Getting hard to hide here,
Wanting to fully disappear,
Anxiety has got a chokehold,
This demon has gotten bold,
Talon's buried deep into me,
Try to run but cannot flee,
Each struggle darkness embeds,
Pulling heavy burden sleds,
Ground has turned to tar,
Unable move forward far,
Strain becomes to heavy to bare,
Chokehold's now stopped my air,
Gotten to hard to hide here,
I'll never fully disappear.
I want to disappear
Into the fluffy clouds,
Unafraid to fall,
Unafraid to go astray.
I want to disappear
Into the vast oceans,
Unafraid to drown,
Unafraid to fade away.
I want to disappear
Into the towering mountains,
Unafraid to stumble,
Unafraid to lose my way.
I want to disappear
Into nature's endless beauty
To look at them once,
To look at them twice,
To look at the forever,
And still smile.
20/12/24
I want to lose myself in everything I love
This is my longing for ubiquitousness
my immortality , my selfishness
I live with this heart ,this mind so scattered is it not ok to give those pieces away
Let me fill in whatever blank spaces can be found
This way I'll never disappear
Missing Girl?
They have a child, a little girl
A special gift a diamond a pearl
The left her alone so they could play
They find her dead the next day.
Fake the scene, make it safe
Make it clean. Call the law
When there’s no incrimination
Spend a few hours down the
Station, blame the phantom
Who doesn’t exist. Form a charity
A fantasy of family bliss.
Involve the world to change
The narrative, they know she
Is dead, crocodile tears, inventive
Ask them a question and
And they scatter the blame
They are believed, bare no shame
What really occurred?
Well work it out.
Not a kidnapping
Just mystery and doubt.
David Cox 15/09/24
From quantum whispers,
a universe awakens.
A birth in stellar nurseries,
where light ignites.
Appearance and disappearance,
a dance of creation,
a cosmic ballet,
everlasting and fleeting.
Invisible to our limited sight,
a mystery in swirling existence.
Permanent yet ephemeral,
a cosmic puzzle,
beyond our grasp.
What traces remain?
when the stars fade away?
when galaxies collapse?
Are they truly gone,
or merely transformed?
Hidden in spacetime’s weave,
in the universe’s memory.
Appearance and disappearance,
teachers of impermanence,
choreographers of existence.
You are the heartbeat
of the cosmic symphony.
You are reality’s breath,
ever-present,
always shifting.
When you write poems,
there will always be people reading them and reflecting.
Don't worry if you haven't got comments or many people who have seen it yet.
By writing your brain processes the situations again and again, what you might interpret as overthinking, since sometimes you might talk about these much more often suddenly or dream, even though it was 1,2,3 or more years ago..
I call it healing.
It's a protective mechanism.
When you write and write, you might sometimes be sad that you are still not over something even though you have written it.
People say it's therapy isn't it? And that you might get over them like that much more quickly.
When you write, you might start write plenty about the same subject and that's okay.
Since like that you will get more mature and know that being mad at the person still is not the answer.
That the answer is to not pay attention to them anymore.
First my eyes couldn't do anything than look at them,
but now my eyes don't bother it anymore.
Even me going to the restroom is much more important than him.
Scars don't go away
mental pain is depression
I live with daily
,,Just don't look, focus on something else", my therapist said.
I stopped: ,,What should I do?"
,,Do the hobbies you like, what do you like to do?"
,,Boxing"
,,Then go boxing, your thoughts disappear"
,,Nothing just disappears"
,,What?"
,,No, thanks I understood"
And the communication was really just passing a minute, after I left the *entry* room.
Since I skipped all with just nodding all along the talking she did.
While I...
I can't remember, I just was not thinking anything at all really.
Looking in all places were there was nothing to watch for.
My vision got blurry after staring minutes which I didn't caught.
My Training room was unlocking.
,,Why are you all lazy right now, come! Punch!", my eyes were sweating.
I took my boxinggloves and Band off, but what should protect my knuckles, so I don't break any.
My arms and legs Set off, i was feeling insects running through my body.
I couldn't fight anymore, I was tired.
But then you popped in my mind.
Suddenly I could punch, and even though my hands were bleeding I loved the Look.
The way I was still trying to push myself forward.
I didn't wanted to stop.
Now I understood what she meant.
Chicago skyline will be wiped off the belly of the earth tonight.
Take photos now, for you will never again see this sight.
Tourists took out their Brownies and snapped quickly away.
I like to frighten them sometimes, especially on a Friday.
Forgotten faces, once relinquished
Appear in memory again
I can’t recall a name, distinguish
Their voices every now and then
They speak of anything forlorn
Why does it happen in my head?
Those faces I thought long time gone
Remind me that they aren’t dead
Fam faces I didn’t mean to find
They use me now – what for?
Discourteously unlock my mind
Quite like a cellar door
They tell old jokes, deride and sneer
I wonder why on earth
They come, until they disappear
As if wiped off by cloth
Forgotten memory lives on
It doesn’t bound with me
And either I do not belong
To memory that’s free
But it reminds me by caprice
That once my life was long
When I was green, just like those trees
You see behind tombstone
Extremely overwhelming enthusiasm,
with life depressing sarcasm.
Nihilism at its finest,
I forgot what's the feeling of best.
The more life goes further,
The more it gets darker.
What's the point in you and me,
When at the end of the day we are just gonna flee.
When I walk through the crowd,
I can only hear myself aloud.
I am deeply frozen and done,
Maybe I am the chosen one.
Nothing feels familiar,
Not even the nature with it's beautiful glacier.
As I pass by the creatures belonging to earth as said,
Within their emotion and commotion, I just wish to fade.
Extremely overwhelming enthusiasm,
with life depressing sarcasm.
Nihilism at its finest,
I forgot what's the feeling of best.
The more life goes further,
The more it gets darker.
What's the point in you and me,
When at the end of the day we are just gonna flee.
When I walk through the crowd,
I can only hear myself aloud.
I am deeply frozen and done,
Maybe I am the chosen one.
Nothing feels familiar,
Not even the nature with it's beautiful glacier.
As I pass by the creatures belonging to earth as said,
Within their emotion and commotion, I just wish to fade.
my downfall was near
what has been my biggest fear
money did disappear
Chicago skyline will be wiped off the belly of the earth tonight.
Take photos now, for you will never again see this sight.
Tourists took out their Brownies and snapped quickly away.
I like to frighten them sometimes, especially on a Friday.
I get a tiny text from you.
I do remember emails.
Before those, phone conversations.
And prior to those we'd meet.
Sit for hours with coffee, tea, wine, chat.
Chats appeared to go on and on and on.
Remember those times,
the chat, wine, tea, coffee?
Then the phone calls we shared?
And then some emails,
before the occasional text?
Texts may not go on.
(23 Oct 2023)
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