All is lost.
I refuse to believe
Light still shines.
Hope is fading.
It is foolish to think
Strength remains.
I am ill.
I do not concede that
There is a cure.
Hope is slipping.
It is absurd to think
I will get better.
And this will all come true unless we reverse it.
A gradually setting sun,
In denial for night to fall,
A frightening eternity, despite the attempting stars.
Returning presence of despair,
concludes absence of the light.
Ominous signals from the receptor of a pseudo reality
That there’s no more collagen left to repair
To hold your heart back together;
to deem you warm
For those whom the sun will rise for,
for those who see the stars
Hate them.
The stars are dead anyway
Your biggest star appears to be, too
Some find comfort in the cool wind
But you know,
you’ll forever be in this blizzard
The cracks of a voice spill as your head rests on my shoulder
As I face forward,
and your eyes, behind me.
Our arms wrapped one another,
you dig for the warmth
although it is already surrounding you
But you’re in the glaciers, now
The receptor proves to remain on cooldown
For I, am an attempting star.
Contest Name: 1501 Sept 2026 part 4x4'
Sponsor Brian Strand
******************************************
How I hunger for the connection
that I always break
or fail to make.
Its absence is an emptiness
invading my personal space.
Deafening silence rings my ears
and making my head throb and ache.
Whether surrounded by people or all on my own, there's no change
Though its presence is unwelcome, it persists to overstay.
Insistent that within its grasp
is where, forever, I shall remain.
Imprisoned behind the bars
of its isolating ways.
Feeling crushed beneath the heaviness of its invisible chains.
Wheezing shallow breaths, suffocating and in pain.
Asking, telling, screaming, yelling; it just won't go away.
Neither will it set me free nor permit me to escape.
Sentenced my whole lifetime as its intimate inmate.
All these little flaws
That you see in my design,
Can you get rid of them
If they’re so easy to find?
I’m not perfect, but I’m horribly designed.
All these imperfections built within me
Only keep holding me back from
Being the best person that I can be.
I wonder if I can give you the keys
To control my thoughts and actions,
Create the perfect me that can please.
Maybe there’s some worth in that.
Reality keeps slipping through my fingers.
I can no longer see what matters to me.
It might be best for someone else to take over.
I’ve done nothing meaningful with these hands of mine.
The darkness where I can fade into calls me.
I could take one more step and be gone.
I don’t have to worry about how I was designed,
Because all the imperfections will disappear.
The road not taken or the road that was taken—that was the question back in the day.
Now all I can see is an endless desert,
where even the mirages mock the journey that I made.
I surrender to the haboob.
Now the destination itself is becoming whispers of dust,
And the specks of dust are forgotten, because not every story is to be told.
And this one dissolved softly in heat.
For so many years I was broken
Always alone barely a word spoken
Every night I’d cry myself to sleep
Wake up and I’d continue to weep
Wanting to die never left my mind
Happiness I knew I’d never find
Isolating from everyone to hide the
broken me
Haunted by past emotions that kept
me from being free
Addiction kept me a prisoner left to rot
in a cell
Not knowing how to get out of my life of hell
At any moment I could overdose and I’d
be done
Everyday playing Russian roulette with a
loaded gun
I was completely hopeless,I had nothing
left to give
I hated everything about me, this was no
way to live
I was so worn out, just about everything I
already tried
The only way to finally be free, suicide
The days are coming
that will be daunting for all
hopelessness beckons.
____________________
Hopeless Desire
The love far, staying away from my heart
Away, away, the desire, love is so far
Oh, flies a lovely bird faraway
Faraway, a white lady gull
In the sky, snow desire
Just walk, walk, infinite forests, woods
Dreaming my mind, frozen blame
Sleeping my heart, an icy heart
Down, dawn, my mind
Hellish will, pure life
Hopeless desire
Hopeless life
Please, please
Stay my life
Only mine
I love the hopelessness
Doesn’t hope, but lives the faith
If does no faith, then lives hope
Hmm. No desire. More. Undefined love
Yeah. New world. Please, understand lightly
Will arriving, new desire, longingly
To you
To us
My black gull
Flyes
Forever
Faraway
Hopeless
Desire
The
Forever
Love
Light
the sun cooks the fences
the guards smoke and laugh
men rot behind steel,
stacked like moldy bread.
over one percent
they die—
nobody counts
except the families,
and the dirt.
a body here,
a stabbing there,
sickness in the cells
that medicine never touches.
no cameras come,
no headlines scream.
just a whisper in the dark,
and silence sells better than truth.
H ealth forsakes you
O ver and over magic tonics promise recovery
P otential healing lures promising in the trees, again
E ven Eve knows better than to pick and eat, again
Sometimes I only feel sad
Sometimes I can just cry
Sometimes I lose all hope
Sometimes I am all alone
And sometimes I smile wide
Life certainly has its downs
Sometimes I drown above water
But there’s also a future
There’s friends to be made
There’s fun to be had
Reframe the situation at hand
Use it to your advantage
Everything bad is a strength
You have everything but hopelessness
You need to use it
My brain is flooded
I feel so worn
I’m always tired
My mind is torn
Too many options
Not enough time
I struggle
But it’s in my mind
I’m here and there
I’m happy, I’m sad
I’m never both
But I’m always mad
Many emotions
In my head
Most times I think,
“I’m better off dead.”
It hurts to think
So I push it down
But it builds up
Into something …
…I can’t turn off
Maybe I’m sensitive
Maybe I’m soft
I try to tell people,
But they blow me off
Google Search,
“What to do…
…when I’m always blue?”
I wake up already tired,
eyes heavy from screens and sleepless nights,
stomachs empty, wallets thinner than dreams,
parents fighting over bills, over nothing,
over everything.
at school, the hallways are battlefields,
words sharper than fists,
hands that shove, mouths that sneer,
judgment like a plague
spreading from locker to locker.
I scroll through images of perfection,
faces carved by filters, bodies built in mirrors,
wondering why I don't look that way,
why I don't feel that way,
why I don't fit at all.
I pull at my skin,
I whisper my names in secret,
I wonder if I should even be here—
this world that tells me
I am too much, or not enough,
so I start cutting.
I was born into a losing hand,
and nobody told me
that I could still bluff my way to something good.
a match of hope struck
in all-engulfing darkness ~
glowing spark dims out
How can you say that your dreams,
Weaved into an atrocious scarf,
Is not the one you fathomed,
But at least keeps you warm?
Why do you feel so lonely,
Never could feel that emotion before,
When dusk falls, streetlights shimmer,
And music starts to play?
Where do you go to hide,
From glares and unsolicited advices,
That keep hitting you like missiles,
But never take your heartbeat away?
Why does sobbing and gasping,
Awaken a quiescent part of your mind,
Stirring up a turmoil
That shakes you up from every other slumber?
Why do you feel crushed,
When people make excuses, valid or otherwise,
To realise, you only have yourself at the end of the day?
Leave me alone. Leave me to doom.
Blame the stars. Blame the skies and the moon.
And she is always THE ONE,
Until you meet the next one.
May you meet her soon.
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