Commented Poems | Examples

A new spring

The bitterly heavy rains had cleared,
and though the afternoon heat
reeked more of eternal summer
than of spring, we felt her hover
through our wide-eyed gazes, 
the unapologetic smiles and in 
every wrong turn taken, in
every awkward interaction. 
Amidst a meadow of paper and texts,
fresh intellect shows signs of blossom
while the wardens of nature - 
the lapwings and ravens - observe
the dawn of a season of rebirth. 




A/N: I just started my university journey, and my father (who also went to the same uni like 35 years ago) saw the common areas of the university packed with undergrads and commented on how it looked like spring in full bloom. I really liked that imagery, and I told him I'd write a poem on it, so here we are. I also incorporated some other observations I'd made - like how animals (especially birds) were super tame on campus grounds.
Categories: commented, education, imagery, nature, spring,
Form: Free verse

I Miss You

I missed you today.
Not the one that noticed my clothes, 
or commented on the way I wore my hair.

Not the one who said it was my fault,
that I provoked it, 
that I should have been different.

Not the one that turned away 
when I needed help most.

I missed the you that held me when I cried,
who encouraged me when I doubted.

The one that always showed up 
who made me feel less alone.

The one who took time to know me,
That never made me question
whether I was worthy to be seen.

I missed you, 
even though we’ve never met.
Categories: commented, sad love,
Form: Free verse


The Big Tuba

The soups and  breads were fixed 
know seemed to have interest
In that. One commented that the
Chickens used in the soup were as
big as geese, naming one kingKong. 
Garlic and margine was used with
Garden herbs to create the croutons. 
He would be a one man ed gang to
complete all the tasks still needed to
be done before the party goers arrived. 
She like using terms for the chores
which were incomplete and offered to
do them herself, Fee-end she spoke of the
staff lacking to clean both softshelled  crabs
and the softshelled crayfish. They should be
I ed of put in the frig she said. 
Leaving the crew of one puzzled. A hall of fame
to the genius who invents a robot who isn't afraid
of my tongue lashing. Until the both you and I are
are at best the seasoning of which is to follow.
The need to be on time and prudent.
Categories: commented, basketball, culture, dance, film,
Form: Ballad

Commented Content


R-ight
O-r
W-rong,
E-very
N-ew
A-rticle

A-bout
L-ove
A-lways
M-oves
O-nline
N-etizens

©bfa043025
Monocrostic (Birthday of Rowena A. Alamon)
Categories: commented, birthday,
Form: Acrostic

Premium MemberBraving out the Tsunami

A huge tsunami did not bother these two
Maude McMillian and her twin sister Sue
They got in their shopping cart and rode a wave
Many commented those old gals are brave

We have been in tsunamis worse than this one said
Yes, and we are still alive said her sis, nowhere dead
They laughed and chortled as they blew around the town
Watching street lights and bridges falling swiftly down

This is no big deal, nothing like the storm of 1992
Maude agreed with her identical twin sister Sue
They snatched up a cat, a dog and two rabbits to save
Sparing them from death and an early grave
Categories: commented, 10th grade, 12th grade,
Form: Rhyme


In Defense of Reason

Pickety, Snickety
Reason A. Goodwin is
using a lexicon
to check the word

Reason’s a champion
alphaclopediack.
Not ev’ry intern can
find what is heard.

Reason A. Goodwin, the editor of World Book Encyclopedia Dictionary, 
was paid good money as a judge on the original Password Game Show.
The first time he used his dictionary to look up a word - the producers
commented that we could have paid any 'staffer' to do that.
Categories: commented, 11th grade, humor, words,
Form: Double Dactyl

Premium MemberThe Lady in Black

She came to visit me
and I laid out for her
the most beautiful black dress

She went into the private chambers
and put the black dress on
along with a set of diamond earrings
and necklace 

From here I would whisk her away
to a private dinner
by candlelight 

We would have lobster and shrimp
with mixed vegetables and corn
and some mashed potatoes too

She ate with manners complete
and ask to pause dinner 
for a romantic dance
as the grand piano played

I took her in my arms 
and I whispered
I will love you forever 
and a day

From there we had a light dessert
and some chocolate
and chatted softly amongst true loves

We strolled on out to the beach
and watched the shooting stars 
and commented on the moons of Jupiter
and the rings of Saturn
The constellations were our friends. 

And then we touched and kissed 
her lips tasted like raspberries and cream
and her skin was as soft as cotton

I would say the story ends here
but you are too innocent to hear the rest
as movements were in sync
with the fireworks above
Categories: commented, appreciation,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberSomeone needed to give a love

I just wanted to love someone

Give a heart, give a touch, give a word, give a stroking, give a smile
Needed lives, wanted lives, lives, or lives? Get a memory in your life

Life needs your lives, the land is empty, walk alone, it is a suffering soul
Get a memory from your and our past kinds; Children crying to us to life

We are killers, they are dead
Yes, yes. – said Mr Death
You are egoists. – Said Good Satan

I know. – I answered.
Then? – Asked Satan.

I go. – I answered.
Where? – Asked it by Satan
Into the Hell. – I replied.
New life. – Commented Satan.

Welcome. – Said it was an angel.
I need love. One. – I replied.

Come. – She said.
My life is off. – I said.

Good. – She said.
On the off. – I said.

Love
Off
On
Love
On
Categories: commented, life, love,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberENJOYING OLD AGE





Whoever succeeds in adopting a positive attitude towards old age, 

The passing of years, would not appear an earthly burden on him, 

But, heavenly bliss.
-
-

© Demetrios Trifiatis
   15 September 2024
-

* As always, I share the honor of P.O.T.D., with all my friends. I thank each one of you who has commented on my poem, as well as the officials who bestowed the honor upon my writing. Blessings.
Categories: commented, age, earth, heaven,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberDress to impress!- bawdy humour


My sister got married in white
Gran commented, “That isn’t right -
You are no virgin bride
That’s YOUR son by your side
You should have kept your legs shut tight!”
Categories: commented, irony, wedding,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberWinner Winner Chicken Dinner

Nursery Rhymes Only Contest - sponsored by Eve Roper

To Eve’s winning contestants, I write this poem for you.
I have read each one and commented till I am blue.

You won’t see them there however.
I’ve been getting an error forever.

Your nursery rhymes are clever, cute, unique, and precious.
It is the comment fields that are the most treacherous.
So know I have read and do wish you congrats!
My non-existent comments will skew your stats.

It’s “Error!” “Error!” “Error!”
I am a “System 500” starer.
Where is that IT repairer?

Should I cross my fingers or say a prayer?
Categories: commented, anxiety, conflict, confusion, nursery
Form: Rhyme

Pencil Sharpener Woman, from THE WOMAN WHO COULD EAT WOOD

Pencil Sharpener Woman 


Her shapely metal figure was baby blue,
but there was much more to her.
She sharpened all grades of pencil lead
with the greatest of whir. 

Her movable face plate with pencil gripper and human features was, as commented by most
library customers,
the opposite of gross. 

She was very fond of 
customers of all colours, of all sizes, the dented,
and, of course, of all classes. ‘Your love of reading keeps you learning,’ she often complimented. 

Unfortunately some customers
weren’t fond of her at all though,
and they demanded that
she be let go. 

‘Why? Why? Why!’
was her only reply. 

When her haters returned books late, 
and refused to pay the small fine,
anger and hate 
she felt for their stupid action and whine. 

So to teach them a lesson, 
on the front desk made of pine, 
when the whiners sharpened their pencils she shut off her automatic stop mechanism normally fine,
turned her hand crank as 
rapidly as an equine,
and her sharp blades
ate up their pencils just fine.
Categories: commented, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberTaking a Break

While on vacation, I decided it was time to take a break from Poetry Soup, after seven years of being here. I do not know if, or when I will return. In the meantime, I want to thank everyone who visited my poems and commented. I really appreciate you-- being there for me. So many top poets and friends will dwell in my memories. Your visits and comments meant a lot.
Categories: commented, appreciation,
Form: Prose

Premium MemberElizabeth E

I had never met Elizabeth E before today.
She works at a different school.
Another Montessori.
She sat down at our round table.
I could tell by a variety of looks that others at our table knew her.

Almost before the group task was explained EE grabbed the paper.
She confiscated the markers too.
Without any help from the other seven teachers she began to talk.
Telling us why she was doing the group activity.
Because she is brilliant, a member of Mensa, and smarter than us.

We all watched her do the entire group project incorrectly.
None of us commented or suggested.
One young newbie tried to make a few suggestions.
But she soon caught on. We were not bright enough to help.
Elizabeth E’s hand was the first one up. She wanted to share.

She loudly and proudly explained what she had done.
The commentator told her that it was completely wrong.
All of us burst out laughing.
Two of us could not stop.
I have never felt less like an idiot.
Categories: commented, teacher,
Form: Narrative

Premium MemberAn Artesian Had Done Well

Older lady with face of a ninety-year old
Wore a bejeweled spider on her lapel
It was striking, many commented
Others seemed to not notice

How you could not notice, I do not know
She was a tiny woman, weighing seventy pounds
Two of it was from the spider brooch
It was her inheritance someone whispered.

I was not sure what they meant.
Her only inheritance?
Her favorite inheritance?
From her parents or from a man?

I did not know her well enough to ask.
But I stared at it for a long time.
This spider was an undisputed beauty.
An artesian had done well.
Categories: commented, art,
Form: Prose Poetry

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