Funny Family Poems

Drawing up a map
It needs a good navigater
Drawing up a budget
It needs figures   systematically
Rolling my eyes in disbelief

The love you have been given
Should...

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Where I come from
It’s dark and quiet
Eleven months of the year
Then one fine day
Everything changes
All of a sudden
It’s bright and snowing
And I come to life
After...

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The Making of Cookies

The lost art of putting, 
flower, sugar, vanilla,
and cream together.
More than small cakes, 
a distance…
far past “home made”, 
to the sheer land...

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Our Christmas Wreath

At the door there is a big ring. 
It is made of pine and has several cones. 
There is one for each member...

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One relative commanders every family meal 
regaling us with stories we have heard
Six thousand times already. 
They might have been interesting or funny at one...

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Bread of Life

His name is known all over the world. 
Some cheer, some do not. 
All will bow in the end. 
It is written. 
It...

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( A Childhood Feast )

Remembering back to Thanksgiving, I`ll never forget those years
Back when I was ten years old, when I never had much fears
Driving...

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They’re sweaty and they’re soupy
Outrageous, and moody
They’re all together fruity
The Phantoms family
Their house is a soup bowl
Where people come to condole
They really are a hell...

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The Fashion Zebra

I am a flake. 
That is the term for people that do not follow through. 
It may not be fair. I have spent...

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The two black and white mini-twins seemed surprised beyond surprised.
Their mouths were open like codfish in the middle of a yell.
These babies were stacked on...

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Some say they from a broken family
I’m not but nowadays its broken anyway
punished when in trouble had to take responsibility 
picked apart by my troubles...

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Walk Around

You laughed with me, 
You walked with me, 
You talked, all night long. 
You took me places, 
You sang funny songs…
You made me smile....

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Hurray, hurray!
It’s a special day.
Grandma’s counting beans. 

Pick the rocks, 
Turn down your socks.
Grandma’s counting beans. 

In the pot, 
That’s what she taught.
One, two and...

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Sitting on the front steps of a long porch
In the middle of the deep south
Little Billy looked up at his drunk dad
Hanging on to every...

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My health is back; I am almost normal
I had been in the bowels of depression
after eight weeks of shingles that took me out and shook...

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Historically and biblically true, first Abraham, Isaac,
Then Jacob, who loved
Joseph, his 11th son more than any other,
He was his beloved.
Joseph would interpret his father’s dreams,
But...

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A gentle touch of lips 
Either on cheeks or lips
Doesn't matter what you call it 
The bliss or honey of lips.

    ...

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The fidgeting lips of hypocrites 
sound the story they couldn’t predict, 
the Hindsight family carry the flame 
that rewinds backwards and assigns blame, 
something achieved...

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Best of show is usually the first photo taken or the last one.
The family photographer took over a hundred and twenty pictures today
using a timer
running...

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His dear wife Daisy, wheelchair-bound

Had a sis who thought him lazy

Perhaps she's glad he's in the ground

For now he's pushing Daisy





* This did NOT place...

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