We live in good times
(by most historical standards)
Yet more accurately these are the best of times,
and the worst of times, as not only is there everything
imaginable happening, but
every up must have a down.
But in good times, with a good times mentality
we think there shouldn’t be any down side,
and if it comes then it must be something
we’re doing wrong, or aren’t doing right enough,
and when it comes, it becomes intolerable as we sink
into despair or scramble for our bag of tricks.
Bags of tricks are good, to ease the strain
and make it through another day,
but they aren’t meant to erase the down time
as much as give us the strength, the breather
the resilience to face it all
with patience and equanimity.
Down sides after all are just
the other side of up,
the other half of a whole,
and to expect to have one without the other
is childishly foolish
in the extreme.
Good times create soft people
who then create hard times
which in turn creates hard people
who then create good times…
round and round, on and on
up and down without end.
(2/2/24)
The trouble with love is that it ends
the thing about love how does it begin
one sided or shared, shy or no fear
love can be trouble, love can be trouble
Why must we fall into it
or lose it before we knew it
that love was always there
waiting to long it disappeared
The trouble with love is it obsessive
makes you possessive
childishly regressive
only to see it dismissive
Love takes all your time
wanting it solely thine
becomes a must need
showing your selfish greed
All you do to get it
anything you never regret it
than the ecstasy becomes a bore
lacking your desires explore
Never satisfy, love is lacking
that something you keep attracting
and before love really even begins
the trouble with love is that it ends.
Why, as we grow older
do we lose the innocence of youth
are ageing and innocence mutually exclusive
is it because innocence affords us no protection
leaving us defenceless
easy victims
and so we abandon it
as we come to know the world that we inhabit
a world that tells us to expect the worst
and as we look for the worst
and find it all around us
our focus is lost to wonder and opportunity
our openness and willingness to trust
branded silly and naïve
dangerous even
the awe that filled us when young
that had us keen and vibrant
fearless and full of expectation
has become the currency of the childishly gullible
of little value in the ranks of lost innocence
and so
having left our youth behind us
and with it our innocence
an innocence that inspired us
permitting us to be open and unguarded
to accept our world at face value
to be impulsive and trusting
to believe in innate goodness
we have
with the guiding wisdom of age
decided
that it is no longer prudent
to unquestioningly offer our hand
to unreservedly open our heart
to smile and welcome people in.
A walk in Chelsea
Regret, like a frost, upon my heart
For Chelsea, a love that I had to depart
With hindsight I can clearly see
In pain and anger, I acted childishly
For the road not taken, the love lost
Forever in distance, at what cost?
For I must choose myself, it seems
And love her from afar in my dreams.
But oh, the memories that remain,
Of Chelsea, in my heart and brain
I see her face, and hear her voice
And wish I made a different choice.
For in my haste, I let her go
And now, in sorrow, I now know
The true worth of her love and grace
And wish every night for her warm embrace
Though fate and time may take their toll
This heartache will not be controlled
My love for Chelsea will endure
For my affection will forever be pure
And though I must move on in life
My love for her, will cause no strife
For in my heart, she shall remain
Forever loved, forever missed...
Forever as my heart’s only pain.
I’m learning a lot, dating Peter. For instance, I have a whole new awareness of how clueless older Americans, like people in their mid-twenties, are about things in the modern world.
I think Peter’s learning things too. Like the other night, I was 30 minutes late because I was gluing little, glittering rhinestones to my eyebrows. Was he mad? Yes, we had a little drama, but that’s just because he hasn’t learned to respect my lifestyle choices.
“Don’t be mawkish Peter,” I softly advised him, while fixing the caller of his shirt, “look, let's just pretend that we squabbled over this, and I won?” I suggested, helpfully. “It’ll save us time and WOW, we’re running late, OK? Seeing some small, lingering irritation, I promised, “We can still makeup later.”
The rhinestones looked spectacular, I got a LOT of compliments and in the end, I think he liked them. You know, sometimes I’ll catch him looking at me, like the moon or something, like I’m out of reach.
Guys are so.. (Searching for a word).
.
.
mawkish = exaggeratedly or childishly over-emotional.
I wasn't good enough anyways,
I was overly sensitive and dramatic
Always treating every little complication as though it was tragic
Foolishly ignoring the reality of life in the name of being optimistic,
Heartbroken whenever the truth was laid out to me by someone realisitic,
I was even quick to childishly label them pessimistic
Often forgetting life isn't a bed of roses nor a pool of magic,
Often forgetting not every single action between a couple must be romantic,
I always tended to forget that friendship preceded anything platonic
Rushing into the idea of a relationship faster than Sonic
Harboring and living out ideas that turned feelings from platonic to toxic,
It's no wonder the relationship sunk faster than the Titanic
Here is a truth as hard as honed steel,
It cuts like a knife but rolls like a wheel
Approaching with promise of nearness and love,
But slicing as deeply as hate from above.
It severs not the connection in between,
Yet it minces a Mother in ways unseen.
After years in her mold, your self you exert
By cutting her under and enjoying her hurt.
You joke with your friends how controlling she is
Ya’ll drink and you laugh, creating foul aliases,
Childishly exaggerating, thoughtlessly you rally,
Bolstering your girlie group but keeping no tally
Of the dishonor you pile on both Mothers AND spawn.
Will this cruelty not live on once Moms are gone?
Is this a world of lies and deceit?
Is deception the norm of the human life?
Must heartache reign for infinity?
Is living a lifetime a nightmarish hell?
Where can I find the solace I need?
When masks of deceit abound
And I know not who's friend or foe,
Who truly lends a hand in need?
Or is just calculating his own growth?
I feel resentment grow in me.
Am I to be a recluse, escape from all?
Am I to yearn for days gone by,
When childishly I trusted all?
I pull the brakes and little rays of hope
Amass and grow strong in my soul.
The dawning sun shines on the forest green.
There is a blessing in the dew that drips
From newly sprouted leaves of trees.
The white crisp frost thaws slowly
As the day grows slowly old like me.
The beauty of creation embraces all:
An ageless gift forever new.
And so I realize that God is there
With me to fill each of my lonely dreams
And fulfils me forever with His hope.
So, why didn’t you stop
After seeing a red-eyed cop
You know could ask you to hurriedly drop
And have you childishly begin to hop
Or ludicrously bop
To still hard blows wire to your face while on top
And angrier, like gilled corn, pop!
A prelude to making you some grimy floor mop
Or in a nearby farm start planting a crop,
Retaining this over coat that does make you a fop?
To whom it may concern,
Wishing to more learn
About the bearer, our ex-student,
He was a Great Sympathizer of ‘The Imprudent’…
Worldly wise and to a fault bright,
He was to become a familiar sight
In nearby restaurants selling African Salad
And European marmalade;
For both, often parting with four British pounds
The former sometimes ordering in mounds…
Was seldom appearing in our school uniform,
For which we did his guardian inform;
His craving for muftis of a shouting colour,
Besides the unusually paler…
Continually would laugh at his notebooks
And, not once, fleeing from his textbooks
All their pages dying to be opened
But in return childishly roughened…
Till date, not conquered by a fresh-smelling cane;
Rather only once cried to cowhide’s pain…
Just the Mount Everest he hopes to ascend some day
And from it's peak pick what would him well pay
We’ve, you can see, ENJOYED Billy Burn
And now it is your more fortunate turn!
*3 haikus*
I am enjoying
this dull time - this decayed life
of extinguished hopes
Each sublime sunrise
finds my morning mind childishly
wishing for freedom
If wishes had power
If young tears were a vaccine
If our thoughts mattered
There she undergoes,
A gamut of emotions
All at once-
“Don’t need
Diamonds and rings,
And all those
Expensive things.
Another anniversary,
Again all that hypocrisy.
Lies and pretence
Can see through,
Have that sense.
A craving for love undivided.
Now, either he leaves me
Or I get rid.....
To walk again
In a new sunshine
A new rain
Leaving behind the pain”
Here he pens
Some thoughts
Smiling at the ways
They childishly fought
“I can’t give you
Diamonds and rings
And all those
Expensive things
But every time
I see you
Some verses
Come out new
Resulting in more of
Creative things
Because I believe
Material gifts
Gradually shed
Their lustre
But.....
It is pure and passionate love
Which forever clings.”
You can’t admit wrong
And always blame me
Act as though strong
when clearly weak
Rage and shout
childishly
Create the scenes
disrupt the peace
Paranoid
think you’re headstrong
Easily annoyed
turn red and strop
No one can tell you you’re the problem
You’re emotional hell that doesn’t stop
Seen on a dirty unwashed white van today
Something that which did make me LoL
Right up my street
My kind of sense of humour
Someone had wrote this classic piece of finger art on the back
And on this his van was not written
Wash me
But rather appropriately
Also comes in White
Which tickled my funny bone no end
I almost fell off my bike
Because i have a childishly sense of humour
drifting
drifting off
to sleep
going down
the Nile
once
when now
it seems
i was
a child and
childishly
these
dreams
were
real
never making it
to Luxor at least
by boat because
a wall of wonderment
was approaching
from the north
and as so suggested
docking and battening
down the hatches
before going below
i looked up to see
the only sandstorm
i've ever seen
but it blasted
my mind into
a glass
memory
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