I have always been fantasized about the sky
The rustling wind
how freely it moves with no care
I want to dare
to take a step closer
to break the chains
to run away from the chaos of the world
to somewhere far away
to find freedom from the ground
so that my scars will fade
people will call it suicide
cowardice but who cares?
I am done
for once
just once
I want to be free
I invent the free-will tenets shaping the ego
in the realm of fantasized self-deception.
The stain of murky disdain blemishes my face,
I traverse the slimy ground of cardinal mud.
Life is stifled by the corrupt clutch hidden within,
in penitence I feel the spiteful pangs of pain.
I travel unshackled out of the abyss of despair
on the inward journey through epiphany layers,
perceive in the soul the flush of divine beacon,
lighting the corridor leading to the abode of bliss.
The consciousness compass of the errant mind
finds the illumined introspection path of acuity.
The door of the inner sanctum then opens,
where the lotus blooms with heavenly sheen,
shining the soul with astral glare in deep space
with the flaring brilliance of billion suns.
In my self-searching voyage to eternity
the inner galaxy makes me a living light.
I'm a liar,
I'm not kidding,
I lie to myself, tell myself it'll get better,
I lie to my friends,
To my family,
I'm a liar,
and I'm not proud of it.
I'm crazy,
I'm not kidding,
I've fantasized of doing things to people,
That'll never be spoken of,
I've heard things, do you hear what I hear?
I've seen things, do you see what I see?
I'm crazy,
and I'm not proud of it.
I'm stupid,
I'm not kidding,
I say stupid things, like 6-7,
I do stupid things, like love people,
I have an F- somehow?
I'm stupid,
and I'm not proud of it.
I'm Cheylenn,
I'm not kidding,
I'm non-Bianary,
I'm *****/Demisexual,
I'm stupid, I'm a liar, I'm crazy,
I'm Cheylenn,
and I'm not proud of it.
An unseen lamp hidden in the realm of the mind
someone kindles to light up the dark gaps of thought.
Unperceived, it creates the beams of contemplation,
illumines the concealed pathway of the destined journey.
The paused thoughts create an intricate mental fresco,
the time transcendence makes it ostensibly self-radiant,
enmeshing the soul within the maze of the craving ego
that designs the forlorn corridor for the lonely journey.
As the lamp gets extinguished by the self-created gale,
awareness is lost in the abysmal depth of darkness.
The willful psyche clings to the sense of entrapped self,
getting confined within the bubble of illusion.
The obsessive free-will seemingly dormant,
enwraps the misty mind with an unreal veil,
for the free-rule tenets morph the ego into a trap
in the sphere of the fantasized self-deception.
In the ensnaring realm of fabricated passion
the cage of self-image captures the deceptive being.
As life swings on the cradle of the lingering time,
reflective pause causes the polarity interchange of acuity.
a cruel act in 1972
On our ship in Kingston, came a sick cat
It was riddled with open sores, and it had fleas
No one wanted to touch it
When the ship sailed and the harbor pilot had
gone ashore, I crushed the cat's head on
the railing and threw it into the sea, and ever
since I feel guilty
I have fantasized that the cat was not dead
that it had drifted ashore on a small island
where the little girl found it, nursed it back to
health
When the cat remembers my cruelty, it does
So with fondness, for without my act it would
Have never met the girl.
Contest : J With Four Options
Sponsor : Constance La France
Date : August 9, 2025
The unseen glow of omnipresent divine light
floods my possessed essence, but I don’t perceive,
for I invent free-will tenets shaping ego
in the realm of fantasized self-deception.
The stain of murky disdain blemishes my face,
I traverse the slimy ground of cardinal mud.
Life is stifled by corrupt clutch hidden within,
in penitence I feel the spiteful pangs of pain.
I travel unshackled out of despair abyss
on the journey within through consciousness layers,
perceive in the soul the flush of divine beacon,
lighting the corridor to the abode of bliss.
The ill-conceived venture of the errant mind
finds gloomy dead-end in the introspection path.
That’s when the door of the inner sanctum opens,
where the lotus blooms suffused with heavenly sheen.
The soul shines with astral radiance in deep space
with the flaring brilliance of a billion suns.
In my self-searching voyage to eternity
the inner galaxy makes me a living light.
I Surrender to The Desires of Primal Fire
Penning Words That Have not Yet Been Created
Shuddered By Mocked Phantom Elevations
Rendered Unsated!
Deepened Sense of Tangled Feelings
The Weight of My Dignity
Naked Vulnerabilities Inked
Beyond Intoxicating.
Unyielding Control Demolished by a Dreamy Kiss
Promised Passion Blooms and Ignites
Radiating Fantasized Hope
Breaking Barriers of Destined Bliss!
The self-obsessive free-will seemingly dormant,
envelopes the possessed mind with an illusory veil,
obscures the ordained destination God decides,
l need to reach, for I’m subservient of His will.
The unseen glow of the omnipresent light
floods my possessed essence, but I don’t perceive,
for I formulate the free-rule tenets enslaving the ego
in the realm of fantasized self-deception.
The stain of murky disdain blemishes the spirit,
as I traverse the slimy ground of cardinal indulgence.
Life is stifled by the corrupt clutch hidden within,
in penitence I feel the pernicious pangs of pain.
I travel unshackled out of the dark abyss of anguish,
on the inward journey through layers of consciousness,
perceive in the soul the shine of the spiritual crystal,
radiating in the inner sanctum with divine bliss.
Within the deep space of my godly awareness,
my soul sparkles with the brilliance of sacred sapphire.
In my self-searching odyssey at the edge of eternity
the luster of devout acuity turns me into a living gem.
I kissed a witch one Hallow’s eve
I then intended just to leave
The party hadn’t fit my bill
And yet I stayed against my will
The costumes ran from fun to fright
An eerie green infused the light
When I walked in and saw her face
I fantasized of her embrace
I had not costumed for the rave
Perhaps, I’m simply not that brave
So I wore black and so it seemed
That struck her fancy, her eyes beamed
I kissed a witch and now I know
She was no sham, no bogus show
With one kiss, I was swept away
I knew I’d never felt that way
So when you wander in the night
On Halloween, now you just might
Enjoy my fate, so be aware
Of witches’ kisses, if you dare
A drop of rain rippled down my hair
A drop of blood oozed through my tear
I drenched in thoughts of uncanny fear
I closed my eyes with the vision of a seer
I wished to untrap tragedy behind a cheer
I wished to be a messiah of God
I wished to battle against all odd
I wished to propagate uncynical thought
I wished to cater people in times of need
Like a man of prowess shining in his deed
I opened my eyes to melt the barrier
Between what I am and what if I could have been a savior
All the heroism I portrayed in my fantasized sphere
I wish I could make them real
Like the drop of rain falling on my hair
I was a lttle girl, so wistfully in thought back then.
Wearing a silk kimona, dreams of a sivered, shiny pen.
A special place in my heart, then, suddenly came to be,
Bright pink, soft turquoised robe, quite heavenly.
It was this little girl’s gifted.yummy yet holy solitude,
The blue moon and stars, gave her freedom and latitude.
I had no dreams to grow to be just like everyone on the
planet.
Choosing to be my own shooting star, not run by rules
made of granite!
I fantasized a room of bright, pink floating lotuses about me.
And that personal space, so long ago, lifted me, so I fly freely,
sans approving commentary.
Words do not impress me, but affectionate and soulful, warm
people do.
They are the ones encouraging me to live my life as a moonburst
of satisfying breakthroughs.
4/16/2024
I wondered!
Holding the warm, steaming mug of coffee in my hand.
What surprises awaited me in……
Poetry Soup Land.
I fantasized!
A future with impressive poetry writes.
But realized, that might never be,
It’s not me, and does not sit right.
I accepted!
My simplicity and that works best for me.
I released that which shall never be
Thus took to walk to share my dreams
With the shining,waves of the sea !
I realized.
I was blessed each shining day of my full,
long life.
Most will never see my age, they think,
being young, are free from strife!
I experienced.
More sorrows, pain, joys than
they will possibly ever feel.
And thus keep my poetry forever, quite simple and real.
I lived.
Through the histories they pen,
so eloquently about.
I choose the present, to pen and shout about!
5/25/2024
The self-obsessive free-will ever seemingly dormant,
envelopes the mind with an illusory veil transient,
obscures the decreed destination God ordains,
l need to reach, for I should submissively at His will.
The camouflaged glow of the omnipresent light
floods my possessed quintessence, but I don’t discern,
for I formulate the free-rule tenets enslaving the ego
in the revered realm of fantasized self-deception.
I travel unshackled out of the dark abyss of despair,
on inward journey through the layers of awareness,
perceive in the soul the shimmer of the divine beacon,
lighting up the lane leading to the abode of bliss.
When the ill-conceived endeavor of the migrant mind
finds the dead end dark in the introspective pensive path,
the prime portal of the innate consciousness opens,
where the essence blooms permeated by divine light.
My soul shines with astral radiance in the space within
with the flaring brilliance of thousand suns,
in my self-searching odyssey at the edge of eternity
I’m illumined by heavenly galaxy in the inner sanctum.
On the dock, we took a step into the storm
When wood glades are full of colorful forms,
We were both awed and warm as we spoke
Many of us believe life is a joke
The winter sun sparkled as it set west
Kissing my crying child, I hold it to my breast
We fantasized over a world without ailments
After an exhibition, snap public impalement
Due to the wuthering event, my mood can shift
In a wild sea of turmoil, we felt our lives adrift
I'm retracted by the unexpected rage
Some have died or escaped over the ages
It urges me to be humane to my brittle chunks
Quit obeying bail, leapers, striders, and drunks
I relax when I find my vitality still in my core
Yet I tried and couldn't find any doors
Windy gusts beat the glaze, making it elegant
To execute it in virtually every element
Perusing the Apocrypha in the glow of a fire
Excessive nothingness may render a man a liar
I waited, expecting a spectacular twist.
The ridiculous spike and rope on the wrist.
Written: May 29, 2023
It was the dresser few could have visualized
I spotted it in the flea market as fantasized
Patterns most would have been able to think up or paint
Created by an artesian whose designs are never faint
This dresser had a signature, not any kind of surprise
So marvelously orchestrated it nearly hurt my eyes
It was a gorgeous dresser, which would look great by my bed.
I only paint one of a kind things, the artist apologetically said.
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