Science Funny Poems | Examples
These Science Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Science. These are the best examples of Funny Science poems written by international poets.
Herodotus thought that the sun,
When blown from its course, summer's done.
That wasn't quite true,
Was maybe coo-coo,
But thinking about it is fun.
A man from Connecticut found
His legs would not reach to the ground.
“I wish I was shorter,”
He told a reporter,
“To stop all this floating around.”
Sir Isaac Newton, so great,
Had the apple been rotten and late,
No physics would have been discovered yet,
No derivations would have ever been set.
The pi that’s of math has its day,
But that of the baker, no way.
Though both are quite round,
Less merit is found,
In pies that in stomachs do lay.
Time is a word used to understand things that have passed,
A word that could mean slow or conceptually fast,
Do you understand what that means,
Or do you grab on and fly by those pant seams,
We use words to try to make sense of things,
From cosmological couplings to New York fashion flings,
A verbal frequency somehow makes sense,
For our conceptions are learned in a past tense.
Someone asked old Mrs. O'Leary,
"What do you think about string theory?"
She said, "I don't believe in such a thing,
because it doesn't cover everything,
and what it leaves uncovered can be pretty damn scary."
What Einstein dreamed in his drowsy brain
would’ve driven any normal person insane.
He saw God with a face to be feared,
yelling, "I already told you, e equals mc squared!
Albert! How many times do I have to explain!"
Captain Picard enters his quarters
after a hard day on the bridge, the
Enterprise had left Klingon space
Tea, Earl Grey, hot
The replicator whirred inaudibly
Damn it!
Cup!
CUP!
Water, soapy, hot
The replicator responded again
Damn it!
Red alert!
A scientist said to his mate
“We came from the line of primate!”
Said one of the men,
While waving his pen,
“Refer to yourself, not us, mate.”
An ape heard the scientist say
That men share the same gene as they.
The ape proudly said,
“You’d wish you were dead--
Insult us no more or you’ll pay.”
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I don’t have a basement
there’s no hills here to run to
no caves for miles around
haven’t stockpiled tins of beans
or tomatoes
or peach slices
panic buying hasn’t been bought
no guns no knives
except cutlery
and I’m not a film star
getting out of impossibilities
saving the world with nice teeth
so I guess I’ll just stay in bed
or pull up a chair
watching it all eating crisps
Immune to the virus, I am.
I eat green eggs and ham.
That I eat daily with a fork.
Hah, science, I’m no dork!
I use Johnson & Johnson shampoo.
So I’m topically vaxxed, immune too!
Sure add bleach in my drinking water.
Since Covid can’t live where it’s hotter.
Wearing a mask is just for Halloween.
Needles are for fun, not a vaccine.
So screw your mask, I’ll see you later.
From my bed, and shiny new ventilator.
My teacher was not so good as yours seems to be,
His name was Goodwill and he taught us Chemistry.
He always wanted us to answer difficult questions,
And beat you strong if you cannot balance equations.
If you are late in class he'd twist and twist your ear
Until it falls to the ground and you'll pick it there.
He was so strong when he held you you'd wet your pants...
(He had gigantic hands I once gave him a compliment)
But a person can survive twenty four strokes I was the experiment,
Don't ever disturb Goodwill and give him a comment!
One time he held a student by the door
And twisted his ear till it fell to the floor.
I've never seen Goodwill apologize before
And he will never, for that I'm sure.
The current whizzes around the wire.
If there's no resistor, there will be fire.
So boring were 1950's school reading primers --
See Dick. See Dick run. Run, Dick. Run, run, run.
See Jane. See Jane run. Run, Jane. Run, run, run. --
The status quo reigned. Schookids' futures' no fun
Then along came Dr. Suess' cat and changed all of that --
Sally and I and the fish jumped up and down on the ball
The cup and the plate, the spoon and the cake, all standing tall --
Who cares if later we watched all those cool things fall
By 1957, kids of all ages were moving and grooving a lot --
to Sam-I-am, Yertle the Turtle, and Marvin K. Mooney
the Vipper of Vipp and the Horton the Who driving us loony --
Poor timing, Sputnik 1: USA's finest now force-fed Science. O, ruined we!
Pick it
Up that
There in
Front of
You then
Throw it
Over
There
Behind
You where you
Once were
Before
When you
Stepped out
Your door and
Walked
Passed
Other
People's glass
Houses all the while
Smiling knowing that you
Threw the first
Stone at
Your
Very
Own