Commented Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member Disparate

Disparate, she commented,
The word reverberating
As fond music, with pleasant 
Measures and tingly tones -- 
And should we not be open
To others’ voices, divergence of
Thinking? As with clear-eyed
And blinking, a look-see is worth
The now, hoping, anticipated 
Enlivened journey of daring 
Vistas, elongated dimensions -- 
Spirit/mind ever on the hunt for
Spirit/source – life is a series
Of Lost And Founds...squares
Seeking their counterpart rounds -- 
Not diametrically opposed, just
Points and edges making intriguing
Bounds – but never a harmony all 
Quaking Spheres.  Simply enjoying
A unique volume of eyes, noses, voices 
And pert little ears.

Premium Member Where Are My Short Stories To Reply To

I wrote a short story 
About the Chee Chee Mong
someone commented on it
I want to rely on the comment
So i tried several times 
Each time I tried -
Nothing happened
So I tried again
I ended with the 
same results
I went to search for my problem
i saw a lot of articles of my short story
I did not see my short story. 
i do not know how to reach my shrt story
So I  thought i would ask a poet
i pressed my poems to press a poet to ask 
i pressed edit  and now iI ae trouble with that. 
Now I am very upset.

Premium Member No More FB Fun

I go to Facebook 
    for some innocent fun,
and every post,
    whether sweet or glum
is commented on
     politically,
it’s become rather 
    parasitically 
    hypocritically 
    perniciously
    suspiciously 
a toxic condition
with no cure,
     unfortunately!


Premium Member Accuse me '

Accuse me.' I will listen..Yet in this do not abuse me. Should any take the idea i may
Be in error..Employ neither passive aggression or resort to terror.' And I will be
As equal as my faculties allow, there may
Well be sequels.? I might not be up to your
Mental status.? God is always up-rating us
No doubt i'll meet my 'overmatch' thats as it should be..' then I shall indeed shut my hatch.' And listen to learn, what i may ?although
I may be now more short on days, all love
To any reader, and oh God.!! By the way Can you grant
Us some real Christian teachers' And leaders and doctors.' Nurses bakers shopkeepers, tyrefitters and librarians
Fishermens thats more than one btw.'
Or peoples.? Oh if you as a various person
Comment thats ok.' By various person i mean a representative of humanity who might have different views
 at times; other .'
I indeed might be considered such.? As i'll
Be different than the last writer you commented on.' Anyway if you think, i'm right or wrong.? Just make a comment on.'

Premium Member Look Over There

the woods were abnormally quiet
we pitched our tents in silence
honoring the quietude of the forest

I noted some gorgeous pines in the distance
heard a tiny sound, turned and saw a deer’s white tail
She had leaped into the thicket, so I missed the rest of her

my camping buddy whispered for me to come closer
I did, and he handed me his binoculars.
Don’t make any loud sounds, but look over there.

I did not see anything unusual at first.
He gave me additional directions, and I noted one unusual tree.
It seemed to be thicker than the others.

I commented on it. He told me to magnify the lens
There was an enormous bigfoot staring at us.
I nearly dropped the binoculars. My mouth squeaked.

Don’t be afraid, my companion said. I have seen this one before.
Suddenly I knew that he was out of his mind.
I did not know whether to run away or to stay.

Happy Birthday

Hope you had an amazing birthday with all your new friends.
I saw the picture of your tanned legs on Instagram.

You posted about relaxing with a drink by the pool.
Happy to have made new friends who seemed pretty cool.

When I commented happy birthday on your Facebook, it didn't get a like or a heart. I should have gotten the hint but I am not very smart.

I told you I wish I could have been celebrating with you but I was out of town.
But all you wanted to talk about was your new friends having a BBQ Showdown.

You went on to post about how happy you were and that you were so excited.
I commented that I was there in spirit but I knew that I wasn't invited.

I hope you had the best birthday celebration ever.
I was being brushed off but couldn't take the hint.
You know I am not very clever.

I was shocked when I noticed on Facebook I was unfriended.
I couldn't believe the cruel way our friendship ended.

It hurts that I was thrown away for people you thought were better and new.
It hit me out of nowhere, I didn't have a clue.

You abruptly ended things, severing ties with a knife.
I hope that this was the best birthday of your life.


Premium Member I Guess Redheads are Rare

at birth, my grandson Jack’s eyes were amber like a wolves
his hair had a tinge of ginger that gave him a look of mischief
I had never seen such eyes, but the hair was familiar
My mother was a McCormick; the Irish have lots of redheads

People commented on the hair but not the eyes
Did they not notice those wolf-like orbs? I could not believe it
I guess redheads are rare, that is the impression I had.
I now dye my hair a red shade called burgundy; I adore it.

I wish it would grow out the right color, but alas,
It is growing out white, so I look like a skunk when it is time to dye
My grandson’s eyes have changed to a darker brown,
but he still has that lovely tinge that people marvel about.

A new spring

The bitterly heavy rains had cleared,
and though the afternoon heat
reeked more of eternal summer
than of spring, we felt her hover
through our wide-eyed gazes, 
the unapologetic smiles and in 
every wrong turn taken, in
every awkward interaction. 
Amidst a meadow of paper and texts,
fresh intellect shows signs of blossom
while the wardens of nature - 
the lapwings and ravens - observe
the dawn of a season of rebirth. 




A/N: I just started my university journey, and my father (who also went to the same uni like 35 years ago) saw the common areas of the university packed with undergrads and commented on how it looked like spring in full bloom. I really liked that imagery, and I told him I'd write a poem on it, so here we are. I also incorporated some other observations I'd made - like how animals (especially birds) were super tame on campus grounds.

I Miss You

I missed you today.
Not the one that noticed my clothes, 
or commented on the way I wore my hair.

Not the one who said it was my fault,
that I provoked it, 
that I should have been different.

Not the one that turned away 
when I needed help most.

I missed the you that held me when I cried,
who encouraged me when I doubted.

The one that always showed up 
who made me feel less alone.

The one who took time to know me,
That never made me question
whether I was worthy to be seen.

I missed you, 
even though we’ve never met.

The Big Tuba

The soups and  breads were fixed 
know seemed to have interest
In that. One commented that the
Chickens used in the soup were as
big as geese, naming one kingKong. 
Garlic and margine was used with
Garden herbs to create the croutons. 
He would be a one man ed gang to
complete all the tasks still needed to
be done before the party goers arrived. 
She like using terms for the chores
which were incomplete and offered to
do them herself, Fee-end she spoke of the
staff lacking to clean both softshelled  crabs
and the softshelled crayfish. They should be
I ed of put in the frig she said. 
Leaving the crew of one puzzled. A hall of fame
to the genius who invents a robot who isn't afraid
of my tongue lashing. Until the both you and I are
are at best the seasoning of which is to follow.
The need to be on time and prudent.

Commented Content


R-ight
O-r
W-rong,
E-very
N-ew
A-rticle

A-bout
L-ove
A-lways
M-oves
O-nline
N-etizens

©bfa043025
Monocrostic (Birthday of Rowena A. Alamon)

Premium Member Braving out the Tsunami

A huge tsunami did not bother these two
Maude McMillian and her twin sister Sue
They got in their shopping cart and rode a wave
Many commented those old gals are brave

We have been in tsunamis worse than this one said
Yes, and we are still alive said her sis, nowhere dead
They laughed and chortled as they blew around the town
Watching street lights and bridges falling swiftly down

This is no big deal, nothing like the storm of 1992
Maude agreed with her identical twin sister Sue
They snatched up a cat, a dog and two rabbits to save
Sparing them from death and an early grave

In Defense of Reason

Pickety, Snickety
Reason A. Goodwin is
using a lexicon
to check the word

Reason’s a champion
alphaclopediack.
Not ev’ry intern can
find what is heard.

Reason A. Goodwin, the editor of World Book Encyclopedia Dictionary, 
was paid good money as a judge on the original Password Game Show.
The first time he used his dictionary to look up a word - the producers
commented that we could have paid any 'staffer' to do that.

Premium Member The Lady in Black

She came to visit me
and I laid out for her
the most beautiful black dress

She went into the private chambers
and put the black dress on
along with a set of diamond earrings
and necklace 

From here I would whisk her away
to a private dinner
by candlelight 

We would have lobster and shrimp
with mixed vegetables and corn
and some mashed potatoes too

She ate with manners complete
and ask to pause dinner 
for a romantic dance
as the grand piano played

I took her in my arms 
and I whispered
I will love you forever 
and a day

From there we had a light dessert
and some chocolate
and chatted softly amongst true loves

We strolled on out to the beach
and watched the shooting stars 
and commented on the moons of Jupiter
and the rings of Saturn
The constellations were our friends. 

And then we touched and kissed 
her lips tasted like raspberries and cream
and her skin was as soft as cotton

I would say the story ends here
but you are too innocent to hear the rest
as movements were in sync
with the fireworks above

Premium Member Someone needed to give a love

I just wanted to love someone

Give a heart, give a touch, give a word, give a stroking, give a smile
Needed lives, wanted lives, lives, or lives? Get a memory in your life

Life needs your lives, the land is empty, walk alone, it is a suffering soul
Get a memory from your and our past kinds; Children crying to us to life

We are killers, they are dead
Yes, yes. – said Mr Death
You are egoists. – Said Good Satan

I know. – I answered.
Then? – Asked Satan.

I go. – I answered.
Where? – Asked it by Satan
Into the Hell. – I replied.
New life. – Commented Satan.

Welcome. – Said it was an angel.
I need love. One. – I replied.

Come. – She said.
My life is off. – I said.

Good. – She said.
On the off. – I said.

Love
Off
On
Love
On

Sub Categories

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