My dog ate my homework,
the teacher heard before.
But this time I’m telling the truth—
I dropped it on the floor.
Right beside his dinner dish,
before I could react,
he chewed it up and swallowed it.
I could not get it back.
Now my homework is gone.
It’s literally no more!
I'm going to tell you a story, I swear its 100% true..
About what happened to my homework, and why it was overdue.
You see my dog ate my homework, oh no! oh gosh!
I stare at it in horror, its been gobbled and squashed.
I've worked hard all week to have my homework done..
I did it all by myself.. with no help from my mum.
No excuse, no reason, it cannot be late..
The punishment detention.. and that I would hate!
Now I must explain to my teacher, OMG! what a fright!
I know he wont beleive me.. but then again.. he might.
But perhaps, my dear teacher, you'll find it quite absurd..
That my dog ate my homework.. every single word.
THE DOG-GED LIE
In a house on a bustling street,
Lived a pup with paws and fur so neat.
His owner, a young lad of just ten,
Made a promise to his furry friend, Ben.
"Dear dog," the boy did solemnly vow,
"I'll confess to my teacher, I swear it now,6
That you munched on my homework, oh so sly,
But please, don't give me that not-guilty eye."
The dog just woofed and wagged his tail,
He knew the boy's plan would surely fail.
But to humor his lazy friend, he played along,
Knowing the outcome would sound all wrong.¹²
The next day at school, in front of the class,
The boy's face turned red, oh what a farce!
"Teacher," he stammered, "I must confess,
My dog ate my homework...oh what a mess!"
The teacher just chuckled and shook her head,
"Nice try, my dear boy," she kindly said.¹8
But the dog at home let out a sly grin,
Knowing he'd never get in trouble for this sin.
And so, the boy and his furry mate,
Shared a phony secret that was so great.
Telling the truth would be tough, so it seem,
The boy & his dog made a fraudulent team.²4
VICK MANUEL POETRY {VMP}
FORM: Rhymes
Copyright ©?January 2024.
My dog ate my homework. Really he did!
‘Cause he's a bad dog and I'm a good kid!
I really love math class and my teacher's a whiz
It's truly not my fault that I flunk every quiz.
‘Cause the new math is funny. It's really a bore.
Since when did a seven become the new four?
But back to my homework ‘cause that’s where I started
It all had begun when my crazy dog farted.
So I ran from the room as though I’d been banished
And when I returned, my homework had vanished!
I did all the problems, really I did!
Remember I told you that I’m a good kid?
So that is my story and I’m sticking to it.
What bright kid like me would want to go through it?
I know that my story is really a wowzer
But just ask my dog and his name is Bowser
Caught red-handed, but he knew what to do!
"The dog ate my homework"' once worked for me too.
But for federal and international crime,
Hardly a kid's assignment, I guess he does not know
that.
Let alone the city he is in, nor the time.
The pretense, the lack of integrity!
Now covered by "oh, he stutters, you know?"
I am insulted by this sham and this elderly ham.
Is that how thick headed an American
He believes I and many others am?
10/20/2020
Opus #4
The house is a wreck,
and I'm sorry I'm late.
The cats are all grounded,
because one of them ate -
Oh no!! My homework!
The cat ate my homework.
Which one? I know not.
I have forty two, Miss,
and all of them have been taught.
Taught what?
To know right from wrong, Miss.
I now think the dog did it.
Oh no, my candy!
The dog knocked them down.
My cats don't like wrong, Miss,
and they knocked down the dog.
The dog ate my homework, he was very mad.
For he was hungry, he was not fed.
I tried to make him give it to me,
but give he did not.
I pulled and I pulled,
but I crashed into the cactus.
The house is a wreck,
and I'm sorry I'm late,
the cats aren't grounded,
because none of them ate
my homework.
In conclusion, Miss, It was the dog!
The dog ate my homework
When I turned around
My humor was stolen
By a circus clown
I was abducted by aliens
Is the reason I'm late
To pick you up
For our dinner date
I dropped the ball
With the sun in my eyes
Are a few of the excuses
And the reason why
I either do or I don't
Do the things that I do
So I'll stick with them all
As my excuse
I must have forgot
There was a time change
As my clock stopped
On the very same day
I lost my wallet
With your number inside
This would be the truth
If it wasn't a lie
I ran out of gas
So I had to hitchhike
I made a left
Instead of a right
I either do or I don't
Do the things that I do
So I'll stick with them all
As my excuse
I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!
My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!
My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!
You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...
My dog ate my homework
He doesn't know what he's done
He's forced me to defend myself with what is essentially a pun
I asked him why'd he do it He started licking his butt
It angered me more this non-explanation for my rut
I yelled at him fiercely coupled with a mean stare
He cocked up his leg and peed on the chair
I asked him hadn't I always given him chicken soup for the soul
He barked at me once then pushed forward his bowl
I told him this was unacceptable behavior and I would not put up with this crap
He jumped up on my sofa undeterred and settled in for his mid-morning nap
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