ARE THE DIRECTIONS THAT THE ROCKS SKIP
IT IS THEN THE THE MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES BECOME AMBIDEXTROUS 
UNPREDICTABLE ARE THE INTERCHANGES OF TIME
ALL BREEZEWAYS AND ENTRYWAYS BECOME MORE NARROW WITH ABUSED AGE
ALL OF A SUDDEN A STORM BREWS WITH CONSTIPATED RAGE
THE LAXATIVE OF RELEASED FREEDOM IS A MUCH WELCOMED CHAPTER OF EXHILARATING EXHALATION 
THE MULTICOLORED CARPET SQUARES DISSIPATE WHEN THE SLUMBERS ARE THE DEEPEST
MASSAGE CHAIRS FRESH FROM SOME ABANDONED MALL WILL BE CHOSEN NEXT TIME, NEXT CHAPTER

Firm Purging Orders

Slow down, Democrat!

Another Trump Bump;

speed again controlled -- 

your downhill throttle,
your Radical in a green
bottle...corked, the lessen: 
Don't Drink and fanatically
drive --  

All US gears back in Thrive!

Our Nation having had full,
of your screwy, Woke Jive -- 

You've been overwhelmingly 
voted out, to unclog the Nation's 
impacted, suffering Republic Orifice;

The People have loudly spoken~ 
showing the exit-corridors,
to Left Politicians lacking acceptable,
sane, moral borders --

American has taken a huge laxative dump

Bowel corrected, clear for freshly discharging

those newly elected given firm, purging orders!

not as great as I had hoped

Not as great as I hoped the inventor said
Strong coffee laxative went to his head
His hair frizzed up like Einstein’s crazy mop.
I think I shall drink this to the very last drop

Your face said you did not like it said his wife.
Apparently, she did not understand his weird life.
If he did not feel punished, he would not be he.
Guilt and shame to him felt childhood-normally.

A Clean Slate and a Blank Canvas

lately
i have been seeing you in a different light
honestly
you have become even more beautiful throughout the years
unexpectedly
you make me nervous like the very first view of you
actually
that is a good thing

i have not been showing you the attention that you deserve
i let my being a bashful introvert block the Blessing right under my nose
this routine that we have been stuck in needs a laxative with a sincere heartbeat
i know exactly where we can rekindle, revisit, and reignite

lately
i have been seeing you in a different light
honestly
you have become even more beautiful throughout the years
obviously
i have been dropping the ball in a freefall to a potential hell
needfully
we gots ta get it on again like that old song goes

please take my hand for a date back to our natural roots
i would love the honor of that smile that more than won me over
please accept these flowers as a token of my appreciation, gratitude, and love
from here, let's rework the art that was once so beautifully made

Mundane Moment

MUNDANE MOMENT	
“Be still and know that I am….”
       From Psalm 46, verse 5 

On a silver winter night
I sat in the downstairs bathroom
reading Roman history (chasing 
Germans across the Rhine), waiting
for my laxative to work
Engrossed for a while, sure I was 
being watched, I looked straight ahead
into the large vertical mirror that made 
my location and my business seem almost
public, saw the three-over-three arts and
crafts windows where through the upper
right-hand pane was a full silver moon
staring patiently over my head like a
long-time friend and mentor letting an
awkward moment pass before announcing 
his presence

I turned out the light
and the hovering moon, like a man with
dangerous skills switching from a game to
really serious business, suddenly became big,
solving angles and lenses of windows and
mirrors to enter my space, fill up the small
room of porcelain and human, silence and 
book, giving enough light for me to say
later that I’d been seen and been met, been
approached and caressed at a most 
mundane moment by the
presence of God!

Serutan

Serutan was a laxative sold many years ago.
Ask me where it went, I will say "I don't know".
This fiber-type product reached great popularity.
Read the name backwards, and "natures" is what you see.
Commercials for Serutan appeared on television and radio.
They sponsored Major Bowes and the Lawrence Welk Show.
This product is now considered a thing of the past.
It proves the most popular things don't always last.

I thank wikipedia.org for information I obtained to write this poem

Ex-Lax

Something called "Ex-Lax",
a popular laxative,
looked like chocolate.
Remedy sold in drug stores
for irregularity.

inspired by another member's poem

Sacrilegious Transgression Against Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I generally mean mine mien mental state
moost occasions heavily marinated stupor
long established as external trait
psychologically time tested trooper
impossible mission to kickstart sanity
doppelgänger regularly revisits his soul asylum
hellbent antimatter he cannot vitiate
despite therapeutic laxative merely exhausts

well bred literate smoking doobie brother
eliminating aforementioned pablum
witnessed courtesy one floundering grouper
among plenty of fish schooled
hyphenated (high finned haggled)
burn hushed scaled poem
courtesy one unionised rebellious party pooper.

Spellbound with colossal mental grippe
(i.e. all-consuming figurative cerebral
obsessive compulsive forced membership)
magnetic resonance imagine indicated jagged blip
and/or nsync microscopy
showed telltale genetic authorship

regarding above stated mental health crisis,
whereby Sigmund Freud analyst did flip
lid freeing leeches imported courtesy Philip
Hansel and Gretel a mere slip
o' lass whose nose she always did turnip.

Lonely Laxative

What did we do with lonely laxative; 
We would be giving it to a relative; 
Create a storm, 
In tablet form,  
And now a loose life he loves to live.

Jim Horn

Suspended Sentence

Your chocolate teeth will be rotting you little cheeky devil

But I’ll take this mischievous ‘treat’ to a much higher level

Spike the candy bars with castor oil and laxative suspension

You’ll wish the loo was closer and for a surgical bowel extension

We’re brothers so I Won’t tell Daddy and Mommy why you excrete

So much but between you me and toilet paper we can share a secret

Can’t wait until Christmas to remind you in detail of all that crap

Of how the yummy stuff made you hurt and your guts on full tap

When explosions have finished and I’m praised for my care and concern

You’ll be relieved in two way because my sweet revenge is taciturn


30th October

A Sleeping Pill and a Laxative

Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill
And a laxative together, it could lead to screaming quite shrill
Of explosions never heard
Causing eyesight to be blurred
Luckily only a few people suffered but no one was killed

Yoyo Weight

Eating celery just won't do
every day on the scale makes me mighty blue
Lose one pound gain back two
using a laxative is just too crude

           One sunny day I'll be thin again
            my metabolism will burn within
            I'll be able to eat any sweets I wish
            pour on the gravy and lick clean the dish

Born to be fat, wearing triple X
buying size 32 dreaming one day they'll fit
Don't eat that, drink zero calorie
flavorless rice cakes are my new reality

           One sunny day I'll be thin again
            my metabolism will burn within
            I'll be able to eat any sweets I wish
            pour on the gravy and lick clean the dish

Yoyo weight is my doomed fate
for with every diet my will escapes
Lose a few pounds then cheat and celebrate
and that mean scale shows I've gained back the weight

            One sunny day...

Silliness Interrupted

Do not take a laxative and sleeping pill on the same night
Do not bend over in skinny jeans that are way too tight
Do not kick the can towards your best pal's girl for a fight
Do not keep eating cause your taste buds are in delight

Do not use your bicycle handbrake speeding downhill
Do not use an umbrella on windy days for thrills
Do not keep asking are we there yet
Do not try to remember what you can't forget

Do not walk in the middle of a busy street
Do not ask for directions,  are schedules meant to keep
Do not answer her if she looks really fat
Do not keep your wallet under your cap

Do not be serious all the time
Do not be delirious searching for a rhyme
Do not be over sweet just sorta kind
Do not be worried, relax your on overtime

Paper Napkins

Paper napkins and plastic straws
Ex-lax was a laxative I recall
Bananas with black seeds
Young folks saying please
Things just seem to disappear

Phone booths everywhere
Merry Christmas said with cheer
That corner fireworks stand
Frying with lard from a tin can
Things just seem to disappear

Neighbors who are friends
Promise kept by politicians
News that actually informed
Soft white bread wasn't scorn
Things just seem to disappear

Butter-Nut candy bars
When we believed life was on Mars
We used to land men on the moon
California once had too much room...

                Paper napkins and plastic straws.

7 Minute Reply, Battle Rap With Brenda Chiri

Battle Rap With Brenda Chiri

Brenda Chiri don't try me

It's not old and told, 
same gun, bullets roll,
pull it hole 
strolling rhymes, 
quick time, 
literally laying these words at pace 
while you take out a pen and paper 
jotting down like a waiter,  
rhymes to cater 
couldn't be straighter,
down the line 
the same constant whine
from the kind drinking wine, 
out the bottle not the glass, 
you aint got the throttle or the class 
to spas alongside my asss, 
I'll set you a task 
watch you finish last, 
dragging your handbag to bits, 
alongside your sandbag tets, 
I can do the splits and backflips,
you have splits in your hips, 
see me now, I plough like magic,
your comebacks are plastic 
made with fake fabric,
with laxative patches
you're like Bush giving a speech, 
five letter words beyond your vocal reach, 
needing a teacher like a freak, 
I fight on the beaches, 
I'll fight you and all your beaches,
egging you on, 
like Brenda you strong 
but your words make me mong,
so until next time for now I say to you so long.

• Short Laxative Poems
• Famous Laxative Poems
• Best Laxative Poems
• Read Laxative Poems
• Long Laxative Poems
• Laxative Quotes