Short Dumbest Poems

Why can’t I?  She asked.
Because you belong to me.
Dumbest man ever....

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Just go to search. memb er poetry. "Bad Day at the Eye Doctor's" and it will pop 
up.
This is a true tale, and one of my dumbest stunts....

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Charlie Brown offered his pal Linus
Food that Lucy said was the finest
She said it was Hummus
Charlie you’re the dumbest
Good grief, that stuff came from her sinus


For L&H Limerick contest...

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There once was a dumb blonde from Warsaw
She was the dumbest I ever saw.
She was bound for Krakow
But wound up in Moscow
Holding a kielbasa in each paw.


Who says a limerick has to be Irish?...

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every night i lay down
and try not to make a sound
as i cry and try 
to figure out why
why im crying 
when hes not even caring
i have the dumbest fear 
because hes not near
i hate and condone
being so alone...

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the worlds cleverest man once said ~ nothing you fool! he wanted a life 

the dumbest man tried to copy him ~ but he hooked a fishmongers wife 

this story has no moral ~ sometimes silence nets bliss other times strife 

...

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I told my biggest secret to him,
And then. Hoping I can trust them,
But not sure, that secret is the secret,
To all of my knowledge about the,
Dumbest thing ever invented.
I know I can trust her,
But I’m not too-sure about him,
And the other her....

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the dumbest sports model
an open bottle and an NFL player
especially if they used to be a gator
come on steve spurrier
raise better babies
in my day they
behaved
thats what he would say?no way
cave urban myer
and say you paid marc richt
before i make it stick
knife point style...

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the birds are foul, they always follow the dumbest bird he told me and mine.
One of my children decided to fool the fowl, her name is Clever Clementine.
She put on a beak hat, and pretended to be a bird, of the very interesting kind.
They followed her up and down hills while she laughed and pantomimed....

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HRC and DJT
Spells dumb and dumber to me
DJT and HRC
Which is which, that call ain't easy

HRC
is definitely dumb
Yeah, dumber than most anybody
DJT
is dumb too
Dumber than a Ladedade

A Ladedade
is a simple somebody
who always make you want to hurl
Who's the dumbest,
you make the call
Is it the boy or the girl...

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There aren't many people who understand me.
When  you helped me realize that I have a alife worth living for,
When we fight over the dumbest of things,
When you make up random words to describe things,
I'll miss all that if anything ever happens.

Because no matter what,
You'll always be my bestie. 



~He's an icepoop frozen in the urine of a thousand dead cows~
For Kiki :D...

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There once was a dumb blonde from Warsaw
'twas the dumbest blonde I ever saw.
She was bound for Krakow
but wound up in Moscow
holding a kielbasa in each paw.

This dumb blonde headed back to Warsaw
without kielbasa in either paw.
Under a chair beneath
she had lost her false teeth
and had to eat sausage through a straw.

written March 15, 2011
I checked the syllable counts in each line myself
...

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I gave a lecture to an ethics class
Nearing the middle they walked out en masse
Of course, I felt like the dumbest jackass.
The students, they had not meant to harass,
Although they were quite high on laughing gas
I’d never thought ethics such a morass
In this case, though, I’d fallen on my a**.
I learned this through the candor of a lass
Giving a lecture to an ethics class. 

Written October 31, 2022...

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the dumbest things we were ever taught was to write what we know. What we know is usually dull. Remember when you first wanted to be a writer? Eight or ten years old, reading about thin-lipped heroes flying over mysterious vinyl jungles toward untold wonders? That's what you wanted to write about, about what you didn't know. So…

limitation of 
a poet is limited 
imagination...

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I’ve been so wrong so many times
and for my multifarious crimes
as the kind of man who makes 
the dumbest of all dumb mistakes 
as if for lolly,
have grown accustomed to the folly
of my ways 
and misspent days.
To fall in love, not once or twice
or even thrice, 
but hopefully not more than four
times, means the only thing I’m sure 
of's that the falling in’s
the very sweetest of life’s sins.
And just as well,
‘cos the breaking ups are bloody hell....

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Us humans
The dumbest and most genial creatures on Earth
Having eaten from the forbidden tree of knowledge

I could quite easily write a work of genius
Or likewise perform the dumbest act of all
Yes - I could sit here and imagine that
I could do both in fact
Already enacted one super successfully
The other there is still to do

But lifes a bitch
I am not saying which
The knowledge hangs there in mid air
Like nasal fluid urgently needing to reverse so...
( sniff)...

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Two slow-witted goblins were tricksters who had no fear
They tiptoed up the staircase of a birch tree that was near.

They forgot that owls can gobble you down in a minute.
Their plotting was horribly stupid, no matter how you spin it.

Let’s throw a snowball at that one, the dumbest one said.
Let’s!  Agreed the other, I think his name was Dolt Ed.

The owl was not happy when the snowball hit the back of his head.
And sure enough, within minutes both goblins were dead....

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She stalks me, on my profile,
comments most vile,
I think she's in denial,
because after a while,
she tells me to leave her alone!!
Funny I know,
dumbest I've known,
I think her minds blown,
she's got the police on the phone!!
What a delude,
narcissistically rude,
she has a chest like a dude 
and a rear like the moon!!
She gets it out it lights up the room
glorious rays of sun shine through,
I'll say to persons as I conclude,
I never state these poems are about you...

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Is it true? Can it be? You do not feel the same for me. I thought you loved me, I thought you 
cared; I thought you said you would always be there.

I guess it is true that you have moved on, you found someone to take my place, someone 
you can talk to all night while the world is asleep and I am out of sight.

I miss being the one who made you laugh, even at the dumbest things, I hope one day you 
see my love was always true. I tried to show you every day, but you found someone new....

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