My Invention

I’ve just invented something that I think you will applaud I cannot tell you what it does or even what it’s called I made it out of bits and pieces found up in my loft I stuck a switch on one end and some sponge to make it soft It has no moving parts so there’s no need for messy grease I’ve hammered in some screws and nails so there’s no missing piece It doesn't buzz or rumble… if it did you wouldn’t feel it And as its purpose is unclear nobody’s gonna steal it I painted one half red because the other half is green My grandma said that colour combo simply can’t be seen I didn’t have a plug so I won’t ever plug it in And so you can be sure that it won’t make an awful din It won’t wake up at five a.m. and get you out of bed And if you wear it like a hat it won’t mess with your head It’s wood and plastic, bits of tin, assorted nuts and bolts It’s also very safe because it uses zero volts If I could ever switch it on would it spring into life Would it be an aide for me or useful to my wife And could it be the best invention nobody has seen I’m so proud of my red and green, invisible machine