Long Crikey Poems

Large And Tall, Medium Tan Brown  Skinny Girl---



          so cute               ...

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Me real name it is Bill Vonbertouche,	
but for short most folk just call me Bill.
Me Mum and Dad say I’m real smart,	
but the girls reckon I’m just a dill.	

But let’s just get this one thing...

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No Eden here, for there’s no snake;
There’s just a thief who likes to take 
The labors of all our hard work.
My blood is boiling, half berserk
Near stripped of reason, one thing’s clear:
I’m settling the score...

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One Saturday some years ago, at a market in Rokeby,
a voice was calling from behind and then caught up with me.
It was Shaun O’Malley at the rear that stopped me for a chat,
dressed in a...

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thought:
     ever so pink   
     extremely fluffy    
    rather intelligent      
   positively...

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‘Davo’ rang me up, ‘bout a month ago,
		To travel with him on a trip,
		Way up north to Glenora station,
		So he can search through Harry’s tip.
		‘Davo’ you see has a hobby,
		Collecting bottles, some worth more than...

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Once there was dingo, rabidly mad as he could be
who thought he was a Bruce of a man by how he spoke
But no man would call him their 'mate,' for you see...
he was a mongrel...

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Plenty of room in « Le Foot »* for Soccer
     For Doug Vinson at PoetrySoup.com
                ...

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Alice plummets down the hole, a fallin’ to no end,
She mumbles to herself these words, for she’s without a friend:
   >>Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do bats eat cats?<<
Words which...

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Bored out of my skull in my hospital bed
You’ll be here for Christmas, the consultant said
What happened next made me bubbly as Fanta
Two nurses came in, they were dressed up as Santa

My blood pressure took...

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I spent my adolescence writing lots of teenage angst
through poetry, and stuck with it, despite it being pants.
I’ve been to Open Mic nights, and risen through the ranks.
I don’t get heckled quite so much, and...

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From little Burke street; to Narramine. in Coonamble and
Kempsey I've spent some time, worked on Longreach
Station Barcaldine way, I know Rhee Chong Hyup... He was
My trainer.' The early days.' I've followed the Murray and the
Bidgiee...

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[Inspired by ‘Stating The Obvious’
Contest but doesn’t meet the spec]


Millionaire, Bartholomew Fairfax
Admitted today, he ‘forgot’ to pay tax

Goodness gracious, well I never
Knock me over with a feather
Who’d have thought it
Pull the other one

And this from...

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In the land of Oz, we're all fair dinkum,
Every bloke, Sheila and Healer too.
By crikey mate, if you get us started,
You'll regret the day I guarantee you.

In bonza days some may call hard yakka,
With an...

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Maralinga, Maralinga,
 where the white mans fire still burns,
Where atomic radiation made the little creatures squirm,
Where walked old Nooran Gurra with the Emu fella dance,
Where the bloody fire an brimstone didn't give em any chance,
...

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Crikey mates, I don't know what to make?
I'm pretty sure this platty; has a tummy ache
Puddin begged his friends for relief and aid;
Perhaps it was the worm stew; or shrimp cocktail he had made?
No matter...

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Tube Ambition

I wanna be one under,
I bin' thinkin' it's the safest bet;
I haven't the skill to get any thrill,
From being on this planet.

Yea, I done tole me Ma,
She said "yor jes like yor Da";
"He went...

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Got too much love, it's bursting out
Never have felt so much passion
Every woman that I pass on the street
I ask if they're looking for action

Got bruises all over my face and body
Coz some don't find...

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D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what?
Wonder who made them this walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot

Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't...

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D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what?
Wonder who made them this walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot

Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't...

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D'ya know any people who are always right
Are they annoying creatures or what
Wonder who made them a walking thesaurus
They sure make my blood run hot

Love to poke holes in what they're saying
Proving that they ain't...

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In our close circle of friends and family
I've been known as old Poppa Jack
Really like it, I can feel all the love
What I give comes bouncing right back

Always been known to love the whole world
Enemies?...

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The weather's cold and rainy but there's joy in my heart
It all comes down to my psyche
If you will it to be, things will always wind up happy
No matter how you feel, by crikey

Time heals...

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I was in love with the most lovable sheila
but she did darn take off with me heeler
Overnight, she had packnd their bags
not just me dog, gone too with me scallywags
Left with just a simple note
she...

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Corona Crisis 
viral virus 
no immunity no vaccine watch the community start collapsing 
people dying 
people lying 

I’m suspicious of the timing 
Brexit Trump forgotten items 
pandemic dread a new horizon 
governments all left advising...

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