Thoughts and memories,
Of things I hold dear,
My sister my mother,
Father I love you, wish I was near.
Inside I quiver,
The tears come and go,
Hospital to hospital,
With the doctors that know.
Congestive fluid buildup,
Heart not keeping with the need,
Failure will be imminent,
Scares me to my knees.
Me I wish I could be helpful,
On this journey you are on,
The moments shared together,
Inside I'll always be fond.
Beware the catch 22
You're damned if you don't, and damned if you do.
Take a drug so cancer won't restart
Side effects give you a congestive heart
Thin the blood so a stroke won't begin,
Internal bleeding and you just can't win.
I got a wolf by the ears
Can't bite me yet, but I'm shedding tears.
When I let go, he'll take a bite
I'm losing my grip, I'm turning white.
You're sorry for those single Mothers
Didn't have husbands, just "significant others"
So you subsidize them with taxpayer billions:
Now more on welfare, about six millions.
You need the cops to pursue a story, to prove you're not mad
But the story is extreme, so no investigation will be had.
Between a rock and a hard place, you're stuck in a bind
I don't blame you for going out of your mind.
You need experience to get a job, but there's a Catch22
Without a job, can't get experience, so what can you do?
Life writes riddles that are hard to circumvent
The path you thought was straight was crooked and bent.
Turn to the left and the trouble grows,
Turn to the right and the same wind blows.
So you laugh a little, though you really feel blue:
That's the strange world of Catch-22.
From fast food Trump chooses to eat
Congestive heart failure’s his treat
We’ll wince as this slob
Grows more like the blob
With gross swollen ankles and feet
Saltine crackers have become my worst enemy
Add that to my rapidly-growing list of “do-not-eats”
Along with many common foods I considered treats
Salt, sugar, and fats, in general, are my archenemy.
Sorry, Barbara Bush,* you did not heed good advice
And lived it up with salty carbs and unsaturated fat,
Because you let your doctor’s warnings fall flat
In your final days, you paid the ultimate price.
The symptoms are clear and very easy to discern
Swollen ankles, fatigue, and difficulty breathing
You suffer a general malaise which is not so pleasing
Taking Lasiks intravenously is something you learn.
I will miss, most of all, those tasty strips of bacon
Forever forbidden along with salty potato chips
No more adding salt to the food passing my lips
Adding restrictions to the handfuls of meds I’m takin’.
It is not so bad, after all, [I am training myself to think]
Following some simple directions about what I eat
I can still have vegetables and some delicious red meat
It is so much better than living life right up to the brink.
[*a nod to First Lady Barbara Bush, who died of
Congestive Heart Failure at the ripe old age of 92!]
Written June 1, 2021
An Emergency She Did Entail
This is what happened.
Was congestive heart failure
caused by pneumonia. Seems
to be latest thing.
She had started appearing frail and pale,
And several tests she would seem to fail;
Did worry;
Had to hurry;
Now in hospital when emergency did entail.
Jim Horn
You never realize how much you love
Someone until you are next to them
In their possible death bed unconscious;
I will never forget the terrible experience.
We shudder each time we drive by the hospital,
And thank God that my sweetheart is still alive;
Love does spring eternal and perpetual for sure,
When you are afraid you are about to lose it.
Jim Horn
Her pneumonia had ended up turning
into congestive heart failure.
Mom was always so energetic and vibrant
always practical how her time was spent
her house so orderly and well kept
tenants in her cottage paying her rent,
Then like on her mailbox a red flag went up
feeling tired she made doctor appointment to discuss
why suddenly she felt tired and fatigued
her symptoms full of mystery and intrigue,
Blood was drawn and anemia was thought the cause
but then the doctors saw in her blood something more
abnormal white blood blast cells in her bone marrow
knowing now she's on the front line of a cancer battle,
Congestive heart failure thrown in the mix
a prognosis that is not easy to fix
month of May already twice in the hospital
Mom is a trooper but at times overwhelmed by it all,
Will try another round of chemo in June
God willing her system will kill those blast cells soon
then she will have at least two more years left
still mysterious how in Mom's bone marrow MDS crept,
Despite her health issues my Moms got a glow
although at times it wears her down I know
trying to take it all in stride she smiles in the know
her life a delicate balance in the here and now.
5-30-17
< well isn't that swell
lost another cool surfboard ...
holy sharks galore
beyond horizon
the sun bids day well ado ...
happy trails to you
top of old smokey
cumulus congestive skies ...
coughing up a storm
excursion riding
using buoyant enforcement ...
to capture the sun
yacht and small vessel
endlessly floats rippled lake ...
feeling abandoned
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