I am a bonafide certified mommy-fied leader of a dog pack.
They currently sit at my feet waiting to see what we will do next.
Beau our newbie is the only renegade who keeps running from the pack.
He has never had the run of six acres before, and he loves it.
Sophie, our old lady cocker is sedate and stoic…
unless another member gets too close, then she gives a guttural
warning growl.
She is proud to be the matriarch.
Buddy at one hundred and sixteen pounds could take all of us.
But he is a gentle giant, going with the flow, letting the new baby manhandle him.
Beau at five months, attacks his big bro and often
Play biting his leg and his undercarriage.
They run from couch to couch, moving furniture as they go.
I am super proud to be a bonafide certified mommy-fied leader of a dog pack.
With one smoking gun,
I make a good living.
I'm a Squire for hire,
And I'm unforgiving.
I'm real blue steel,
Like a midnight thriller.
I'm primetime crime,
And a certified killer.
With fire and desire,
I'm the best in town.
The Devil on the level,
And I'll put you down.
High priced and enticed,
To get the job done.
No shame in the game,
And I do it for fun.
With eyes on the prize,
And finger on the trigger.
The blush from the rush,
And nothing is bigger.
To endeavor forever,
I never want to stop.
Money is the honey,
And the cherry on top.
Naomi has seen this sight many times before
She knows Mrs. Bee will be gone in two days
If not before
She makes her as comfortable as she can
The doctor comes in; he takes the lady’s hand
Attempts to speak with her
Naomi busies herself cleaning up the room
What do you think? The doctor asks the nurse
Her name is Paula, she is not empathic.
No idea says Paula. It could be two months or two minutes.
Paula spends much of her day playing video games.
Not paying any attention to her patients.
As a certified nursing assistant, Naomi is invisible.
No one asks her thoughts
Or realizes she is there
I am sorry, honey, she says.
I think you will be gone before your relatives get here.
Should we call the relatives? Paula asks.
No idea about the time line, he replies.
Naomi, the certified nursing assistant is correct.
The woman is gone before morning.
I once knew an electrician who was terrified
While he was crossing wires he would be completely fried
Turns out he was safe as could be
A little research proved to me
The electrician was properly electrified.
written June 17, 2021
That truth cannot be absolute
I do reject and will refute.
If we declare that it is not
Can that be certified as true?
Therefore, truth absolute must be.
Can anything false never be?
Contest name: Bite Size Poem no6 Poetry Contest
I’M A CERTIFIED MEMBER
I’m a certified member
of the “we never
guess
we look
it up”
club.
Yes,
as a student
I
had a lesson
I
wonder if anyone else
coveted
this piece of paper,
these words,
the way I did.
It stuck
in my brain
indelibly glued,
so
words are inclined
to be looked up
and understood
before
they
fall
upon your ears.
Do
you
remember
a catch phrase
from
school?
Share it
in
comments.
It
must be
a positive
phrase
from your classroom
days.
Pilot
your former
classroom…
full speed ahead!
6/20/2019
I'm dead. Unlike Frost and Yeats
nothing I've said will be remembered.
Unlike Roosevelt and Lincoln
nothing I'm thinking will win the war.
I'm going to go to my grave unsung
like almost everyone. These mountains
are my grave. A good grave
to go to. There's no such thing
as being saved. When you're gone
you're done. At least 60 million
people don't believe it, don't believe
in evolution. Man, that ape,
can heap a peck of hurt posthaste
with earth movers and machine guns.
Information technology
cannot save your soul, heck,
I've tried. Every morning
I total the polloi
coming to my site for wisdom.
The number's usually zero.
A good number to know.
When my heart fibrillates
I lay my head
against my sleeping wife.
Solace, comfort. She says,
Take your pill, fool.
In an hour at most
I'm feeling great again!
Are you? He asked.
What? She replied.
Six Sigma Certified? He asked.
Why, no. She replied.
Are you? She asked.
Yes, definitely! He replied.
Should I be? She asked.
Yes! - He replied - You should be!
Why should I be? She asked.
Well, - He replied -
Utterly frustrated with her question -
How can we possibly talk to each other
If you are not certifiable?
Attention, all you men and ladies:
Hurry - here’s your chance
To get your very own Mercedes;
See how it enchants!
Take a look – it’s sleek, not bruised;
Its body we have honed.
Who told you that this car was used?
It’s certified pre-owned!
Of course those terms are not the same!
They’re mutually exclusive.
Being “used” connotes some shame,
While “pre-owned” is elusive.
I guess it means it was possessed
By someone very rich
Who, though he really liked it best,
Was forced to make a switch.
So here it is, for you to buy.
You’ll join the true elite;
And that is why the price is high –
Our salesmen are discreet.
You’ll feel so special when you drive
This car that’s almost new.
The envious will all contrive
To be as cool as you!
Ilene Bauer (http://primetimerhyme.blogspot.com)
I think that someone should invent
(And I would be quite glad)
A painless little questionnaire
To check that your not mad
.
A simple twenty questions
Is all that it would take
To say you’re fairly normal
Or a crazy old fruitcake
.
If all the people filled one in
The results could be collated
We could have a central register
And get certificated
© John W Fenn 15-02-2009
I told him I was crazy
But he never listened to me.
Then he realized I had problems
When I went upside his car with my keys.
I told him I was crazy
But maybe he didn't believe me.
Now he knows I'm a certified Psycho
And he wants nothing to do with me!!!!!