Long Crikey Poems
Long Crikey Poems. Below are the most popular long Crikey by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Crikey poems by poem length and keyword.
“What is it?” said Raisin. Rum said, “I don’t know,
Let’s find us a hill and watch that thing go.”
Walnut said, “Hold up; I’ve seen one of these,
It looks like a wheel, but it is, in fact, cheese.”
“It’s normally cut into portions to sell
Whoever mislaid it will be mad as hell.”
Rum said, “Are you saying this thing is food,
It don’t smell like something that I ever chewed.”
Raisin was tentative, sniffing it quick,
“Crikey, it’s putrid… I wanna be sick.”
Walnut said, “Mum and dad love it… I’m in.”
He bit off a chunk and bits stuck to his chin.
His eyes soon glazed over, and poor Walnut cringed
“That stuff really packs quite a punch,” Walnut whinged
He tried to suck cheese from his gums and he slobbered.
“Boy that stuff’s sticky, my taste buds are clobbered"”
A man in a chef’s hat and curled up moustache
Came up and bellowed, “C’est Mon fromage!”
Walnut said, “I think he’s after our cheese.”
And Rum said, “For heaven’s sake, give him it…PLEASE!”
The chef headed off with the cheese he’d mislaid
While Walnut was praying the bad taste would fade
Both Rum and Raisin had covered their noses
Rum said, “You sure ain’t a bouquet of roses.”
And so they walked home and at Raisin’s insistence
Walnut was made to walk at quite a distance
Rum said, “If anyone stands in our way,
Your foul, rotten-egg breath will keep them at bay.”
And so as they walked, ally cats let them be
A woodpecker squawked and fell out of a tree
A tree surgeon gagged and he might well have fled
But the branch he’d been sawing fell down on his head
A man on a bike steered it into a brook
Pedestrians went to help out or just look
They all jumped as one for the impulse was strong
The brook seemed a good place to hide from the pong
Once home, Walnut, Raisin and Rum had a doze
Then woke to the sound of their mum’s sniffy nose
She was knelt with her head in the washing machine…
“There’s rancid socks somewhere… the stench is obscene!”
Crikey mates, I don't know what to make?
I'm pretty sure this platty; has a tummy ache
Puddin begged his friends for relief and aid;
Perhaps it was the worm stew; or shrimp cocktail he had made?
No matter what it was; in his belly, the price was being paid
Koala, and Roo good friends that they are, came to render assistance
But first; they sequestered the iPad from Roos, Joey, with much resistance
"It says here you're a mammal." Koala read from the screen
We should find the answers in no time; to why your tum tum, is being so mean
Roo asked him directly; "What have you eaten this fine day?"
To which the platty replied; with a shrug, "Whatever gets in my way"
When at that very moment, Koala's jaw began to drop!
Which took longer; then a three toe sloth, to reach full stop
Puddin, "You can't have something that you don't possess"
Your insides are without a stomach; a one-way food poo, express!
I was in love with the most lovable sheila
but she did darn take off with me heeler
Overnight, she had packnd their bags
not just me dog, gone too with me scallywags
Left with just a simple note
she had found a more loving bloke
Heartbroken to have lost them all
I gave me mate Bluey a call
Together we drank more than just a slab
ending up so hammered, he had to call us a cab
As the lonely days passed and tears filled me eyes
by crikey it hit me, suddenly I came to realise
What a bloomin idiot, she deserved such love and respect
every night boozin with me mates, my true love I did neglect
I'm gunna cut out me drinkin and win her heart back
fair dinkum fella's, you can flamin bet on that!
[Inspired by ‘Stating The Obvious’
Contest but doesn’t meet the spec]
Millionaire, Bartholomew Fairfax
Admitted today, he ‘forgot’ to pay tax
Goodness gracious, well I never
Knock me over with a feather
Who’d have thought it
Pull the other one
And this from his latest press release
The girl on his arm was not his niece
You’re kidding, no way
No sh1t Sherlock, you don’t say
Tell me something I don’t know
Shut the front door, I’ll be blowed
His jewel bedecked wife in her large golden carriage
Is backing her man for the sake of their marriage
Who’d have guessed it, Gosh, who knew
Crikey, Get away with you,
Well I’m gobsmacked,
I was not born yesterday
Still to come in The News tonight
Two youths in a pub have been in a fight
And the final result in formula one...
The man in the fastest car has won
Goodness gracious, well I never
Knock me over with a feather
Who’d have thought it
Pull the other one
D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what
Wonder who made them a walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot
Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't infallible
Jump at any chance to prove these guys wrong
To be right every time is impossible
Engaging these people in normal conversation
Is frustrating and hard on the psyche
You wanna shout and yell naughty words
And physically harm them, by crikey
Best thing to do is just try to remain calm
Dispute everything they're saying
Drives them batty and they blow their stack
As around the issue you go skating
A naughty and devious man I am
Get a chuckle out of seeing 'em rage
Sure serves 'em right for being so arrogant
Must be the attention they crave
I was sitting in sub-zero temperatures in the Northern Arctic
As one does when you're a Swedish spy
Caught between conflicting ethical codes...
Stuck in my tent I stumbled upon a poem
Pondering the experience of Hot British Tea.
The poem was long and decorous with adjectives.
My lips were stuck and frosted together in parts
As I murmured along with teeth chattering
With the rhythm of an African cheetah.
Though the words buttered into my soul.
"Steep," "simmering," "piping," and "warming"
Warmed my innards and radiated outward,
The imagination muscling forth the reality.
"SNIP!"
"SNIP!"
"SNIP!"
Crikey. Long-ranged silencers. I've been found.
(Hungarians.)
"SNIP!"
"SNIP!"
In the land of Oz, we're all fair dinkum,
Every bloke, Sheila and Healer too.
By crikey mate, if you get us started,
You'll regret the day I guarantee you.
In bonza days some may call hard yakka,
With an esky chockers and a barbie that blares.
Strewth! I tell you even our bogans are grouse,
Where else can you find platypodes and Koala Bears?
So spend an arvo or two and don't be a bludger,
Smoke a durry and blow the froth off a few.
You'll be saying "Man, that was a bloody ripper",
So get off your dunny and tell a furphy or two!
If you're thinkin' of comin' over, but not too sure,
Just have a go, ya mug, you may just find.
The best place to go walkabout and make new friends,
But don't be a goose and leave your goon bag behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We're as Aussie as "You Beaut",
We're as Aussie as the Holden ute.
We're as Aussie as a kangaroo,
We're as Aussie as we're "True Blue".
From little Burke street; to Narramine. in Coonamble and
Kempsey I've spent some time, worked on Longreach
Station Barcaldine way, I know Rhee Chong Hyup... He was
My trainer.' The early days.' I've followed the Murray and the
Bidgiee too.' Now I'm too be found in London..Yet the dreaming holds true.' I still see apricot auras entwined with lava
Red' such smouldering sunsets, are still, in my mind' i took
My driving test just standing on a path.' That was in Young wow' some time has passed.? And now I see the devil is real.' I
Have met the Lord.' And the present is?? Well almost unreal.' Digital transactions with a hand held device photos
Taken.. And Crikey the vice.' The line between dimensions
Is i find now blurred.' And my country is bleeding under taskmasters so absurd.' I seek no fortune..I ask not for
Fame.' Yet the hour has drawn me and as for blame.' I am
As guilty as any.' And the mental fight now is so hard.'
Yet i am on my feet fellow Aussies.' Though most unworthy! if you will accept me? I am forever
Your bard.!
D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what?
Wonder who made them this walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot
Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't infallible
Jump at any chance to prove these guys wrong
To be right every time is impossible
Engaging these people in normal conversation
Is frustrating and hard on the psyche
You wanna scream and yell naughty words
And physically harm them, by crikey
Best thing to do is just try to remain calm
Dispute everything they are saying
Drives them batty and they blow their stack
As around the issue you go skating
A naughty and devious man I am
Get a chuckle out of seeing 'em rage
Sure serves 'em right for being so arrogant
Must be the attention they crave!
D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what?
Wonder who made them this walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot
Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't infallible
Jump at any chance to prove these guys wrong
To be right every time is impossible
Engaging these people in normal conversation
Is frustrating and hard on the psyche
You wanna scream and yell naughty words
And physically harm them, by crikey
Best thing to do is just try to remain calm
Dispute everything they are saying
Drives them batty and they blow their stack
As around the issue you go skating
A naughty and devious man I am
Get a chuckle out of seeing 'em rage
Sure serves 'em right for being so arrogant
Must be the attention they crave!
©Jack Ellison 2013