Sailing solo is unsafe
and it's not much fun
one winds up talking to oneself
before the day is done
but a bad day on the water
or so someone said
beats a good day at the office
(and I would know)
snug in my bunk bed
so gentlemen here's a tip for you
as all good sailors do
(when they want to wee believe you me)
remain seated throughout the performance
when you go to the head (loo) or WC
Joji Varghese Kuncheria
My Cutie Pie
My granddaughter is a cutie pie,
Who goes all around the house,
Turning everything upside down,
And keeping us all on our toes.
I do not have half of her energy,
That is displayed the whole day,
The house is silent as she sleeps,
And a time for all to rest a while.
It is breathtaking to watch her
Doing the acrobatics she knows,
Sliding, jumping and climbing up,
Like a monkey on the bunk bed.
No rest whatsoever she takes,
Does things one after the other,
Innocent as she is, trying to do
The impossible, all to by herself.
My days would have been boring,
Were I not to be in her company,
A blessing she's from high above,
And a joy to watch always she is.
*******
I visited an empty house today
I found elephants with mirrors on its hide
And a dromedary with fluffy yarn
That raggedy Anne wore for hair
I asked if I could have the records
She had given me one year when I had
Turned six years old and had a bunk bed
And an electric ionizer next to
A terrarium with a newt that
I cared about but did not understand
Why her life was as important as mine.
"Goodnight my dear", Mother said
As I lied on the old bunk bed
"Don't close the door"
I used to say, as she would turn, to walk away
Once again she said "Good night"
And with one stroke, shut off the light
Night is what I’ve come to dread
So I'd slipped the covers, o'er my head
My brother, used to sleep with me
The upper bunk, is where he’d be
The mattress sagged, the bed would squeak
He’d toss and turn, then fall asleep
But now he’s gone, they say he died
I do not know the reason why
Still late at night, the bed will squeak
When the mattress sags, I dare not sleep
Absolutely No Way
Affair that they has started out so splendid
Continued along as was originally intended
Until one day she happened to discover
He likely had been hiding another lover.
She was pretty like a purring little kitten
And made no sense for him to be admitting
That two lovers in his life ever existed
So allowed each affair to occur and persisted.
The in a morning newspaper edition I read
Off all of his clothes he shed in a bunk bed
How much lower could anyone have sunk
Fell from bed and hit is head on a trunk.
Now whole puzzle I was starting to connect
When he fell ended up breaking his neck
Last thing heard him say on his dying day
Make love on top bunk absolutely no way.
Gootle writes an ad
"All Americans bunk bed
But neither is dead"
A Ghost Story
"Goodnight my dear", Mother said
As I lied upon the old bunk bed
"Don't close the door"
I used to say, as she would turn to walk away
Once again she'd say "Good night"
And with one stroke, shut out the light
Night is what I’ve come to dread
So I'd slipped the covers, o'er my head
My brother, used to sleep with me
The upper bunk, is where he’d be
His mattress sagged, the bed would squeak
He’d toss and turn, then fall asleep
But now he’s gone, they say he died
They would not say the reason why
Still late at night, the bed will squeak
When the mattress sags, I dare not sleep
Summer nights in Centerville, sleeping on the top bunk bed;
A transistor radio playing low, lying right there near my head.
The Big Red Machine was in their prime; those boys could sure play ball;
I fell asleep every night listening to the play-by-play of Joe Nuxhall.
I entered my life of puberty with Charlie Hustle running to first;
Davey Concepcion turning two and Joe Morgan with a speedy burst.
Johnny Bench throwing out would be stealers, Pedro Borbon with a bending curve;
All happening on the summer of my first kiss – once I finally worked up the nerve.
With Tommy sleeping in the bed below – nary a care in the world,
George Foster launched an enormous shot while I tried to figure out the girls.
Jack Billingham was striking them out – an apt metaphor for my chances,
As I fantasized about dating girls while two bases Ken Griffey advances.
Tony Perez was still strapping them on; Don Gullet piled up some wins;
Cesar Geronimo owned center field while my hormones multiplied within.
Coming of age in Centerville, back in nineteen seventy-four,
Meant listening to the Cincinnati Reds while thinking about the girl next door.
Neophyte
What can I say the pot plants in the yard are fed tiny rain drops
saintly tears of a girl rejected by the abbess to join the order
because she detect a wild sensual abandonment behind eyes that,
at first glance, are mirrors of chastity.
The abbess knows the young girl is not seeking god rather she seeks
shelter from the raving craving of her body, the relentless dreams
so alive she feels the weight of her fantasy lover´s alabaster body,
a young priest at the local church.
Sacrifices, in god´s name is always demanded by religious orders,
and mother superior has a quota to fill, but she is not looking for
troubles She needs compliant novices, Indian girls from the slum
who will forever thank god for escaping Calcutta´s poverty. They
will be slaves of Jesus and married to him, clean his underwear
endure ignominy for three square meals and a bunk bed to sleep in.
It’s… kind of small
One bunk bed that’s all
Oh! A toilet and a basin
A squeeze for me and Jason
Who would have thought we’d end up here?
It’s dirty and smells of fart and beer
When I see the host I will complain
This is ridiculous, it’s utterly insane
It’s my first time here, with a stranger
How could they do this, placing my life in danger
They call this a holiday? Huh!
I’ve been in better by far
The walls are a peeled, tobacco yellow,
I suppose in a crude way it could be cosy and mellow
Seems like they take pride in their security
Well in this neighbourhood it must be a surety
Jason lies there in his bed
Drooling and moaning, holding his head
Uh! Here comes the host, maybe we can change all this
“Hello Mr. Hall you’ve been arrested for drink driving while being pissed.”
What? so this is not a hotel?
Use caution when walking behind elephants son
You don't want to step into a big pile of dung
Take care in passing the pepper to dragons my girl
Just one sneeze and fire will blow you into a whirl
Be ever so polite when riding the unicorn
If rude he may flip you into the horn
Say grace with eyes closed in the eagle's lair
Otherwise she may drop you from up in the air
Never steal home from the brontosaurus team
One swipe with their tail and you've been beamed
Let penguins win the ice hockey game
Losing drives them into flights of insane
Give your entire sandwich to the grizzly bear
Or you may end up on the menu my dears
When sharing your bunk bed with a whale
You take the top or well, well, whale