Nearly on the mountain's summit.
To plant his "I did it!" flag,
Only to be flushed down
By fate's rumbling avalanche.
Nevertheless, keep your pity;
He's halfway up on second try.
If you were long-winded
but no pun in ten did,
do you lack humor’s art,
or was that a long fart?
Once a pun, a thyme, a sage
got tossed for smoking in a bar;
It seems bad jokes are not in season;
close, but no cigar.
A glutton for punishment -
Never sausage a thirst!
He grinned at the butcher,
Now, give me your wurst!
—————
for the Pun Fun Poetry Contest
sponsored by Margarita Lillico
written 3/11/23
As an adult to another adult;
Does one such as an adult;
Listens to us;
If I tell you to be quiet there’s no power, no honest reply nor applying request;
And yet if you’re a child;
And I tell you “NO” you sequel, fuss maybe cry;
And yet you obey you subside;
The power of “NO” when I speak it;
Depends on the matter of speaking;
If I “NO” and you comply…
It just might save your life;
Why? “you ask How and Why;
a negative used to express dissent,
NO!
denial, or refusal, as in ...
it can’t be done I have the power within, my mind and on my tongue;
It can be done. .... all talk (and no action);
All with satisfaction;
I have power overall;
all work and no play; by no means;
I have all power when I say so;
close but no cigar, all power I have when I say…
“NO”
11/21/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2019
Written for class November 19, 2019 assignment (WIPS)
North Omaha Writers Group (NOW)
The more you try to hide
The more you would conceal
The more your hands are tied
The more truth you reveal
We all know who you are
And who you want to be
It’s close but no cigar
You’re now so much debris
So say your last goodbyes
Fade into the sunset
You’ll never win the prize
With promise nor with threat
5/3/2019
A Realistic Hillary Clinton Poem Contest
Sponsored by: Michael Wegman
Two parties with a fifty-fifty chance
Of getting the longer half, but in this game
Of sheer luck, one gets the wish fulfillment
One literally comes up short
When the wishbone splits in two
How sad to end up with the shorter half?
Close, but no cigar. An unlucky break
Then lady luck smiles and disappears
In a split second. Isn't it tantamount to a scale
Tipping the balance to the wrong end?
At one fell swoop, one who holds
The shorter half is out of favor, a gambler
With a snake eyes dice. A wish so
Tantalizingly close, hynotized
Into deep sleep
But there's a technique to improving
The odds of ending up with the longer half
You simply pull instead of attempt to break it off
Glory could be yours, If you grab the upper part
Of the wishbone, instead of the tail-end
Date written and posted: 11/02/2018
Close but no Cigar.
I have tried,
obviously, you don't mind.
I heartily fell and stumbled,
but I stood up in the midst of battled.
I have cried,
obviously, you don't mind.
I have knelt down with tears falling,
for loving you is a gambling.
I have dried,
obviously, you don't mind.
Heating up myself for the entire day,
begging you to come and stay.
I have died,
obviously, you don't mind.
I was dying inside in walking too far,
it was so close but no cigar.
I'm sorry for the Steelers fans
(My sister and her spouse)
For disappointment must now rule
Their beings and their house.
The Packers fans are sad as well,
So close but no cigar,
A pity to be unsuccessful
Having come so far.
I really couldn't care which teams
Are Super Bowl contending,
But I'm delighted that the
Football season will be ending!
How ya doin?
I just wanted to write a "watchamacallit" poem
when I got up this morning after I
"made my bed and laid in it!"
Then I forgot I had left some of the lights on
last night like I was having an "electric party!"
I also shut the back door because we
"don't live in a barn!"
And I have to realize that "money doesn't grow on trees!"
But I am a pretty "lucky stiff" because my husband
say's "he's going to kill me!" but I think he is just kidding!
Maybe he"ll "forget about it!"
So, I'm going to grab a "cup of joe" right now and…
OOOOPS! "That was a "close shave!"
P.S."Okeydoke," have to "get a move on" and get my "earl" changed…
Take Care and "Be Safe!"
P.P.S.S. This poem was a "piece of cake" to write!
Hmmmm..."Close…but no cigar?"
I do love you
You must accept that as a given
There was never any question
Of my not loving you
But there was always something missing
You must have felt it too
A “close but no cigar” kind of feeling
So I do love you
But no matter how great the love
The uncomfortable truth is
You’re not the one
You’re not my soul mate
I wish you were
Because I do love you
But we are not a matched pair
Almost but not quite
But she’s out there
Somewhere, waiting, wondering
Maybe having this same conversation
With her mismatch
She’s out there
The perfect one
The one made for me
The one I was made for
We only get one chance
To get it right
And we have got it wrong
He is out there somewhere
Your perfect half
Who will make you whole
And make you happy
You must seek yours out
And I must search for mine
How far down do we go before we hit rock bottom?
When do we stop turning our heads the other way?
Greed and corruption have become acceptable
Is lack of leadership here to stay?
Politically correct, we cannot condemn
It wasn't sex, we didn't go that far
Was it like Donna Rice and Gary Hart?
That sure is close, but no cigar.
Now Bushman talks with a sarcastic smile
Telling all let freedom ring
He no longer wants to be president
He'll be satisfied when we crown him king
We are taking away incentive to achieve
And rewarding mediocrity
As long as we don't make anyone feel bad
Or let people see the real pity
Be politically correct, don't tell the truth
Don't offend the criminals on the street
Protect their rights and relinquish yours
Bow your heads and take it or feel the heat
Give up your guns, give up your rights
Give up your neighborhood
You have no choice, you have no voice
It's for the common good
If we accept and we do not fight
Then we deserve what we get
Our freedom will become a memory
And our anthem will be regret.
I'll forever think of you. You're
So close, yet so far,
But I don't regret a minute.
I realize now how close we really are.
Sometimes, when I'd like you to be here,
I'll wish upon a star.
Then I'll try to imagine you standing by me.
Close, but no cigar.
Thoughts of you
Burn in my head like a scar,
But we live in two different worlds.
We are so close, but so far.
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