Funny Family Poems

My name is Ethel Mary 
And I have to tell you this
I hate it when Aunt Geri
gives a purple garlic kiss!
I hate it when my...

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Thank you….

Thank you for all the memories that you left us to cherish.

I remember when you were first born
I named you Daijon, I called you...

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Umm and Err can never decide
On things to do or places to hide.
Which clothes to put on? What games to play?
What food to eat? They...

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Will Sonsly be there? Maybe
Mental note to self.
Leave checkbook at home.
Make excuses for all next week.

Will Jerillee be there?
Maybe.
Mental note to self.
Leave credit cards at...

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Deer Colette,

Thank u four the sweater. Eye did knot no it wood cost that much. It was hire than eye thought. Eye love it! U...

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Santa Claus is like a Circus Clown
Plus all his Elfs wear a frown
I would rather he be like Krusty 
As he is more trusty 
Bart...

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Moms are nosy
But kind and sweet
sometimes very strict
But you take
Good care of me

Mom I didn't want to
Be the one to tell you
But stop trying to...

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‘Twas the night before Christmas - the family knocked
on the door, then came in... man, I thought it was locked!
They brought me some décor, they...

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Mama's here, little one.
Even when she's not.
Her arms are wrapped around you,
She loves you a lot.

Mama's always by your side,
Even when she can't talk.
When you're...

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The Suitless Santa

Twas the night before Christmas, Jack Daniels and me
Waiting for dear Santa to come down and fill the tree
My cat lay purring and...

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Every year it's the same troop
Who seem to show up in a group
Relations that you never see
But, still they are your family

Gifts are opened, clear...

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Mark's bro' owned a pair of sports cars
Believed fine to ping the girls' bras
     Unwise lad broke the rules
  ...

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TICKLE TICKLE IN MY HEAD


The heart can be merry,
Even if the man is not a jolly,
Gaiety of life appeases yhe heart,
Festals make even the sad...

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Anthony had always been cautious and wise about matters of morality. But
this time, his eyes were dim to matters of reality. That December day was...

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She is funny and smart
Sensitive and caring
I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful heart

She will not be treated unfairly
Carefully, she guards her heart
If you...

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To prove that she just did not care
She tossed all her clothes in the air
Her father would scream
Whilst mum ate ice cream
And the postman sighed,...

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Family is a funny word
It’s meant to mean the world 
But to some its lesser than dirt 
You can choose who you call family
But what...

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Well it all started out as a real good time
Until we're all talking at the same time
Each acting out our own radical behavious
Chaos and confusion...

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Dedicated to a fine poet on soup, Lin Lane
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I shook hands with my brother and bade him farewell
Then set off on my journey away from...

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Please don't kiss Grandma
With your wrinkled worn out skin
Your breath like stinking ashtrays
With an undertone of gin.

I really love you Grandma,
But when it's time to...

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