Goosed Poems

A Pond’s Melody

into melody
jumps the frog beyond the reel
slow dragonflies goosed and ducked


a lit symphony
campfires dance like sun and moon
in ripples of stone and wind


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Contest:Show me a Choka
Sponsor:Nette Onclaud 
Written:06.08.25

The Take My Wife Please Paraprosdokian

"the take my wife please paraprosdokian"



harping
unlike
Harpo
honking

as if one
of a what
the flock
goosed

geese
i seem
to be
or not

to no
i am 
knowingly
continuously 

arguing
but it's
with and
within

myself

The French Genesis

In the beginning was a rooster
Whose little thing needed a booster
Around about ten
Along came an hen
And that cocky bird up and goosed her!

When I Let One Loose In the Elevator

When I let one loose in the elevator,
I’d been goosed by gas,
released the stench of embarrassment.
Out flew a largemouth bass —
now for the harassment.

When I let one loose in the elevator,
nearby, I heard Joan’s guffaw cry,
“O sakes alive!” She had a blast.
A so-called friend, she turned me in, refused to lie,
so I rear-ended her, let another one past.

7/31/2021
When I Let One Loose In The Elevator 
Sponsor: Charles Messina

Myth Treated

Mr. Myth is not treated right
No one believes Him
Stories of a puppets nose growing long
Was a lie but Walt had to tell it

Whimsical tales of fairy dust and
Teeth replaced with money
Is just a fairy tale about 
Getting free cash

Moma bear, Papa Bear and Baby bear
Never ate porridge what bear would?
It’s only three bears with a short fairies tale
I never heard a mouse talk but, 

Walt made one in fact he made Mini too
Jack in the bean stalk was full of beans
The Giant was to fat to climb down the stock
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall

Because his mother goosed him
Aladdin was all just a smoke screen
Made from 18th century french bread
So, now can you see how

Mr. Myth was Myth treated?
Someone Told on Him

Germ Schemes

Germ Schemes

I had a dream where I was goosed
with a shrink drug I was reduced
the same size as my fellow germs
but human nature came to terms
I had the power to compete
with HDL or LDL
on what to eat and what to shun
invent a bacteria
and cure in any area
or wake up if it isn’t done

The Miniverse Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter
July 15, 2019

Decade - Ence

Back in the fifties
America seemed much calmer
McCarthy's commie blacklists
Sputnik's shocking launch
Ike's wife Mamie so sedate
That pre-historic hairdo

World War Two over
We needed some time to heal
Alan Ginsburg penned his 'Howl'
Chuck Berry goosed his walk
The West Wing conservative
White House picket-fence painted

Boom! an explosion
Cultural revolution
Sixties' deaths brought us down
Hendrix, Morrison
Jackie became Onassis
Where's JFK's Camelot

Seventies came, went
Eighties crashed, burned, flamed out too
But Jerry Rubin's Wall Street
Greed ruled the Nineties
Internet changed all of us
The world at a click-click-click

New Millenium
Rapid change hurtles forward
People do change, however
Shootings dot landscape
Retreat into our smartphones
Loneliness Unconnected

Now the Age of Trump
Rears its flame-orange mane and screams
Me-too Movement gains traction
Women come forward
Teen suicide rate rises
Society imperiled


     May 07, 2019
Entry: 'Best Sedoka' contest
    Sponsor: Lu Loo

Caught Unaware At the Trunk

Was it the wind that had been loosed?
On my still bum, he’d come to roost.
I’d been poked unaware.
I turn around and stare.
By a cicada, I’ve been goosed.

5/24/2018

Limerick October 23

She goosed him to sign the deed,

                                      And kept him on chicken feed;

                                           Soon he became plump

                                           With a loathsome rump

                                      But she could not save a quid.

Nipton California

There's a place down California way
Where I once perchance did stay
In a tent
with cheap rent
Next to the trains making hay

Whilst cimbing the grade to Las Vegas
And beyond that land of lost wages.
With city goods.
"Must buy" shoulds.
(The marketing cry for all ages.)

To say Nipton, the town, was a ghost,
Would surely not be a boast.
Nipton needed a boost,
Not unlike getting goosed,
Or Nipton soon would be toast.

Enter the much-maligned weed,
Some folks hate and some need.
Cannabis.
Hit 'n miss,
But good to the very last seed.

The little old town of Nipton
Is now in a leveraged position.
Bought by a Pot
Company who ought
Make a fortune from its acquisition.

Los Angeles is just down the hill.
Uphill's the city of thrills,
(Where what happens stays,
While unleashed people plays)
Will folks zero in for the kill?

On Nipton, the once defunct town,
Now wearing the "smoke-it-here' gown?
Get high here!
Never fear.
Marijuana's now legal, don't frown.

Btw, if you choose to partake,
And a trip to Nipton you take,
Bring some ear plugs.
Those choo-chooey chugs
Will give you a major headache.

Sheeth Metal

I heard it from an anvil
the metal brookside churning
and fire brass inferno
that later took my silence inside a broken shadow
I heard it from an anvil
he spoke of words unweilding
like protozoa brooding
and elvin skin and tatoo freaks a smooching
paused from all the moods swings
to sway back forth my lewd crude oozing
tis the nose, let forth my conviction
as high notes poke a choke she goosed in
im fused in an entirely
perplexed with latex anamolies
that ruse my use of snugs unloosed
running passed the idlers of traffic
to make my stops in crests of the topless
oh dear to touch the moon how so without rockets
these chests that dropp mosh pits
developing my nocturnal hog fits
a pest with unrest that bests the rock lists
i send one note out to you
this is my pavement to mock this

My Kind of Town

My Kind of Town

You said I’d find my freedom
There, where the cliff crags slip
into the dead thud of ocean:
Not yet kindred
Not yet able to place
Or misplace me.

I lost my children to the rain
There,
In that place
In that drowned sorrow.

A leap of faith to fall
Into the arms of the screeching rocks
Your abyss
Your farmland
With only the company of cows and crows,
The greens that hurt the eyes,
And the bellowed creek of the townsfolk
Blank-faced and silent as your northern hemisphered
Grey suits and Sunday-sausaged brunch.

It was not your fault Or theirs.
But the pull of the sun
And the cupped hands of indigence
Called me home:
Swallowed and goosed
To the south.

And here,
The dry-mouthed moon
Looks after my people
Cloaked in poverty, yet singing
Colourful mourning songs
In this,
the callous town 
I call my own.

Batteries Not Included

“Batteries not included,” She said.
Which seemed obvious to me;
Maybe a reason she was unwed,
I mean how laconic can one be?

Till to wind her up you know I thought,
Without them batteries knowing;
And yes a charge so I got
As I tried to get her going.

Maybe I could plug her in
And she would get a tiny boost;
All I hoped for was a simple grin,
And so it was, her I goosed.

Yeah, old batteries not included, man,
Suddenly seemed much more sunny;
A good goose and here I am,
Living with the Energizer Bunny.

Buried Alive

Soup kitchens,
holed shoes, torned pocket

Shared bed,
stenched wall, damped floor

City siren,
whispering ally, neon glare

Brown bag,
trembling hand, goosed skin

Silked lined crombie,
blackened nails, matted hair

Stray dog,
molded bread, scavanged bin
 
Lost lust,
torn soul, wretched hope

Dedicated to "Boxcar Brian"

Be Patient (Multiple Haiku)

"brothers    it's Christmas
old people love Christmas too
hark the master's voice

one and all    hear me!
old people are beautiful!”
thus spake our preacher

“I want you to know
Jeeeezus loves all old people.”
says our fine shepherd

“if Jeeeeezus loves ‘em
then we have to be patient.”
shaking one finger

“in the grocery store
if you get goosed by a cart,”
the reverend smiles

“then    friends    by Jeeeezus
if you would go to heaven
turn the other cheek!”
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