You hold blemished lies
I hold and try sharing truths
can't find common ground
Black but raised in an orphanage with Philippino owners. Black but adopted by a white family. Athletic enough to make it onto a D1 team but not enough to be able to compete on it. Smart to have a 4.0 but not enough to make a good score on the LSAT. Christian but with Democratic values.
Infinite and enticing is the world at large :
Full of curious, motley marvels that enrich,
Appease and alleviate with divine charge,
The eager, stirred soul at the varied pitch ;
Live spirit ever cherishes the ideal kind;
Pleasures of one are most often the pain
Of others, who choose never to dwell
Or step into any nook of an alien domain ;
The reaches of the heaven and the hell
Are but the concocted portals of the mind
Absolute liberty exacting callous decadence
To seek the needs and impulses unruly,
In vying with others, caused the providence
To intervene with the commandments holy;
From Paleocene to the space- epoch proud,
Between the stones and the missiles wicked
Strode all weaponry grinning with vicious hate
From across the deserts and lands sacred,
Came forth Revealers and Pathfinders great,
To proclaim, recoup and restore equity aloud
One might win, and with great gains too,
In all conflicts with Nature and mankind;
Yet with stretching arms and power true
How far will the real success go ,and find
Him as a victor in his conflict with himself..?
A moment when opinions soar and butting heads begins
We never engaged in the pleasure of love-making,
they banned us from giving embraces and kisses:
how belief shaped the naiveness of our minds...
making us fear and keep us from sweet giving!
We longed to tremble, giving a passionate kiss,
we looked around and we saw stern, watchful eyes;
sweetness slipped out of thoughts, turning to bitterness...
they controlled us to impose the strict rules of obstinance!
We never dreamed of ecstasy, always showing a longing
for becoming one soul anchored by nightly loud moans;
we were deprived of sexual thoughts, never drifting
and feeling free from glances: religion bans and kills!
We were lonelier than children reading bed-time stories,
not frolicking romance to incite desire and awareness;
we missed on our youth for their concept of shining grace:
wasn't sex created by God to increase the Human race?
We never engaged in the pleasure of love-making,
they banned us from giving embraces and kisses:
how belief shaped the naiveness of our minds...
making us fear and keep us from sweet giving!
We longed to tremble, giving a passionate kiss,
we looked around and saw stern, watchful eyes;
sweetness slipped out of thought, turning to bitterness...
they controlled us to impose the strict rules of abstinence!
We never dreamed of ecstasy, always showing a longing
for becoming one soul anchored by nightly loud moans;
we were deprived of sexual thoughts, never drifting
and feeling free from glances: religion bans and kills!
We were lonelier than children reading bed-time stories,
not frolicking romance to incite desire and awareness;
we missed on our youth for their concept of shining grace:
wasn't sex created by God to increase the Human race?
Loathe
me long,
shred my soul,
burn my heart in
hate.
I’ll
dote you
till I’m gone.
In void feel my
love.
she is scarred so deeply inside
yet she chooses to remain beautiful
gloom of darkness engulfs her
yet she dons a mask of brightness
stab of humiliation slices her
yet she attempts to bandage her wounds
in her solitary moments
she keeps wondering
if her life is worth living
and the war she is waging, worth the struggle
she is a pearl locked in an oyster
but unless someone digs it out
its lustre will be lost to the world
and shall perish in the caverns of the sea
trapped and enslaved......
will she break the shell herself and come out?
from slushy swamps,
will she be able to walk to gilded palaces?
from a pawn on the chessboard,
will she ever rise as the reigning queen?
such thoughts torment her from inside
even when she knows she is beautiful in and out
and her worth is beyond measure
she can’t bear to be treated as a tiny bug
to be swatted at and done away with!
August.17. 2022
~ Placed First~
Inner Conflict Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Unseeking Seeker
Recurring thought kept urging her to do what she would never do
It had been too long
She could not control the outcome
Her inner self was screaming at her now
She shut it down with alcohol
Just to make sure, she took some sleeping pills too
Weirdly, this kept her up, not down
And the voice not only kept it up
But now there were two voices
Call him! One was screaming
The other one was slapping her in her reptilian brain.
He is to blame; you owe him nothing! It said.
She tossed all night, wishing to escape.
People walk at random
Life follows its course.
A dog tries to bite its tail.
And life is always strife
She collects my blood to egg and to create a next generation,my doubt,the next generation is of mine or this mosquito’s?
The human antonym
Buddhist, but maleficent
Losing,but triumphant
Home, but astray
Articulate, but nothing to say
Achieving,but no ambition
Trusting, but full of suspicion
Cold hearted, but devoted
Political, but never voted
Lazy, but overworked
Level headed, but berserk
Lacks talent, but a numen
All of the above- a human
I want to tell you how I feel deep down,
Deep inside my mind,
I want to show you my emotional light,
But I’m afraid of what I’ll find,
Because, when I sat, with a pen and paper,
And waited for my muse,
I waited for hours, in complete silence,
For any emotive news,
No happy, no sad, no desire or drive,
Nope, nothing through the night,
I think my pencil was sadder than me,
Because it didn’t get to write,
But then I realised why my page was empty,
Why it wasn’t writing anymore,
It’s because my conflicting emotions,
Are busy fighting a tug of war.
You see, my happy rumbles with my sad,
As disgust battles with delight,
Leaving me, emotionally, all alone,
Since my emotions are in a fight,
So, if only “lonely from my feelings”,
Was a feeling I could reveal,
Then I could write my feels to read, my friend,
I could tell you that I feel.
Death is a bleary phantom that's always hunting us,
and inescapable as it is we manage to shun it with lies;
too sinister is its appearance when it approaches us,
but isn't our wish to live forever even amid tragedies?
Even trees can withstand many wild storms declaring their stronghold;
compared to them we are feeble creatures who are bought and sold;
yesterday our youth was a dazzling star, today it's slowly fading out
shortening these predestined days...which one of us will first depart?
Positive-minded people live longer that the skeptical ones,
faith has a strong influence on our feelings and emotions:
saints were those sacrificial souls that gave up their livelihood
to help others, Saint Francis of Assisi was closer to the Word!
Life can be simply generous or cruel, be brief or long as night,
awful is the fate of the young ones who ignore biblical wisdom;
blessed are the ones with wrinkles and white hair at dwilight...
is their wish to live on a troubled Earth, or in a peaceful kingdom?
Written on 4/25/2017
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