Best Farting Poems

When a Norwegian cow passes gas
They want to tax the gas from its ‘ass’
A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year
Just imagine the stink...

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COME ON SOUPER'S LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE FOLK SMILE DURING SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES FOR US ALL. THERE ARE LOTS MORE APT NAMES ...

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A poet - some deem that I’m not
I write about farting and snot
Won’t be driven away
I am here to stay 
Of critics, I don’t give...

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Some numpty bad mouthed my soup style
I’ve taken a break for a while
But I won't be deterred
From writing about turd
And subjects some others deem vile

I’m...

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I post my poems on poetry soup
About farting and guys with brewer’s droop
I’ve been given a crown
And I won’t let Flo down  
Be assured...

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For goodness sake, please stop
farting! I can smell that
foul stench all around our
flat. It stinks like a dead
fish! Small kids find it great
fun to let...

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(WITH APOLOGIES TO SHAKESPEARE)


Oh farting is such a sweet sorrow
“I’m sorry but that’s not my barrow!”
My seatmate’s  nose in the air,
I act dumb and...

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Ted was a professional farter
and at his windy recitals he’d boast
that could even toot Moonlight Sonata
If his wife fed him baked beans on toast!

There was...

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Wind that I pass poisons air with one blow
It stinks to the moon, stays 'til the morrow
Nonchalant, nearly blue, frown on my brow
Don't hold it;...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed...

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#1 
Put the toilet seat down. 
What woman wants to end up falling into the toilet in the middle of the night?

#2 
Stop changing the...

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Another Christmas day is finally here
The very thought fills me with such fear
I have to try and control my old Aunty Mable
Once she hits the...

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What is it 'bout farting
that makes people giggle?
It's simply aroma
that smells like a poop,
and you tell the grandkids
to call it a toot,
while silly Aunt Agnes
thinks...

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Wet Blurting

80 year Ole Francisco, yes he  said,
 off the blinking top of his head,
A bowel fix here today!
Ya know cheese blocks you up...

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A lady with a weak bladder*
Thought nothing could make her madder
But Heaven knows
Her pantyhose
Revealed a soaking-wet ladder! 


*Weight gain stretches bladder muscle causing 
leakage. ...

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