Dumbest Poems | Examples

You Got No Cards

You think you’re riding high, so high falutin’:
the fact is, you’re the dumbest ox in town.
There’s no-one as unfunny as a clown:
reforming is a thing, but you’re just looting.
Repudiating allies while you’re rooting
for enemies will never earn the crown
you crave: and, in advance of sitting down,
you showed your hand. You gave the game to Putin.
Stupidity does not deserve excusing.
It takes a man to take his share of blame,
a thing you’ll never do. You have no shame.
Your hand-picked team are taking drugs and boozing,
already reconciled inside to losing, 
because (like you) they ever knew the game.

We Love Our Dogs

We all love our dogs
They can be really smart
Doing thing we never expected
So many times we say ‘Oh my God’
But, c’mon tell the truth
Our dogs can be the dumbest around
Having trouble remembering their names
Much less any tricks we try to teach
Either way though we will love them
They will be our family forever
Just the way God intended

© Poem – XXVI/I/MMXXV
LRET

What's Dumb

someone who describes something as being dumb ~  not considered a chum

my opponent in a rugby game at the scrum ~ I would overcome

one who is hungry when I've a juicy plum ~ I'd not give up a crumb

message given with the beat of a drum ~ and down pointed is my thumb

deleting that word might appease some ~ but too late to change the outcome

what's dumb, dumber, or dumbest ~ it's not a riddle as you might have guessed

 and now I'll let it go

Never Too Old

My sons are always telling me that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Since I’m older than dirt myself, I guess I’m living proof of that. But just because I know how to do it, doesn’t mean I want to. It's a whole lot easier for me to feign ignorance and stare at them like I’m the dumbest thing alive, while one of you gets the chance to show up their old man. The big question must be, who is it that just got schooled?

                                       All those who can, will
                                 those who don’t want to do it-
                                       Will get it outsourced

playing deaf or plain dumb

the worlds cleverest man once said ~ nothing you fool! he wanted a life 

the dumbest man tried to copy him ~ but he hooked a fishmongers wife 

this story has no moral ~ sometimes silence nets bliss other times strife

The Doctor

He is the man that is everywhere, yet nowhere.
He is the man that is in all of time and space.
The man filled with sadness, guilt, and anger.
The man filled with happiness, love, and understanding.
He is the smartest and the dumbest.
He is protection, he is destruction.
He is loved and he is hated.
He is excitement and adventure.
He is the man you feel safe with, even if you’re dying.
He is the man of a thousand faces.
He is the mad man with a blue box.
And, worst of all, he is the man on the television screen, unreachable.

Clever Clementine

the birds are foul, they always follow the dumbest bird he told me and mine.
One of my children decided to fool the fowl, her name is Clever Clementine.
She put on a beak hat, and pretended to be a bird, of the very interesting kind.
They followed her up and down hills while she laughed and pantomimed.

Lets Throw Snowball At the Owl

Two slow-witted goblins were tricksters who had no fear
They tiptoed up the staircase of a birch tree that was near.

They forgot that owls can gobble you down in a minute.
Their plotting was horribly stupid, no matter how you spin it.

Let’s throw a snowball at that one, the dumbest one said.
Let’s!  Agreed the other, I think his name was Dolt Ed.

The owl was not happy when the snowball hit the back of his head.
And sure enough, within minutes both goblins were dead.

Ethics Class

I gave a lecture to an ethics class
Nearing the middle they walked out en masse
Of course, I felt like the dumbest jackass.
The students, they had not meant to harass,
Although they were quite high on laughing gas
I’d never thought ethics such a morass
In this case, though, I’d fallen on my a**.
I learned this through the candor of a lass
Giving a lecture to an ethics class. 

Written October 31, 2022

Idioms

When the world was youthful
spiderwebs sang as they were spun.
Language was woven in the air
as accents of winds and trees
Untrammeled meadows annunciated
upon the lips of dens and burrows.
Fresh bathed daisies signed a speech
as they swayed,
buttercups birthed calligraphy’s of sunlight.
Words were idioms painted upon
the melodious leafage
of the up-risen and rising.
Then that shaggy brat
the primordial ape-man grunted forth,
translating its gripey gut
through a creaky tongue.
A mouth-made muse had begun.
A nascent poet boldly stood forth
rhyming would with could,
and the dumbest of his tribe
cheered him fit to bust
while the green grown world
shrugged and turned its back
in dismayed disgust.

Polish Limerick-And Then Some

There once was a dumb blonde from Warsaw
'twas the dumbest blonde I ever saw.
She was bound for Krakow
but wound up in Moscow
holding a kielbasa in each paw.

This dumb blonde headed back to Warsaw
without kielbasa in either paw.
Under a chair beneath
she had lost her false teeth
and had to eat sausage through a straw.

written March 15, 2011
I checked the syllable counts in each line myself

Idioms

When the world was youthful
spiderwebs sang as they were spun.
Language was woven in the air
as accents of winds and trees
conveyed by an eloquent sky.
Untrammeled meadows annunciated
upon the lips of dens and burrows
scooped by shrew, mole, and vole. 
Fresh bathed daisies signed a speech
as they swayed, 
buttercups birthed calligraphy’s of sunlight.
Giddy rills gave voice to fritillaries
that flew to the sun or moon.
Words were idioms painted upon
the melodious leafage 
of the up-risen and rising.
Then that shaggy brat
the primordial ape it grunted forth,
translating its gripey gut
through the clack of a creaky tongue.
Guttural and gregarious
it learned to babble and 
belch an oral discordance.
It yapped and yawped,
yawped and yapped
until a spoken language
verbosely pivoted to prolix
polluting the very airy air.
Then it was
that a nascent poet boldly stood
rhyming would with could
until even the dumbest of his tribe
understood
and cheered him fit to bust
while the green grown world
with all its idiomatic kin
lost the will to express
as before
for the fluent earth again.

Give Love a Home

GIVE LOVE A HOME 

If you are lucky enough to find love my son
Cherish and secure it, give it a home

There is no point to grow what you will not own
Know love for love and declare it so

Experience the ecstasy in sharing the world with a companion 
Share thoughts! Share feelings! Share the dumbest opinion 

To lose yourself and find you in the heart of another
To hold hands with someone and create forever 
To feel the pain, the joy, the heartbeat of a lover

Like a blossoming flower grows into a paradise 
Paint a picture of love in your lover's eyes

Welcome the pleasures of love and decorate your life 
Make sweet love in love,  make her your wife

No matter how you roam own a home so dear
Build the home in her arms with delicate care
One you will always belong to,  though far or near

It's All About You Delude

She stalks me, on my profile,
comments most vile,
I think she's in denial,
because after a while,
she tells me to leave her alone!!
Funny I know,
dumbest I've known,
I think her minds blown,
she's got the police on the phone!!
What a delude,
narcissistically rude,
she has a chest like a dude 
and a rear like the moon!!
She gets it out it lights up the room
glorious rays of sun shine through,
I'll say to persons as I conclude,
I never state these poems are about you

The Death of God - and Other Matters

Might sightless worms express surprise 
If evolution gave them eyes
And brains to sport (of larger size)

To grok verse modern poet throws,
Sing, "Rose is rose is rose is rose!"
Snort scentless petals up your nose?"

My mind can't fathom which is worse,
That 'rhyme is dead,' or 'truth's a curse,'
But vanity's become the hearse

That carries all men to their doom
If Trump's not dumbest in the room!
God grant that someone finds a broom

To sweep such 'dog poop' from our floor.
Give "dust" Your Grace to dream of more!
Betrothed! Art's vacuum's paramour?

Pray what "depends" on chicken white,
Though J. C. William's thinks it might.
Who posts immortal's appetite?

Let Poet's truth in brevity
Rub shoulders with infinity,
Help show a path that other's see.

If Servant God's in lost and found
Or bound by rock - well underground,
'Most Rabid Dog's' not worth a pound,

Then poetry, all thought's a loss,
Our current 'Rube' of human dross
Is cube six deep, six down - across!


Brian Johnston
10th of June in 2019

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