I wanted a larger sombrero, the spoiled child said.
Weird since she had a ten-gallon hat on her head
That’s all you are getting, her mother said sternly.
But she kept grousing and griping, this child named Hernly.
Her grandmother said “Fine, I will take the hat as my own.”
Hernly had such a fit, she was soon all alone
Except for her old-school grandmother who had a flyswatter.
What are you doing? Asked the naïve spoiled granddaughter.
affable aardvarks amused arbitrators
brash brazen baboons enjoyed escalators
careless careworn camels circled sissy
dark dusky deputies danced until dizzy
eccentric entertaining elephants enthusiastically embrace
faithful fashionable forest foxes follow a feverish face
gloriously gleeful gorillas gallantly grab a griping grouse
happily, hopeful, they can share with hippos, a house
Reflection on My Glasses
In fairy tales, we learn about the rich and the poor
the wealthy suitor gets the princess's hand
The poor cobbler will always be mending shoes
In the "glass slipper," the poor girl fits the shoe
and marries the prince, while her sister gets a job
in the Guardian Newspaper getting paid for
griping about men
In Little Red Riding Hood, the wolf is working class
trying to get power among the haves becomes
a cropper and drowns in the well
Our instructions start at school when we are
adults find inequality perfectly normal
I have not written, anything today is my birthday, and that is depressing
I remember all my birthdays from age two until
15, but as a teenager, I scoffed at birthdays unless
it was a day for left-wingers and a socialist party's
day, later when I became a deluded communist
I remembered Joseph Stalin's day
My dog knew when it was her birthday and got
a juicy steak, alas, this noble animal didn't know
she was getting elderly as well
The animals took turns being leader of the band.
Today it was squirrel's turn, he marched onto our land.
The fox was pouting, for he said he never got a turn.
This made the moose mad, he did a slow burn.
They each need to be the leader, the tiny mouse said.
The bear stuck out his tongue, the fox turned all red.
I should be the permanent leader, hoot owl argues.
The moose got annoyed, and began clinking his shoes.
Grumpy, griping all the time,
Out of work without a dime.
Seen around the town a lot.
They call him Sir Frowns A Lot.
Used to work for the city,
Paid off, laid off, what a pity.
Caused his wife to have a stroke,
Lost his house when he went broke.
Stands in line for unemployment,
Living life without enjoyment.
Sleeping in a cardboard box,
Worn out shoes and dirty sox.
Food banks help to feed his hunger,
Dreams of days when he was younger.
But now he never ever smiles,
Just walks the streets for miles and miles.
Cursing life and shouting loud,
Mumbles, rumbles at the crowd.
They won't look him in the eye,
They just laugh and pass him by.
Until the day he found a gun,
He had enough and just for fun;
Devised a plan to help the needy,
By taking all from those so greedy.
Now robs the rich to feed the poor,
He'll soon be knocking at their door.
Just like the Knights of Camelot,
No longer called Sir Frowns A Lot.
This land of entitlement
entertainment and enterprise
lost burnt broken...despised
skeletal structures reaching
griping
clutching
scraping this infernal sky!
Arcane factories sit on horizons
haunted like houses
remains of Man, remains insane
burning, cursing some
American empirical waste, mad!
napalm fields where embers of pyres that rage
across this facade of a holocaustic ape
an end to a so called…
Mad American Empire!
Grumpy gnome was always griping
Nothing good ever happens to me
I never win the lottery
No one invites me anywhere
I never get to go to parties
He was fantastic at looking at the worst side of everything.
if you gave him a free ice cream cone
He would lament the moment he would drop it.
If you gave him a new shirt, he would expect it to have a hole.
He was terrific at seeing every glass half empty
Then he met his dragon, an upbeat, positive, happy creature.
Dragon saw the good in everything; and mentioned it.
Grumpy gnome had a difficult time after this, staying grumpy.
She’s an old lady and she lives alone.
She loves her job, and we know she will not leave.
So, we cut her wages in half, told her on the phone.
She tries to act okay, but we think she’s peeved.
He’s a man who has fathered children all over town.
It is a wonder he has not been caught more with his pants down.
This guy has a lot of child support to pay,
So, we give him a terrific salary, so he will stay.
She is a ball buster, always griping about us being fair.
We want to fire her, but we do not dare.
Because she became the union rep, so that’s a no win.
I give her snide remarks, and a fake little grin.
He’s a guy who is a walking apology.
We pay him in video game tokens and iced tea.
He lives with his mother, so he doesn’t need much.
He works every weekend if we’re in a clutch.
Here is the union president back to bother me.
I have to admit he’s a moron, as you can see.
Wanting me to pay the same wages to all of them.
I would like to throw him in the pool for a big swim.
Greasy grimy gritty grievances
grabbed grandma’s gleamingly glitzy glasses
Giving griping grousing grandchildren gruesome
glimpses of Grandma’s gleaming glitzy glasses.
Jane was tiny, but then began growing
till her bosom most amply was showing.
Now she’s griping no more
as she goes out her door
on fun dates with her cups overflowing!
Feb. 21, 2022
For Tania Kitchin's A New Bawdy Or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
42 syllables total as checked by Howmanysyllables.com:
Lines 1,2 and 3: 10 syllables each
Lines 4 and 5: 6 syllables each
When did teachers begin
Turning our children into drones?
Instead of respect and values
They’re teaching griping and moans
If there is something you don’t like
Simply erase it and throw it away
Tear it up, tear it down
And burn it all away
No more teaching history but
Teaching 'em they’ve been oppressed
Creating more hate and rage
Life’s becoming a big ole mess
Instead of racism going away
The fire has only been fueled
Creating more discourse and pain
Making us all look like the fools
And then you bring in gender
Gone is a girl or a boy
Asking 'em what sex they want to be
When all they want is their toy
And then there is core math
Which I just don’t understand
Making math much harder
It's time we make a stand
It’s all about the government
And the story they want told
Molding our kids to fit their story
And giving them all the control.
2/9/2022
Negative People
Written: by Miracle Man
12/17/2021
Nay-sayers and cranks populate my life,
they appear happiest when causing strife.
Griping and whining seems to be their dish,
and skipping my plate has become my wish.
This land of entitlement,
entertainment and enterprise
lost burnt broken...despised
skeletal structures reaching
griping, clutching, scraping the infernal sky.
arcane factories sit on horizons
haunt like houses of Man
burning, cursing the American wasteland.
Napalm fields,
embers of pyres that rage,
race across
This holocaustic ape.
Things That Wake Me Up
I sleep in my bed and get woken up by different things
But not all at once they get me one at a time
There’s the earthquake shaking the bed side to side
The need to take a piss when all I want is sleep
Bowel movements rumble griping me to get up
Time to go to work to do my slave job
A big ******** my urge to shag shag shag her now!
Rise and shine Nick it’s time to hike the hill
Smell of lovely bacon cooking ruins my sleep
No sleep as all keeps me awake so I find her
Zombies breaking down my door rouse me
Aliens abducting me thru the roof spook me
All this and more wakes me up now now now
All I want is to get some bloody sleep!
You’ll sleep when you’re dead lad…
She gripes, grumbles and grouses.
We smile, smirk and sneak glances at each other.
Thrilled she comes to every family reunion.
Loudly and proudly grimacing and griping.
My uncles love to rile her up, arguing and sassing her.
She is my favorite participant by far.
Things never get lively until she arrives.
Giving us someone to use as a reference.
I imagine when she dies we will all go to her funeral
Sharing innumerable stories
giving her buckets of praise
for making these tedious reunions tolerable.
Entertainment committee of one.
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