Farting Poems - Poems about Farting

Farting

Walking farts don't count 
it's the silent deadly ones 
that leave people in disbelief

Valet Farting

I watched her lift her leg and fart
and said that must be age and heart
But wondered why she needed help
when all that gas was power felt

And thought her sick for just the cause
and yelled at her for what it was
And said I saw her let it go
and wondered if you're nuts or so

And she would

Secrets

I had a good friend who was a Kim
She was really such a bright gem
She taught me that fun
Meant secret farts, no pun
Smelly, though we were young and quite trim





May The Gas Be With You Farts Part 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Chantelle Anne Cooke
September 29, 2021

The Art of Farting

I’m dining with my uncle Bart
And release an SBD fart
My fart stinks like hell
But Bartie can’t tell
Because we’re two meters apart!

(sbd = silent but deadly)

08/06/21

When I Let Loose One In the Elevator

When I let loose
One in the elevator
It was so stink
That the people fainted
Even the elevator
Kept opening and closing
It’s doors, trying to let
The scent out

August 4, 2021

Ferdinetta the Farting Dragon

Ferdinetta the Farting Dragon got her abilities from her Ma.
She usually won her fights, if she didn’t it might be a draw.
Her ability to annihilate her enemies with her potent gas
Is a family secret no one explains, but she’s the super lass.

Her explosions are legendary, her prowess for the stench well told.
The stories are amazing

Farting In Space

A question on everyone's lips, where do farts go in space
Astronauts are propelled into the distance like a rocket without a trace
Others wearing special diapers
Called MAGs* outer space wipers
Though they don't eliminate the odor they do stop the chaos

*Maximum Absorbency Garments

Thoughts of Yore

There's nothing like a pressured toot
to get you out of bed.
The moving sheets, the rustled beat;
of flatulence ahead.

That very sound to wake you up
and start your day off right.
With little push to shake you up
and mark your way in flight.

That everything you go to do
will be as night before.
When all you ate was beans and

A Windy Day On the Isle of Man - With Apologies To Shakespeare For Writing a Sonnet On Farting

It was a windy day on the Isle of Man
(I guess I shouldn’t eat fried beans for tea)
My hubby said ‘Just stop farting Jan’
Please fit a cork where no one can see!

So a cork got inserted where the sun don’t shine
And we went for a long walk by the sea
When a cork whizzed past -

Farting

Farting is a cool poised own vis 
Has safe six-fold gains of wellness  
It may seems cannot -at all- be a vista
Yet, sure it does good to your viscera
It is fine to say to it "be a vis"!
It is all natural healthful process
No need for any sort of prowess 
Laughing because of a sudden

Conflicts and Farting Cows

Plastic is confronting
This planet her with bio war.
I have deduced
earths health is threatened.
Garbage makers who crave flatulent cows
And demand that we should breed them,
So, they can eat them
Why should you be fed cows?

That eat our grass and kill us, and our trees?
Contaminating breezes
Why should you crave cows
with their emitting gasses? –

And you with the big

That's Why I Love Farting - a Gut Wrenching Poem

 I’ve perfected the art
Of withholding a fart
I tighten my buttocks and clench
But when no one is the vicinity
I let rip with a dreadful stench

A silent secret fart released in a confined place
To some folks I guess it’s an utter disgrace
If I fart in a lift
To me it’s a gift
I can leave and I’ll not

Farting Cows - a Taxing Time For Farmers - For Anne Lise

When a Norwegian cow passes gas
They want to tax the gas from its ‘ass’
A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year
Just imagine the stink from its rear!!!!

Thanks for the inspiration Anne Lise ***

Jan Allison 
31st March 2016

Farting Is Always Well

farting sounds or not 
                               it's confirmed passes with smell
               

The Art of Farting

I’ve perfected the art 
Of withholding a fart  
I tighten my buttocks and clench
But when no one is the vicinity
I let rip with a dreadful stench

28th March 2016
Jan Allison

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