No Sh1t Sherlock

[Inspired by ‘Stating The Obvious’ Contest but doesn’t meet the spec] Millionaire, Bartholomew Fairfax Admitted today, he ‘forgot’ to pay tax Goodness gracious, well I never Knock me over with a feather Who’d have thought it Pull the other one And this from his latest press release The girl on his arm was not his niece You’re kidding, no way No sh1t Sherlock, you don’t say Tell me something I don’t know Shut the front door, I’ll be blowed His jewel bedecked wife in her large golden carriage Is backing her man for the sake of their marriage Who’d have guessed it, Gosh, who knew Crikey, Get away with you, Well I’m gobsmacked, I was not born yesterday Still to come in The News tonight Two youths in a pub have been in a fight And the final result in formula one... The man in the fastest car has won Goodness gracious, well I never Knock me over with a feather Who’d have thought it Pull the other one