I was sitting in sub-zero temperatures in the Northern Arctic
As one does when you're a Swedish spy
Caught between conflicting ethical codes...
Stuck in my tent I stumbled upon a poem
Pondering the experience of Hot British Tea.
The poem was long and decorous with adjectives.
My lips were stuck and frosted together in parts
As I murmured along with teeth chattering
With the rhythm of an African cheetah.
Though the words buttered into my soul.
"Steep," "simmering," "piping," and "warming"
Warmed my innards and radiated outward,
The imagination muscling forth the reality.
"SNIP!"
"SNIP!"
"SNIP!"
Crikey. Long-ranged silencers. I've been found.
(Hungarians.)
"SNIP!"
"SNIP!"
Cold milk and a couple
Chewy Macaroons or
Chocolate Chip. Maybe
Cherry Thumbprints and then
Crispy Florentines, or
Caramel Biscotti?
Crikey! I'll take them all!
From little Burke street; to Narramine. in Coonamble and
Kempsey I've spent some time, worked on Longreach
Station Barcaldine way, I know Rhee Chong Hyup... He was
My trainer.' The early days.' I've followed the Murray and the
Bidgiee too.' Now I'm too be found in London..Yet the dreaming holds true.' I still see apricot auras entwined with lava
Red' such smouldering sunsets, are still, in my mind' i took
My driving test just standing on a path.' That was in Young wow' some time has passed.? And now I see the devil is real.' I
Have met the Lord.' And the present is?? Well almost unreal.' Digital transactions with a hand held device photos
Taken.. And Crikey the vice.' The line between dimensions
Is i find now blurred.' And my country is bleeding under taskmasters so absurd.' I seek no fortune..I ask not for
Fame.' Yet the hour has drawn me and as for blame.' I am
As guilty as any.' And the mental fight now is so hard.'
Yet i am on my feet fellow Aussies.' Though most unworthy! if you will accept me? I am forever
Your bard.!
Feel some silliness coming on
But why am I not surprised
It's who I am, a jester by trade
But a harmless kind of a guy
If you're expecting tear jerking stuff
You'd be outta luck my mate
Recently been posting lotsa giggles
Get outta town 'fore it's too late
Beat it or you'll be seriously addicted
It'll surely take over your psyche
Click somewhere else, take my advice
It's never too late, by crikey
But if you do happen to get addicted
An emergency line you can call
Is “Giggles Anonymous” look it up
Free for you poets all
Why do I get lumbered with a nutcase on the bus?
I’m craving peace and quiet, so I won’t make a fuss.
But I don’t want to hear about his toenail collection,
or that he must take Viagra to maintain his ********!
Oh crikey, he doesn’t need it - he’s ‘rising’ in his seat,
and making lewd suggestions I’d better not repeat!
I gather up my shopping and make a false excuse,
I’d forgotten to get cat food for my pussy Bruce.
So I make a hasty exit, although it’s not my stop,
I’m in dire need of Valium from the chemist shop!
Next time I travel on the bus, I’ll feign I’m fast asleep,
and pray I’m not joined by any foul mouthed creep!
Crikey mates, I don't know what to make?
I'm pretty sure this platty; has a tummy ache
Puddin begged his friends for relief and aid;
Perhaps it was the worm stew; or shrimp cocktail he had made?
No matter what it was; in his belly, the price was being paid
Koala, and Roo good friends that they are, came to render assistance
But first; they sequestered the iPad from Roos, Joey, with much resistance
"It says here you're a mammal." Koala read from the screen
We should find the answers in no time; to why your tum tum, is being so mean
Roo asked him directly; "What have you eaten this fine day?"
To which the platty replied; with a shrug, "Whatever gets in my way"
When at that very moment, Koala's jaw began to drop!
Which took longer; then a three toe sloth, to reach full stop
Puddin, "You can't have something that you don't possess"
Your insides are without a stomach; a one-way food poo, express!
World wildlife fund ostensibily for fauna.'
Yet could it gather money? Thats being shorn
Of Folks untowardly? not being fully inforned.?
The ads look so W E F like.? One point that strikes.'
What if the WEF WHO WWF are holding in spikes?
Of real truth.? Crikey..Yikes.! Masking of truth?
Could they be in cahoots? Does the cash back brute?
Force In sublte means using mamnals torture appeal ?
Though it may sound surreal' i think it worth question
For the whole worlds digestion ' are they in cahoots?
Fund of mass weapons of destruction; to deadly shoots.?
D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what
Wonder who made them a walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot
Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't infallible
Jump at any chance to prove these guys wrong
To be right every time is impossible
Engaging these people in normal conversation
Is frustrating and hard on the psyche
You wanna shout and yell naughty words
And physically harm them, by crikey
Best thing to do is just try to remain calm
Dispute everything they're saying
Drives them batty and they blow their stack
As around the issue you go skating
A naughty and devious man I am
Get a chuckle out of seeing 'em rage
Sure serves 'em right for being so arrogant
Must be the attention they crave
Feel some silliness coming on
But why am I so surprised
It's who I am, a jester by trade
Just a harmless kind of a guy
If you're expecting tear jerking stuff
You'd be outta luck my mate
Usually post nothing but giggles
Get outta town fore it's too late
Beat it or you'll be seriously addicted
It'll surely take over your psyche
Click somewhere else, take my advice
It's never too late, by crikey
But if you do happen to get addicted
An emergency line you can call
Is “Giggles Anonymous” look it up
Free for you poets all
It was a call to action that we preserve
the oceans and continents he crossed -
to champion, protect, cherish and conserve
but alas now to that caution he is lost!
He was in large life a force of nature
and in injured death a martyr to the cause.
Leaping madly on some croc or gator
wrestling its mighty ancient tail and jaws.
If it swam or crawled or stung or bit
he lived and breathed his animal spirit.
Mate, if ever I see a ghost in khaki
I’ll muse of one man and yell “Crikey!”.
He loved the bush and desert and sea
and forest creatures gentled or fierce,
but diving in the ocean wild and free
a stingray’s barb did his heart pierce.
In Beerwah he learnt to climb and crouch
when the kid Croc Hunter grew as a child,
and returned a sick joey to its pouch
and learned to love the demon crocodile.
If it swam or crawled or stung or bit
he lived and breathed his animal spirit.
Mate, if ever I see a ghost in khaki
I’ll muse of one man and yell “Crikey!”.
Written: October 2006
D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what?
Wonder who made them this walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot
Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't infallible
Jump at any chance to prove these guys wrong
To be right every time is impossible
Engaging these people in normal conversation
Is frustrating and hard on the psyche
You wanna scream and yell naughty words
And physically harm them, by crikey
Best thing to do is just try to remain calm
Dispute everything they are saying
Drives them batty and they blow their stack
As around the issue you go skating
A naughty and devious man I am
Get a chuckle out of seeing 'em rage
Sure serves 'em right for being so arrogant
Must be the attention they crave!
Crikey! Its already Friday!
So its fish & pumpkin pie day
And they go together
Like Hurricane weather
School Kids call it Breathe & Die day
[Inspired by ‘Stating The Obvious’
Contest but doesn’t meet the spec]
Millionaire, Bartholomew Fairfax
Admitted today, he ‘forgot’ to pay tax
Goodness gracious, well I never
Knock me over with a feather
Who’d have thought it
Pull the other one
And this from his latest press release
The girl on his arm was not his niece
You’re kidding, no way
No sh1t Sherlock, you don’t say
Tell me something I don’t know
Shut the front door, I’ll be blowed
His jewel bedecked wife in her large golden carriage
Is backing her man for the sake of their marriage
Who’d have guessed it, Gosh, who knew
Crikey, Get away with you,
Well I’m gobsmacked,
I was not born yesterday
Still to come in The News tonight
Two youths in a pub have been in a fight
And the final result in formula one...
The man in the fastest car has won
Goodness gracious, well I never
Knock me over with a feather
Who’d have thought it
Pull the other one
They say no two snowflakes are ever alike
Seems like radical thinking invading my psych
A number innumerable
Larger than imaginable
Someone's trying to mess with me by crikey
Never thought I'd be cheering for an iguana but I did
Snakes on Madagascar don't play fair, they're hypocrites
Look cute, by crikey
But really, gorblimey
Ain't the nicest of serpents, eat iguanas and their kids
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.