GOUT
Miracle Man
4/22/2024
Once, prescribed Med’s Tom had ran without,
The ensuing pain caused him to near shout,
Driving him insane,
Was endless foot pain,
Brought on by a painful condition called Gout.
It can’t have been the scallops,or the rump of Islay lamb,
washed down with white Rioja, and followed by sweet meringue.
It wasn’t the skate au poivre or the salmon canapés,
nor garlic stuffed green olives or the double chocolate glaze.
The ruby red Barolo is surely not to blame
( it was so very very good, we had some more of the same).
The piquant piccalilli that came with the ham terrine
was absolutely to die for. In French, “cuisine sublime”.
The roasted veg in garlic, the rich redcurrant sauce,
all perfectly delicious - and then we passed the port!
Replete we left the table, of coffee to partake,
with a couple of Glenlivets, to sup for old times’ sake.
A perfect evening, then off to bed, to dream of happy days.
‘‘Twas not to be. A sudden waking, with a screeching shout of pain.
The hounds of hell were gnawing at a foot now sore inflamed
and throbbing, throbbing, throbbing.
Relentless, there’s no respite. In purgatory now moaning,
in agony exclaiming, as tormented he writhes about,
“Must be a change in the weather
has caused this devilish gout”.
When I let one loose in the elevator
I felt like a fart battling, a mitigator
he said, "you couldn't hold it until later?"
I said, "it just ran away, what a traitor!"
when I got to my desk, I fanned it out
while all the workers changed their rout
I cried " son of a gun I got bum gout!"
and suddenly, they all began to shout.
July 31, 2021
My sympathies are with anyone who suffers from gout.
It is painful and disheartening without a doubt.
It happens when levels of uric acid increase.
Inflammatory arthritic pain in the joints never cease.
A long list of different drugs are taken every day.
Anyone hopes the medications draw the pain away.
Such a condition can put anyone on the shelf.
I know, because I suffer from it myself.
Shout About Gout
we started to shout
what all of this was about
we heard had been gout
Jim Horn
If there was a fountain
that would cure all,
but to someone else
my illness would fall,
knowing full well,
under God’s eye,
I would plunge my foot in
and shout at the sky,
“what eternal damnation
greater can be?
And besides, I’m sure someone
used this fountain on me.”
GOUT
Look out!
Old Nick Rich lurks about in punishing mood
He’s gout
His evil acids plunge, swirl around
He’ll diabolize thy favorite dish
Send it sweetly, heartily down
Then twirl his fork at your pitiful cries –
Those sudden, repeated jabs
Intense red pain, complete surprise
At long, long last gout may subside
But watch your diet
He’s still inside
Oh never think you’ve got it made
Nick never sleeps, knows all you eat
This Mephistophelean shade
Dave Austin
I've been eating a lot of pig snouts.
And because of that, I have the gout.
I scream from the pain because everybody gives my foot a smack.
When my foot gets better, those people had better watch their backs.
When a lady smacked my foot, I threw darts into her boobs and she started leaking silicone.
She regretted what she did because in less than ten minutes, her large breasts were gone.
When I get even, I make people cringe.
If you smack my foot, I will get revenge.
(This is a fictional poem)
Limerick : Once Gout which got a Lady in disease
Once Gout which got Lady in disease
Which meant she couldn’t hop ‘bout with ease
In doubt came together
With Louts feeling Super(ior)
To keep Gadabouts (from) eating Chinese.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
If you have some gout
Read about what gout's about
Pee in a South Wind.