Best Goosed Poems
Back in the fifties
America seemed much calmer
McCarthy's commie blacklists
Sputnik's shocking launch
Ike's wife Mamie so sedate
That pre-historic hairdo
World War Two over
We needed some time to heal
Alan Ginsburg penned his 'Howl'
Chuck Berry goosed his walk
The West Wing conservative
White House picket-fence painted
Boom! an explosion
Cultural revolution
Sixties' deaths brought us down
Hendrix, Morrison
Jackie became Onassis
Where's JFK's Camelot
Seventies came, went
Eighties crashed, burned, flamed out too
But Jerry Rubin's Wall Street
Greed ruled the Nineties
Internet changed all of us
The world at a click-click-click
New Millenium
Rapid change hurtles forward
People do change, however
Shootings dot landscape
Retreat into our smartphones
Loneliness Unconnected
Now the Age of Trump
Rears its flame-orange mane and screams
Me-too Movement gains traction
Women come forward
Teen suicide rate rises
Society imperiled
May 07, 2019
Entry: 'Best Sedoka' contest
Sponsor: Lu Loo
Categories:
goosed, america, culture, history, society,
Form:
Sedoka
I finally got my most exuberant, elaborate wish
To talk to the poet who immortalized red and blue fish,
The maestro who made a living from books of green eggs and ham,
A man who made the Star Belly Sneetches great, good, and quite glam.
Of course I am talking about the poet who put a fox in socks,
A writer who had the foresight to take the Lorax out of a box,
A poet who did not hesitate to make up words that sound funny
A poet who made poetry happy and glad, and still brought in money.
I read his poetry to my children, and I laugh, and I giggle.
The animals, and machines, and the way his words made us sniggle.
Thing One and Thing Two, I wish they had come to my house!
He made startling creatures real, that madman that louse!
His poetry was shiny, and cutesy, and fabulifically slick.
He did it quite casually, but it was extibubally mighty and quick!
It entered our hearts, goosed us gorabolically, and it tickled our brains.
It turned us into adventurers, some pretty diatotally insane.
He whipped our imaginations in a mighty whirlpool of joy.
He slathered us with enjoyment, his books were our catatalifcator toy.
No matter how many books mom read us on a Saturday night.
Until she got to Dr. Seuss, nothing quite felt totalboxilly all right.
Written July 26, 2018
Contest: Add a Stanza to My Poem Poetry Contest
Contest Sponsor: Charles Messina
Categories:
goosed, poetry, tribute,
Form:
Rhyme
When I let one loose in the elevator,
I’d been goosed by gas,
released the stench of embarrassment.
Out flew a largemouth bass —
now for the harassment.
When I let one loose in the elevator,
nearby, I heard Joan’s guffaw cry,
“O sakes alive!” She had a blast.
A so-called friend, she turned me in, refused to lie,
so I rear-ended her, let another one past.
7/31/2021
When I Let One Loose In The Elevator
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Categories:
goosed, friend, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
Soup kitchens,
holed shoes, torned pocket
Shared bed,
stenched wall, damped floor
City siren,
whispering ally, neon glare
Brown bag,
trembling hand, goosed skin
Silked lined crombie,
blackened nails, matted hair
Stray dog,
molded bread, scavanged bin
Lost lust,
torn soul, wretched hope
Dedicated to "Boxcar Brian"
Categories:
goosed, sad,
Form:
Couplet
Happy. Genial. Merry. Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy. Tiddly. Brahms and Liszt
Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered,
Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered
Hammered, battered, caned, mangled
Spannered, mullered. Half-cut, lashed
Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted
Wrecked, ruined. Munted, trashed
Liquified, marinated, juiced, sauced,
Steamed, pickled, fried
Cabbaged, mashed, cooked, baked
Boiled, stewed. Pie-eyed
Stinking. Howling. Pole-axed, floored
Under the influence. Off one's woo
Steampigged, badgered, ratted, goosed,
Clobbered. Lairy. Boogaloo
3 sheets to the wind. Away with the fairies
Under the table. Tight as a tick.
Ankled, wellied, trousered, legless,
Bevvied, swizzled, pot-sick.
One over the eight. Out nibbling the grape.
Rosy. Rummy. Poggled.
Jober as a sudge. Laughing at the carpet.
Seeing double. Boggled.
Lubricated, oiled, pixilated, ploughed
Intoxicated, inebriated. On the grog
Wobbly, jungled, off to the races
Lit up, shot down. Cocked as a log
As a lord, as a piper, as a fiddler, as a poet,
As a newt, as a monkey, as a skunk
As a sailor, as a mouse, as a pig, as a fart
Muddled. Fuddled. Or just plain drunk
Words and experiences, many of us share
And I'm sure there's a few that I've missed
But while some get "tired and emotional"
I just prefer to get…
Categories:
goosed, drink,
Form:
List
"brothers it's Christmas
old people love Christmas too
hark the master's voice
one and all hear me!
old people are beautiful!”
thus spake our preacher
“I want you to know
Jeeeezus loves all old people.”
says our fine shepherd
“if Jeeeeezus loves ‘em
then we have to be patient.”
shaking one finger
“in the grocery store
if you get goosed by a cart,”
the reverend smiles
“then friends by Jeeeezus
if you would go to heaven
turn the other cheek!”
----------------------------------------------------
Categories:
goosed, funnypeople, people,
Form:
Haiku
There's a place down California way
Where I once perchance did stay
In a tent
with cheap rent
Next to the trains making hay
Whilst cimbing the grade to Las Vegas
And beyond that land of lost wages.
With city goods.
"Must buy" shoulds.
(The marketing cry for all ages.)
To say Nipton, the town, was a ghost,
Would surely not be a boast.
Nipton needed a boost,
Not unlike getting goosed,
Or Nipton soon would be toast.
Enter the much-maligned weed,
Some folks hate and some need.
Cannabis.
Hit 'n miss,
But good to the very last seed.
The little old town of Nipton
Is now in a leveraged position.
Bought by a Pot
Company who ought
Make a fortune from its acquisition.
Los Angeles is just down the hill.
Uphill's the city of thrills,
(Where what happens stays,
While unleashed people plays)
Will folks zero in for the kill?
On Nipton, the once defunct town,
Now wearing the "smoke-it-here' gown?
Get high here!
Never fear.
Marijuana's now legal, don't frown.
Btw, if you choose to partake,
And a trip to Nipton you take,
Bring some ear plugs.
Those choo-chooey chugs
Will give you a major headache.
Categories:
goosed, business, places, travel,
Form:
Limerick
“Batteries not included,” She said.
Which seemed obvious to me;
Maybe a reason she was unwed,
I mean how laconic can one be?
Till to wind her up you know I thought,
Without them batteries knowing;
And yes a charge so I got
As I tried to get her going.
Maybe I could plug her in
And she would get a tiny boost;
All I hoped for was a simple grin,
And so it was, her I goosed.
Yeah, old batteries not included, man,
Suddenly seemed much more sunny;
A good goose and here I am,
Living with the Energizer Bunny.
Categories:
goosed, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
The Ruba’iyat of Créteil Lake – Part Seven
The balding weeping willow by the Prefecture Gate’s railings
There where on drowsy summer’s day gather swan and goslings
To unfurl and let fan the crisp ensconced feathery quills
Litter and scum frothing in a creepy morass of leavings
Yarrow stalk mats faded leaves sticking to twigs and branches
Skewered tins dead fish collapsed beer cans plastic bags bottles
Shredded rags browned-off yesteryear’s papers broken toys turds
All fizzing curdling in unholy pot au feu stenches
There where her knee-cap juts round the firemen’s helicopter pad
Along the shin-wobbling cobbled promenade laid rough shod
Signs of her sick bowels cling to the nostrils and sticky soles
Or is she with baby taken her tummy heavy with pod
Had old Khayyam goosed her during abandoned sleep numbness
Caring less for her image than her breeding will confess
Or did she dream immaculate conception to walk the plank
Even before returning cranes cross over to Loch Ness
Alas! Deep in her longing quest the lone siluroid dreams
More than all the poetasters of Isphahan Khayyam convenes
The sun at four burns sickly upon her breast and collar bones
Woe to the Damsel in distress the Poet forsakens!
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Categories:
goosed, dream,
Form:
Quatrain
Germ Schemes
I had a dream where I was goosed
with a shrink drug I was reduced
the same size as my fellow germs
but human nature came to terms
I had the power to compete
with HDL or LDL
on what to eat and what to shun
invent a bacteria
and cure in any area
or wake up if it isn’t done
The Miniverse Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter
July 15, 2019
Categories:
goosed, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Every friggin day
mother hen runs amuck,
while all chicken's
beady eyes appear awestruck
drawing particular
agitation, irritation, perturbation...
of Punxsutawney (Doctor) Phil
(well grounded) woodchuck,
the latter glaring at henpecked
yours truly rifled
tail feathered rooster,
whether communicating
nonverbal sympathy
towards me, a garden variety
Gallus gallus domesticus dumbstruck,
who doth make feeble attempt
albeit without explaining
rhyme or reason
poetic, plaintive, pathetic... cluck,
regarding doomed pyrrhic victory
against incessant cackling
more fowl and upset
than goosed duck,
she that casus belli hideous source
feels cooped up bred to lay eggs
absent any pleasure to fµç*
out her tail feathers fin
hushed yoked for sole purpose
mutter under beak, what the "huck"
subsequently, she takes frustration
buzzfeeding me 'bout chained to
chicken feed to earn
breeder (yours truly) favorable luck
yielding "FAKE" farmer
Matthew Scott Harris megabuck
regarding top quality accolades
raves subsequently generate
he invariably feels moonstruck
matter of fact expanded business
necessitating workers to drive
state of the art rigorous motortruck
the missus decries mistreatment
scratching thru mire and muck
to fill little beasts in belly,
eventually retired, repurposed
relieved invariably chef
buoy or gull hardy sole destiny,
whereby one or another
hired hand will gingerly pluck
every spruced, primped,
groomed... feather
in short shrift priming
precious helpless creature,
(who bemoans lack
of state bird status)
into slaughterhouse five
butchered, filleted (maybe), quartered...
routed to household kitchen
gamely served at potluck
toothpicks applied to teeth
loosening gristle unstuck
after appetites satiated
belt unbuckled years ago
purchased before Sears Roebuck
shuttered stores, plus
bought linens and things
comfortable pillow perfect to tuck
under drowsy sudden sleepy head
unaware coop d'etat mutiny hatched,
whereby sly fox weasels him/
herself to guard henhouse
finding petrified slack beaked
AC/DC powered chicken coop,
where prating poultry thunderstruck.
Categories:
goosed, abuse, father, grave, marriage,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
broke left front tooth
(true anecdote circa late 1960's early 1970's) prithee
which cold wintry temperatures re:
wheely jogged unpleasant event in axle all let tea
aye rem member inxs of cold playing air
froze natural on gull din pond,
where over head Canadian geese did blare
honking the latest goose sip
loud and crystal clear,
when from behind a bush
(color of smashed pumpkin)
did peek a deer
alert to any rod nee danger field
by parking upright
either one or both ear
instinct flashed warning to doe eyed creature
lest predator doth lurk and induce fear
while Harris Family and friends
oblivious attired in wintry gear,
which padded material cladding
adequately protected me from cold
caused clouded difficulty to see
(thru fog coated glasses),
and muffled keen hear
ring any forewarning
as chief identifier icier
this then gawky child nerd
precariously maintaining balance
on his skates
gliding, than extemoraneous
ill prepareed head over blades swan dive
shutterflying like a bird soon tubby goosed
such attempts made this boy
appear quite absurd
ah, if only this mind of mine shut oral trapdoor,
and force haw debacle with preturnatural wink
did two step quick think,
but woe misfortune awaited
across the bumpy natural rink
blithely jettisoning myself,
to and fro, hither and yon
like a rolling stone
(that gathered no hearty moss) going plink
unaware while in camouflage pose
disguised as one sneaky, slippery icy fink
that snuck up in a blink
found me squarely face down
shattering left front tooth
immediately discovered
via tongue as private sleuth
found me in an extremely agitated state forsooth
as if on fire from red hot chili peppers
wrought jagged dentin chewable booth
Categories:
goosed, blue, health, hurt, identity,
Form:
Free verse
into melody
jumps the frog beyond the reel
slow dragonflies goosed and ducked
a lit symphony
campfires dance like sun and moon
in ripples of stone and wind
----------------------------
Contest:Show me a Choka
Sponsor:Nette Onclaud
Written:06.08.25
Categories:
goosed, bird, environment, light, nature,
Form:
Choka
She goosed him to sign the deed,
And kept him on chicken feed;
Soon he became plump
With a loathsome rump
But she could not save a quid.
Categories:
goosed, fun,
Form:
Limerick
My Kind of Town
You said I’d find my freedom
There, where the cliff crags slip
into the dead thud of ocean:
Not yet kindred
Not yet able to place
Or misplace me.
I lost my children to the rain
There,
In that place
In that drowned sorrow.
A leap of faith to fall
Into the arms of the screeching rocks
Your abyss
Your farmland
With only the company of cows and crows,
The greens that hurt the eyes,
And the bellowed creek of the townsfolk
Blank-faced and silent as your northern hemisphered
Grey suits and Sunday-sausaged brunch.
It was not your fault Or theirs.
But the pull of the sun
And the cupped hands of indigence
Called me home:
Swallowed and goosed
To the south.
And here,
The dry-mouthed moon
Looks after my people
Cloaked in poverty, yet singing
Colourful mourning songs
In this,
the callous town
I call my own.
Categories:
goosed, africa, community,
Form:
Free verse