Funny Family Poems

The baby wears diapers
A 3-year-old thinks they are funny
A frustrated potty-training mommy
A grandmother laughs

The baby grows up
She is driving a car
The parents are not ready
The...

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I'm no good in a kitchen but, I can cook stuff all the same
Around here, say "the recipe" and most folks know my name
It hasn't...

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Tea for two, for me, for you
Buckwheats for three, you, and you, and me
Huckleberries for four, that's what we adore
Spring rolls for five make us...

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   Missing Piece

   There is a piece of me missing. Not sure where to find it. I've looked in my room...

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One night, by the light of the moon,
A little crocodile egg hatched, doom, 
This will make you all wince,
Oz gave him to a little rich...

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sit and listen to the quiet
it's outside the christmas norm
because now, when all is silent
it's the calm before the storm

the kids are upstairs sleeping
you're resting,...

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Husbands, raise your hands
Keep them up if you love your wife
Keep them up if you colour your wifes hair
Okay, this is for the three of...

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Every couple 'a years or so 
Our family reunites
It takes a couple 'a years or so
To recover from the fights

A family like our'n
Doesn't party like...

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You've read my rant from yesterday
About those Christmas Letters
But one thing just disturbs me
Those Ugly Christmas Sweaters!!!

You know the ones we love to hate
They're ...

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Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run

Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of their own
They've...

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Christmas is traditions
some last and others die
some leave you feeling fuzzy
others leave you asking "Why?"
There's rules that must be followed
And most of them we know
About...

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If someone could just flush the loo,
Or pick their pants up - that would do....

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I don't know how it started

But it's an annual event

But I don't think that an egg hunt

Is the best way to present

The story of our...

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This was accidentally written as a common to my buddy, Line.
Yes, THAT Line.
The famous Line.
The one who wins all the contests, and 
we all love...

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Life goes on.


When I found you sat crying, on that park bench,
With the soggy tissue pressed against your nose.
I simply said excuse me and you...

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THE CONTENT FAMILY

Once upon a time, long, long ago in a far away land; in the land where Miss Right lived, there came a young...

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The older I got my youth washed away 
through the frozen waterfalls and cold rocks, 
tripping on moss waiting for the next day.
Nurturing was...

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Look at the loovly garden!
Narry a thorn there scratches.
Look at the loovly birds!
A peeping chick soon hatches.
Look at the loovly house!
Such loovly locks and latches.

A...

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Nothing makes me mutter more than clutter,
It’s the total ruination of my day,
My family, no doubt,
Really LOVE to get stuff out,
But I think they think...

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The National Trust, The National Trust,
A mightier thing than all of us,
A fine institution, a positive force,
For a tenner a month, it can all be...

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