The past carried so much normalcy that it was deemed boring.
I remember the smile that I left with you and the stars that shone only in your eyes.
The present now carries a lift that you thought made things easier.
But you continue to run.
You have run the biggest race of your life, driven by a mind you never chose to have in the first place.
I met a child in the past, and I can remember him by his smile.
The man standing before me is still smiling, but he often wonders what the point of it all is.
Sometimes it feels like I am dealing with two different people.
The man keeps trying to convince me that he isn't that different from the mind I knew.
Oh and I believe him. Not just because he wants me to, but because I know the man he became is one that was born out of the desperation to survive whatever this whole cycle is.
The present gave him steps, noises, and countless clicks that satisfied only an urge.
As he tries to silence the noises and then continues to tell me about his world, which is now new to me,
He will click click click until everything becomes okay again.....
Sometimes a poem only needs its title.
Sometimes though it’s clear
The lessons of history
Were never learned
In the first place.
(9/11/26)
Incarcerated desires,
worth kissing,
immaculately
Mary's darkened eyes
wrapped lassos of heat
statues tell the truth,
break the broth,
as your lust-ful eyes
spy her soft hands.....
Its best to be like me
and never leave the circle.
Red little cuts with virgin oil,
never create the hurdles.
I can't be shut down
when I never agreed
to the on switch
in the first place.
I don't like humanity.
I don't like being touched.
I wish I could be all alone
I'll walk the entire
way back home.
history has a way of repeating, that should never of been changed in the first place
The New Favorite
She looks great in my clothes, atleast that's what everybody says,
Like I wasn't the reason they noticed them in the first place.
She laughs with all my friends like she's always belonged,
I hate that she fits in so fast where it took me so long.
She wears my sweater like she's discovered something rare,
And I spend the whole night pretending I don't care.
She says the same things I used to and somehow they sound brand new,
But maybe everything hits different when it's not coming from you.
And I hate the girl I become whenever she walks in,
Like confidence is something only one of us can win.
And maybe that's the difference that took me years to learn,
She's wearing what I wore, but she can't be the person that i am.
I've spent so long worrying that she's going to take everything from me, that I forgot the one thing she can never have: the person I became because of it.
If the road back home runs through a man’s heart
why does he ever leave in the first place
O, I suppose flashing neon lights and fancy eateries
beckon and lure would-be sophisticates
‘Til they find that one meal at home is worth
more than all that expensive, unnourishing ‘cuisine’
Not to mention hot cars and flashy clothes
sinking their tenterhooks into station wagons and overall jeans ...
...
Feeling the need to check up
On what is happening in regard to an issue,
Is a sign of Maturity,
Feeling the need to double check it,
Is a sign of a high IQ.
Feeling the need to Trippel check it,
Is a sign of Life experience showing through,
Not one of senility,
That comes when one Checks to see,
IF one checked up in the first place.
I hate all things smiley and happy
Won't win you any fame
Stop-it's only trippy
And it comes across as lame
Don't come to me with your joy
It only peeks my suspicion
And it's starting to annoy
Completely, by admission
Soon you will see it my way
Happiness is making me sick
And it's completely ruining my day
I won't fall for your poison trick
I'm not having it today
I hate all things smiley and happy
Make your gleefulness go away
Because it's driving me crazy
Just let me be, be gone cheery face
Completely irritating is your cheer
Why are your smiling in the first place?
Take that happiness away from here
She was a fluffy old lady, then a frothy old witch
When she got older this seasoned crone got an itch
She wanted to turn herself back into a cat
Her memory had come back, what do you think of that?
I am stunned said my aunt. I thought the spell would last.
Turning that cat into a witch in the first place was a blast!
It happened in 1978, a spell gone wrong, but funny at first.
One second a fluffy black cat, then gone in one burst.
Just One More Drink
Another adult drink tilts
As another sad songs spills
Ambers poured on the rocks
It’s past 5 o’clock
You're carrying the weight on your shoulders
One more drink for the road
Nights are burning
Just like a re-run merging
The room is spinning with burdens you carry
As the wind passes you by humming
Tomorrow is a new day
Forget about your sorrows from yesterday
Another hypnotized drink awaits
As another broken down old soul silently descending
Why do we even drink in the first place?
Every sad story is the same routine
Kids , money, relationships it’s just everything at once
Sometimes were trying to survive drowning
While were stuck down in the valley
Wishful thinking for a financial breakthrough
Everyone these days are all in the same boat
Your talking to the choir
Just have another drink on me my old friend
Troubles won’t last forever
At night everything is silently numb
Don’t be dismayed at something that goes on forever.
It never happened in the first place —
only a slanting aspect of the constantly reconfigured patterns
nature loves to play on an uncertain sky.
Christopher M. Swan 2008
pen ran out of black ink
I scratched the paper until I had a hole
ink never returned
reached into my satchel for another writing instrument
found a black magic marker
it had dulled down; nothing happened
third try brought out a red crayon
by this time, I was in a mood
I broke it in half
finally went to the computer to type
wishing I had started there in the first place
Screw this place the god damn dissapoint
not in the first place but last we all are here
i hate every bit of this country that judges my name and where i come from over my beautiful songs. There is no room for dreams here just propaganda walls and toilet scrawls i hate it here, i truly do, i have lost my nerves, my back, my knees, and even my mind and for what, for who, there is nobody here worth impressing but racist people and capitalist pigs who profit before beauty hate over poetry i hope that one day i will be able to make up all my lost time here and replace it by box on the beach and happy life
There is nothing but hate here people and i always knew from day one when i was brought here against my will, i am going to hell.
Why do most parents today
Think that their children
Owe them something when the
Children become adults
When they made the decision to
Become parents in the first place
It's not I took care of you, now
It's your time to take care of me
It's a parent's job to provide for
The child they elected to have
It's shameful!
I trust you.
Or, at least I think I do.
I’m not sure anymore.
You say I can,
you say you promise,
you say you swear.
But I’m not sure I believe you.
You speak with someone I hate,
you buddy up with someone terrible,
you plan with a vile person.
You say you’re playing him.
You say you love me.
You say you don’t mean,
anything you say to him.
But why not tell me?
Why let me find out from him?
Why let me gain the knowledge,
from the very person I despise,
rather than the one I love.
I know I should trust you.
I know I should listen to you.
I know I should ignore him.
But you didn’t tell me things,
I should’ve known in the first place.
You let find out,
from a man that is evil.
You let me question your loyalty,
all because why?
You “didn’t think I would want to know”?
I love you,
I truly do.
But my trust is teetering,
on such a small ledge,
I’m unsure if I’ll be able to prevent it,
from falling to the depths of doubt.
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