My Invention

I’ve just invented something that I think you will applaud
I cannot tell you what it does or even what it’s called
I made it out of bits and pieces found up in my loft
I stuck a switch on one end and some sponge to make it soft

It has no moving parts so there’s no need for messy grease
I’ve hammered in some screws and nails so there’s no missing piece
It doesn't buzz or rumble… if it did you wouldn’t feel it
And as its purpose is unclear nobody’s gonna steal it

I painted one half red because the other half is green
My grandma said that colour combo simply can’t be seen
I didn’t have a plug so I won’t ever plug it in
And so you can be sure that it won’t make an awful din

It won’t wake up at five a.m. and get you out of bed
And if you wear it like a hat it won’t mess with your head
It’s wood and plastic, bits of tin, assorted nuts and bolts
It’s also very safe because it uses zero volts

If I could ever switch it on would it spring into life
Would it be an aide for me or useful to my wife
And could it be the best invention nobody has seen
I’m so proud of my red and green, invisible machine
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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Crandall Avatar
September 20, 2024 at 4:17 PM
Hilarious poem - and great invention. I want one!
Flood Avatar
September 24, 2024 at 3:07 PM
Mk2 is imminent, David… decided it needed one of those rubber band powered propellers. See… moving parts yet still voltage free!
Vaso Avatar
September 12, 2024 at 11:44 PM
So funny, have to heard of the Red Green show?
Flood Avatar
September 13, 2024 at 2:34 PM
Thanks, Arthur. I hadn’t heard of that show but I looked it up and may try and view a sample online. Terry
Wolf Avatar
September 12, 2024 at 8:13 PM
Only 1,100 more to go, and you'll be known as Terry Edison. Bet you will be 'flooded' with interview requests too. lol Love the ending, of course. ~ Gershon
Flood Avatar
September 13, 2024 at 2:36 PM
Thanks, GW. This inventing lark is a doddle. Grab a bunch of random items, stick em together and PRESTO! A Thingamebob.
Edmonds  Avatar
September 12, 2024 at 4:20 PM
Terry, if you you should switch it on, invisible though it be, you may get a mighty spark, useful to the wife that’d be… Beryl
Edmonds  Avatar
September 12, 2024 at 4:40 PM
Together as are you two, wayhay ;-)
Flood Avatar
September 12, 2024 at 4:23 PM
I shall switch it on right now… I’m off to bed… way hay!… erm… just how do you spell ‘way hay’ ;-)
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