Spring Humorous Poems | Examples
These Spring Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Spring. These are the best examples of Humorous Spring poems written by international poets.
So, lost your get up and go?
No! can't pay your monthly bills?
Well, there's one drug you should know,
Dr. Will's Energy Pills.
There's no need for you to gripe,
No indeed, says Mister Depp.
Puts the lead back in your pipe,
And the pep back in your step!
Dr. Will will always call,
Once that you are of the mind.
That thru Winter, Spring, or Fall,
Sadly, you've been left behind.
If folks you want to throttle,
Go buy 'em, if you're able.
Cramped in this tiny bottle,
Stamped on a pretty label.
We kept grinning, cuz we chose,
The need to maximize 'em.
By just thinning out the dose,
Then bleed and micro-size 'em!
A discount we will issue,
If used by Second Cousin.
May need to buy a tissue,
Cuz, we'll charge you by the dozen!
My Love, Honeybunch
Your skin glows like the plum, blossoms worker as the sunflower in the purest hope of spring.
My yearning heart rises to your bass drum voice and leaps like a kangaroo at the whisper of your name, Honeybunch.
The evening ascends in on a great vulture wing.
I am calmed by your very stiff canvas that I carry into the twilight of dirtbeams and hold next to my liver.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of Dr. Pepper.
As my appendix falls from your colon, I am reminded of your pool.
In the hushed, I listen for the last splash of the spring.
My heated liver breathes inside my soldier. I wait in the crystal moonlight for your secret gun so that we may hike as one, liver to liver, in search of the glorious orange sensual desert of love.
Spring is sprawling
out there somewhere
in a Bikini on a Beach
drinking Beer
toes in the sand
glass in hand
while snowflakes are falling
and winter's still here
then when good old
sunny summer comes
(and swallows do too)
oh to go Barefoot
in a Boat on the sea
Barbecue in the garden
play Ball in the park
fun in the sun 'til evening twilight
lowers the night a curtain of dark
Long after midnight
in late December
woke one night in total fright
as where I was did not remember
but more importantly
couldn't see
the forest for the trees
and did not recall myself at all
or who exactly was this me
but when I could
it would feel so good
as then I'd be out of the woods
so instead of groping blind
did quite the obvious thing
which then did spring to mind
made my way across the floor
stumbling fumbling 'til I stood
before the full-length mirror
on the wall beside the door
and to behold the sight
with my sore and tired eyes
wisely switched on the light
illuminated lo there was I
in all my glory
I found myself
end of story
there was a young cat named Dom
who every spring chased the queens with aplomb
one day he was taken to the vet
and lost his best asset
and now Dom is no longer a Tom
We went once, then thrice again,
Pushed through struggles all in vain.
A mountain of trust came crashing down,
By jealousy small, it wore the crown.
We went once, then five times near,
Yet still too late, it was clear.
Regret consumed for futile tries,
While memories lingered, and hopes would rise.
We went once, then ten times more,
Took on tasks we couldn’t restore.
"Next time, we’ll succeed," we’d say,
Dreaming idly, wasting the day.
We went once, then a hundred rounds,
Through winter, spring, and autumn grounds.
Envy burned for others’ gift,
While hearts with bitterness did drift.
We went once, then a thousand ways,
Madness met us in the haze.
Chasing dreams that weren’t to be,
We lost it all, our destiny.
I took a visit inside my brain today
To check what was happening
It has been a little sluggish of late
Like a cloudy day not a clear day in spring!
It was dim on entering
So l turned on my lamp
It was really quite foggy
Felt a little damp
The memory section caught my eye
As there were countless empty spots
A bundle of wires nearby
All tied up in knots
The vision section was labelled
Though extremely hard to see
From a distance
I think it read:
h E L p M e
The emotional section was out of control
Eratic movements up and down
Huge highs , deep lows
Overstressed and unwound
My brain it seems is in great need
Of an overhaul and mending
Overwhelmed , l swiftly exited my brain
Service and repairs left pending
I’ve just invented something that I think you will applaud
I cannot tell you what it does or even what it’s called
I made it out of bits and pieces found up in my loft
I stuck a switch on one end and some sponge to make it soft
It has no moving parts so there’s no need for messy grease
I’ve hammered in some screws and nails so there’s no missing piece
It doesn't buzz or rumble… if it did you wouldn’t feel it
And as its purpose is unclear nobody’s gonna steal it
I painted one half red because the other half is green
My grandma said that colour combo simply can’t be seen
I didn’t have a plug so I won’t ever plug it in
And so you can be sure that it won’t make an awful din
It won’t wake up at five a.m. and get you out of bed
And if you wear it like a hat it won’t mess with your head
It’s wood and plastic, bits of tin, assorted nuts and bolts
It’s also very safe because it uses zero volts
If I could ever switch it on would it spring into life
Would it be an aide for me or useful to my wife
And could it be the best invention nobody has seen
I’m so proud of my red and green, invisible machine
I lost my hair and I lost my pep
That's why I lost the spring in my step
But I couldn't go on
When my manhood was gone
And I lost my wife to Johnny Depp
The thick numerous shoots of grass have come out,
no more snow shovels til late autumn comes about.
I hear the robins chirp as they tend their nests,
wait....the sound of a cranky lawn mower chugging
to life from its winter's rest!
Quickly, dear, go out and mow before everyone else
does!
our yard needs to look perfect, 'cuz-
the neighborhood spring lawn mowing wars have
just begun,
it's quite serious, not so much fun.
Yard envy is so common in our subdivision,
The HOA "Yard Of The Month" prize brings derision.
If the young couple who just moved in across the
street think their landscaping is the best,
my roses and begonias will put them to the test.
Hubby can't start the riding mower,
he's cursing its parentage midst dandelions
and clover.
The other men in the cul-de-sac are already
halfway done,
as their wives bring out iced tea for them
under the strong sun.
Well, well, tomorrow is the neighborhood
block party,
I've already made an array of warm weather
dishes so hearty,
My potato salad and baked beans will surely
be the envy of the other cooks,
it is in the good 'ol American spirit-
to compete and be a smug schnook! ~
The communists are coming
The democrats are crying
And the republicans are lying
This is May Day
Please don’t run away
The birds are coming
The deer are running
And the squirrels are jumping
Oh! May flowers! How beautiful
How gorgeous and wonderful
To be alive. Spring is here
We’re happy to be here, dear
Not everything is politics
Let’s chase away the ticks
The mosquitoes, the pesky flies
And the crabs. Spring is here
May and its flowers are here too
Let’s enjoy the fresh morning dew
The children are playing
The birds are chirping
And the roosters are singing.
Copyright © May 2024, Hébert Logerie, all rights reserved.
Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poems.
It's world book day and all through the land,
Mums and dads have their head in their hands,
Cos the kids told them at bed time as they turned out the light
That they need a costume, and before the first light.
So into the cupboard, to see what is there,
But after spring cleaning, the cupboard is bare,
There's no capes, no wands, no witch's hat,
Its devoid of anything useful, no tails for a cat.
So what can be done, for the daughter and son?
So they can be part of World Book Day and join in the fun.
And then the answer just leaps to the fore,
They lock all the windows, and bolt the front door,
Close all the curtains, lets have a joke,
Don't go to school - they have an invisibility cloak!
Dawn of spring brings chickens in the family way
When humans are busy gazing at the flowers,
The chickens have got their love priorities right
Instead of lazing away life, spend lusty hours
Chicks born in springtime are active healthy and strong
A secret the wise chickens did know all along
Chicks are like cotton cheese balls so cute and cuddly
Unlike grown-up chickens that have bone beaks oblong
They need to be sent away to the meat markets
To be skinned and hung, sad, they have no right to live
Ironically, pampered, such are fluffy chicks
If only feathered two-legged friends could perceive
Beware, chicks are advised not to devour too much
Raised in farms and fattened, injected and treated
If they don't look after themselves they will end up
On the dinner table, spiced and marinated
To look after their weight, if they are to live long
Enough to enjoy life and sing the Chicken Song
A small bee
flew up to me --
buzzing, all a-fuss
in my face:
myself, about to clip a
flowering weed~ using
fancy, dynamic, power mover --
apparently, the bee
hadn’t yet finished his
morning shopping hour….
The mower wants to slice --
the point of the bee,
better think twice…
blades and weeds
and dominant man
from the little prick
I wisely ran….
I saw a nest today --
first new for the year;
Colorful, feathered architects
a-flit and a flutter...
weaving, securing,
sharing a cheerful, chirping,
instinctive mating mutter --
though the calendar says
not quite from winter clear…
but critters, themselves know
when spring is near – far more
accurate than a short skirted
girl, pointing to a map
with a wiggle and a twirl….