Easter Funny Poems | Examples
These Easter Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Easter. These are the best examples of Funny Easter poems written by international poets.
Holy Slime of Spring™
Seasonal Epic -- Limited Drop
A divine ooze imbued with chaotic Easter energy.
Hand-delivered by a suspiciously muscular bunny and sealed in a glitter egg forged from cosmic sugar.
Properties:
Sparkles under moonlight
Smells faintly of jellybeans, peeps, and ambition
Doubles as a universal key for Easter Basket Portals™
Hums quietly when near chocolate
Effects (Passive):
+2 Egg Luck
+1 Bunny Evasion
+3 Glitter-Based Charisma
Immune to Monday blues for 24 hours after contact
Warning:
Do not feed after midnight.
Do not combine with cursed grass.
Do not let it judge you (it already has).
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you… or in that locked drawer you forgot existed.
Slime Label Edition
Jelly-glow divine,
bunny whispers through the mist--
greed’s celebration.
Jellybean Blessing
May your slime stay squishy,
your portals stay open,
and your enemies
step in glitter barefoot.
May every egg you touch
hatch delight or mild chaos,
and may you always
taste the rainbow
before it melts.
The bunny came and hid the eggs
since he’s mammal the question begs
where did they come from?
did he buy lump sum?
wonder what he’d do with frog legs?
What’s with the chicks following him?
maybe they’re there on a wild whim
difference in age?
large, I’d wage
but I am not a judge of them.
Then there is the most obvious question
if Easter Bunny is male, concession,
how could he lay an egg
down his long trouser leg?
I think I need a therapy session.
Past the salad fields of green,
With ciders flowing in between,
An island sits though out a-ways,
Of candy from the holidays.
They’re thrown away and tossed aside,
Without a bite or even tried,
So past the days of fresher primes,
They cry about forgotten times.
The candy corn all in a heap,
Continue on to slowly weep,
Passed over for a candy bar,
To sit untouched inside a jar.
And next to them, the tootsie rolls,
Were pushed aside in candy bowls,
They sob next to the candy canes,
Who watched alone the Christmas trains.
Just look who’s sitting by the docks,
A full but lonely chocolate box,
Who never shared dessert with wine,
Or eaten by a Valentine.
The hollowed bunnies hop around,
The jelly beans upon the ground,
But stuck among a larger mass,
Of artificial Easter grass.
They weep and think about the day,
And time that they were thrown away,
As now it’s here they sadly roam,
Their misfit candy island home.
supervisor edgar white
following a nasty bite
screamed since some find funny
me mauled by a bunny
all get to work late tonight.
The Easter Butt, the Easter Butt
Put Away Your Booze and Smut
Kiss your Spouse and Hug your Mutt
And Motorboat the Easter Butt.
With animals,
we must cope well ..
Do not provoke them ...
Let’s be calm,
smooth to the extreme ...
To get bored
With the donkey sucker,
with savannah lion,
rodeo bull ....
To discuss:
With snake created,
bogged cow,
hot dog...
Better to chat
with passive azemole,
backyard worm,
pussy friend ...
Don't get in the mood:
with wild foal.
prairie buffalo,
Polar Bear...
Look for more to say:
with teddy bear,
Christmas turkey,
Easter bunny...
Don't want to face:
jaguar with short stick,
wetland alligator,
pitbull loose in the street ...
It is better to dialogue: with
Lamb of God,
indian cow,
dove of peace ...
Taking due account
precautions, we will not have
problems...
So we respect
animals with their
ways, ways and habitat ...
Then fine...!
If you thought killer clowns were fun
Chainsaw Massacre Easter Bunny is right up your plate
If you like Stephen King novels and are not fearful,
You are really going to like CMEB
Come on down, I scream to my neighbor
Don’t be such a chicken.
Get out of that tree!
you make me smile
for you i'll walk for miles
things you say
makes my day
your my easter bunny
YOUR SO
FUNNY
What does pulverize mean? The five-year-old asks me.
His face is a frown.
“No idea,” I lie.
Having already put up with sobbing wailing
over the Easter Bunny’s beheading
which was explained by his 11-year-old brother.
Brother who giggles and runs off.
No telling how he has used pulverize.
I died some eggs for Easter to celebrate the season.
How was I to know what would happen when, I’d leave them.
Upon the counter top they sat, drying for awhile.
When I returned, they’d come to life;
giggly, jiggly, wiggly cartoons met my eyes.
They were having a conversation; talking all at once;
Sarcastic egg pointed me out as the one who’d boiled them!
Screaming ensued that brought the neighbors; now...silence.
Everyone has a good old time,
they're written in songs, they're written in rhyme
they have their own days or have their own season
and none of those guys get more applause
than that fat old dude called Santa Clause!
Jack Frost is praised for nothing more
than leaving his artwork on windows and doors,
and the boogeyman gets accolades
for scarin' the hell outa Suzy and Dave.
I can't get busy with my petty labors
'til the Sandman goes and does me a favor.
They're all guys and all overrated - overpaid,
over loved, like that rabbit I dated,
and what do I get for a nighttime of chores
but a sack full of teeth and not a thing more.
Well, none of 'em will think it's so freakin' funny
when they find what I've done with that damn Easter Bunny!
Signed, The Tooth Fairy
One could question the Easter Bunny
Why a limerick should be funny
A rabbit egg
May pull your leg
But it can't give you love nor money!
HE DIDN'T CLIMB THE WALL AGAIN
A hefty dainty young man of twenty
lived alone in a lane beside the town hall.
People called him Humpty Dumpty
because he could climb any high wall.
He went all out to his effort’s end,
colored his face, looked an Easter egg
and searched for a sweet girlfriend,
so her love he could create and beg.
At long last one evening at the sunset
he saw a smiling girl on a nearby balcony.
He knew she was the girl he should get
for he could no longer bear mental agony.
His Juliet was there across the high wall,
he thought as an expert he’d easily climb,
but on it he couldn’t sit, tumbled, had a fall.
Along with the heart he broke his limb.
Nobody could put his heart’s pieces together.
For the rest of his life he lived in bitter pain,
the Romeo in him disappeared in the thin air.
He didn’t try to climb and sit on a wall again.
June 27, 2018
With more than her share of fake news
Melania suffered the blues
From the President's sleuth
She soon learned the truth
And now spends her days with #MeToos
Our President once shared the thought
That Congress could never be bought
But one Russian tweet
Said Congress was cheap
So Ivanka bought the whole lot
The White House Easter Egg Hunt
Gave Ivanka the ideal front
With some huge discounts
From her Chinese accounts
She evaded every confront
Fabergé is quite a big debt
But not one that she would regret
Like the Easter Bunny
Our Congress is funny
Though the world is not laughing yet!
Donald Trump Junior once said,
"My Dad is the Giver of bread,"
But when Russian around
On foreign ground
Putin will feather his bed!
APRIL FOOL
your to me a treat
make my heart beat
things you say makes my day
its fun and play
my easter bunny
SWEET AND FUNNY