If television is chewing gum for the eyes,
as this architect would have us think,
can you walk and chew gum at the same time
or would it put your TV on the blink?
But what if radio is bubble gum for the ears,
as is my personal perception,
would you be forever blowing big ones
or would it interfere with the reception?
What's up doc repeats Bugs Bunny
thinking he's being cute and funny
sounding like a wily parrot
while posing chewing on his carrot
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Submitted on August 14, 2025 for contest CARTOON CHARACTER CLERIHEW sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN - RANKED 2ND
You ever get this idea in your head. This menacing feeling chewing on your brain like that moment you decide to swallow your chewed gum. The insecurity that everything in your life is just plain wrong. You wake up fine or even happy yet with a smile upon your face you sit blindly scratching open your skin trying to survive your millions of thoughts. Someone ask if you're alright and you don't even think twice with an "I'm fine" response and part of you is not lying. You're okay. Just trapped in your own head space beginning to wonder if you're just dead weight and if so is it too late to become weightless and just float away. I wonder all the time if when I say I'm fine if secretly I'm screaming that I'm lying and if so can you see it on my face?
A burst of flavor secreted
~ within five minutes deleted
Narratives or at least that's what I call them
Without doubt win hands down every time
I've deviated with limericks and couplets and stuff
But I'm back to the old poems that rhyme
Very similar to when we go away on vacation
It feels so good to finally get back home
Everytime we deviat from our regular patterns
Though we enjoy it a bunch when we roam
Guess it's familiarity that we're always craving
Friendly faces of the people we know
No hidden agendas, no scams to contend with
Just the same old routine, same old show
Comfortable is a very good word to describe it
That down home feeling when with friends
Like always being in style with jeans and Adidas
Instead of trying to keep up with the trends
Give me that plain old simple way of living
It surely wins hands down ever time
That's how I roll, I'm just a simple old hayseed
Sitting around chewing the fat is just fine
Let’s give him the nickname of Sayles.
In suit, he does chomp at his nails.
Preoccupied schlub
gnaws down to the nub.
A shame as he chews at details.
7/14/2022
Wow! True story!
My dog chews through cars
And houses and ditches
My dog chews through underwear
Spitting out delicate stitches
My dog chews through anything moldy or kosher
My dog Buddy chews like the blades of a dozer
We love him no matter that he just ate the house
At least it got rid of the cat and a mouse
Narratives or at least that's what I call them
Without doubt win hands down every time
I've deviated with limericks and couplets and stuff
But I'm back to the old poems that rhyme
Very similar to when we go away on vacation
It feels so good to finally get back home
Everytime we deviat from our regular patterns
Though we enjoy it a bunch when we roam
Guess it's familiarity that we're always craving
Friendly faces of the people we know
No hidden agendas, no scams to contend with
Just the same old routine, same old show
Comfortable is a very good word to describe it
That down home feeling when with friends
Like always being in style with jeans and Adidas
Instead of trying to keep up with the trends
Give me that plain old simple way of living
It surely wins hands down ever time
That's how I roll, I'm just a simple old hayseed
Sitting around chewing the fat is just fine
Steadily beats he a drum,
Heavily drinking stiff rum;
Zestfully tours he a slum,
Masculine tunes does hum.
Later, his fingers are numb,
Not excluded his half thumb;
Decides he then to sit his bum
For an unfinished chewing gum,
To him released by a chum,
When he couldn’t from him a plum…
Later, shall workout the sum
Of how to get back to doting mum;
A drummer alcoholic,
At times, a workaholic
Tapping my pencil on the desk.
What will I write about?
Chewing the eraser -
Now I have to stick to the subject!
I worry -
Is the lead too long?
Will it break?
What if I make a mistake?
I have to be cautious
and aware of each flub.
As the lead slacks
I must be ready to end.
But what if I have more
to tell?
I worry
about that too.
I’ll likely chew
another eraser
before
I'm through.
Oh no!
Like driftwood
I find myself doodling -
my subject’s brooding.
12/7/2021
He has chewed up the dresser, two chairs and the couch.
His big mouth comes toward me; hey! Stop that! Ouch!
He is a puppy who rapidly devours chew toys in half.
They say he cannot tear up that one. That is a laugh!
He is chewing up the refrigerator and toaster now too.
He will devour the company after he finishes my shoe.
We watch in amazement; he is a super dog for sure.
But we have to forgive him, for his puppy heart is so pure.
We named him Buddy. He is a Great Dane German Shepherd mix
A baby; we keep saying we should have called him Marmaduke.
In one month he has chewed up at least a hundred things.
He has chewed the lids off of twenty-four water bottles and six juices.
Did he dump them? No. He did it without spelling a drop of juice.
I am down to two pairs of shoes.. Four are tattered and torn.
He chewed up a brand-new car cover which had never been used.
He demolished a package of Styrofoam paper plates too.
When we go to bed we don’t know what we will wake up to.
The living room is usually full of things we forgot that we had owned.
One day I recognized the shredded material but did not know why.
It was a child’s umbrella, I had not seen for ten years.
He is the chewing-est dog we have ever had.
And we have adopted nineteen dogs.
If he ever decides to chew up the furniture
We might have to think of obedience school.
We have chew marks on our TV remotes.
He demolished an Amazon gift card box.
Need I go on? We love the big lug.
We call him the big galoot; and we are glad he was dumped here.
Narratives or at least that's what I call them
Without doubt win hands down every time
I've deviated with limericks and couplets and stuff
But I'm back to the old poems that rhyme
Very similar to when we go away on vacation
It feels so good to finally get back home
Everytime we deviat from our regular patterns
Though we enjoy it a bunch when we roam
Guess it's familiarity that we're always craving
Friendly faces of the people we know
No hidden agendas, no scams to contend with
Just the same old routine, same old show
Comfortable is a very good word to describe it
That down home feeling when with friends
Like always being in style with jeans and Adidas
Instead of trying to keep up with the trends
Give me that plain old simple way of living
It surely wins hands down ever time
That's how I roll, I'm just a simple old hayseed
Sitting around chewing the fat is just fine
Mom warned me with one of her signs
Chew my bananas at least thirty-two times
Never explained why
Digestion so I complied
An old-time remedy to ring my chimes
Chewing my bubble gum, here’s my story. When I was two I learned to chew. Nearly choked because I was woked. When I saw clay it reminded me of watching my first horse eating hay. When I was five I seen a beehive. I was in first grade and haven’t grown any hair yet for me to shave. I did like going inside caves. When I was twelve I had plenty of book shelves. I loved to read and picked off pumpkin seeds. I reached puberty and took a school test weekly. When I was eighteen I loved the attention to be seen. I loved to write before I flew my kite. Momma always told me to strive for my dreams so that’s what I did it seems. When I was twenty I wrote my first poem, didn’t have any experience but loved the deliverance. When I asked God what was my calling; he answered and said it was poetry and finding my darling.
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