Funny Family Poems | Examples
These Funny Family poems are examples of Family poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Family Funny poems written by international poets.
(Goldilocks)
One bear - two bears- baby makes three,
Mommy making hot berry tea and brie.
Soup is way too hot,
No sleep on a soft cot.
New home and not needing to flee.
(Little Red Riding hood)
Mommy gave me good advice,
maybe I should have listened twice.
A wolf I did find,
lost my love and mind
Now pregnant paying the price.
(The Three Little Pigs)
We are three of a family kind,
except one got caught in the wind.
One got caught by the fire,
he was in a house fryer.
Wanting new homes space aged designed.
Mother let out a sneeze in the henhouse again
Out of every opening flew a squawking hen
From the drama
Came my mama
Basket of eggs feathers in hair and a sheepish grin
When will I finally fill your shoes,
Reach maturity like you did?
You seemed to have all the answers
When I was just a kid.
I've been waiting a long time now
So maybe I missed my turn,
I'm well past the age you were,
By now I should have learned!
How did you do the adulting, so effortless,
Not overwhelmed or lost?
You juggled a job,a family, and never
Dropped any ball we tossed.
You seemed so fearless, standing tall,
A million arms to answer each call.
All I can think when life comes at me
Is I don't even have half your balls.
My husband is over protective.
Less stress is his doctor's objective.
But with two teens at home,
Always on the damn phone,
"Let go" isn't always effective!
My teen daughter is always respectful.
But with chores she is ever forgetful.
Leaving notes doesn't help,
So I tried Grampas belt,
Now we laugh on the floor as we wrestle!
Too many pets with too many holes!
What goes in them from their cute pet bowls,
Comes out of more than just one,
If I don't clean it's not done,
Making me ill seems to be their goals!
Special child triumphs midst physical zest
Expressing his love with warm gestures’ best
As his hugs and embrace
Reign over wheelchair race
Making him the winner in running test!
In pursuit to be champ in sports fest
Our special son is cheered to the fullest
While siblings with God's grace*
Drive him for success-pace
So, they all receive trophy, feeling blest!
*2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
May 14, 2024
4th place, "A New Funny or Bawdy Limerick Set" Poetry Writing Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin; judged on 5/25/2024
Laughter is the secret to a long and happy life
Try to laugh at yourself is my best advice
Watch a funny movie and watch the chuckles flow
Check out how many times you smile, as you see your children grow
When your friend tells you a joke, respond in a kind with a humorous expression
Laugh with your children at the clowns in the parade procession
Remember those family reunions with their happy times
The family portrait with those great smiles, a gentle reminder that I am entering my prime
Laughter is like a river that can wash away tears
Send it out to everyone, especially those you hold dear
It lowers stress levels, I am sure we would all agree
Let's all send out a big burst of laughter starting with me
Aqua blue sled
Thumpity thump thump thump
Children laugh with glee
Thank heavens for air conditioning
Bumpity bump bump bump
Wheeeee!
Mom mirrors masterpiece The Scream
Declares, “This shall not be forgotten!”
Dad pleads his case,
“But, I put a mattress on the bottom.”
Grandma burns the food and is no cook
She needs to stick to reading a book
Fire covers the turkey
It tastes like beef jerky
Paula brought food we are off the hook
A lovely family outing
on an apple orchard roam
It's not a place for shouting
or for staring at one's phone
The autumn breeze is blowing
and the scenery, divine
if one more text, I'm going
to just make her iPhone mine
If dearest, darling daughter
cannot put her cell away
then into the river water
it may take a dip today
My warnings are not sticking
one more selfie, we might grapple
and with all this Apple Pic’ng
she’s not picked a single apple!
Eddie McGuire made us all groan,
Eddie the eighth (VIII) abdicated the throne.
Eddie "The Eagle" flew through the sky,
Eddie Van Halen made his guitar cry.
Eddies Murphy and Izzard made us all laugh,
Eddie "The Beast" tore a phone book in half.
Eddie "The Head" was a head banger,
Eddie Sheeran has a head like a ranga!
Eddie Mabo toiled for land rights,
Eddie Alvarez got into fights.
So Eddie be proud of your name evermore,
As it's shared with the greats who are mentioned afore.
But be your own Eddie and tread your own path.
Stay humble, grow wise and keep making us laugh!
There was a fruit seller named Schaber
And she was a peculiar neighbor
With kids named Cherry
Apple and Blueberry
Who were all the fruits of her labor
Well sometimes she would drop by
And have a weird look in her eye
But that made us wary
With kids named berry
When she offered us homemade pie
Then one day moved in butcher Pete
Who named his kids after meat
Like T-bone and Chuck
Porky and Buck
So at picnics no one would eat
a-lot-a money
how you run it
doesn’t want her to go
Seen ‘‘em leave
like rookie pro
For years our family has tried to make candied apples.
Most of our valiant attempts have ended up as a disaster.
Mine were always the worst, or the funniest.
Depending on the way you look at things.
I usually choose funny.
My daughter should have been an engineer.
She is all about precision and exactness.
She can create a candied apple that deserves its own billboard.
My husband and I marvel at this ability.
Neither of us fathom where she inherited such a gene.
She must be a throwback.
We invited the new family to Sunday tea.
Who knew they would all tortoises be?
We pretended it was normal, Gram and me.
They did not reach for a single chocolate chip cookie.
Go out and catch some flies, said Auntie Bea.
They like them fresh and alive with their tea.
The way she knew was funny to little old me.
She used to date an old tortoise, you see.
The Girls
Perfumed and groomed,
ribbons in their hair, so fair,
they are beautiful...
to me.
Shorty, she is the clever hound,
that knows how to bring my heart around.
She always leads me into trouble,
but that is really just okay,
even if it were double.
Curly is a wild one,
as her name implies.
She makes me chase
and play...
every day,
and makes me laugh,
in every way.
These are my girls,
they are my ladies' fair.
They are my life,
and sometimes...
in my hair.
(Written for you Dad)