My Invention
I’ve just invented something that I think you will applaud
I cannot tell you what it does or even what it’s called
I made it out of bits and pieces found up in my loft
I stuck a switch on one end and some sponge to make it soft
It has no moving parts so there’s no need for messy grease
I’ve hammered in some screws and nails so there’s no missing piece
It doesn't buzz or rumble… if it did you wouldn’t feel it
And as its purpose is unclear nobody’s gonna steal it
I painted one half red because the other half is green
My grandma said that colour combo simply can’t be seen
I didn’t have a plug so I won’t ever plug it in
And so you can be sure that it won’t make an awful din
It won’t wake up at five a.m. and get you out of bed
And if you wear it like a hat it won’t mess with your head
It’s wood and plastic, bits of tin, assorted nuts and bolts
It’s also very safe because it uses zero volts
If I could ever switch it on would it spring into life
Would it be an aide for me or useful to my wife
And could it be the best invention nobody has seen
I’m so proud of my red and green, invisible machine
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