They gathered for adventure this summer
Till he damaged his father’s new Hummer
The dents turned his face crimson
Said he’s sorry and then some
Closed the book; peace was lost- what a bummer!
I think it would be really dumb
To try and look right up my bum
I'm sure you would find
The sun's never shined
However you might see a crumb.
On holiday whilst in South Zante
My uncle is caught ‘in flagrante’
Found in the jacuzzi
With fat floozie Susie
He’s no chance of coitus with aunty!
Aunt Bertha's quite livid with Mel
She kicked him out of their hotel
The lowlife, the fool
Now sleeps by the pool
Aunt certainly made his life hell!
There lived a kind lady named Summer,
Her faithful spouse, he was a plumber
When her pipes became clogged,
To her rescue, he jogged
But forgot to kiss her, a bummer!
The musical was near ready to start
When someone let off a rip roaring fart
The smell was horrific
All had a sniff of it
‘Twas a bummer of an ass drummer’s fine art.
The show opened with a trumpet fanfare
As the audience were gasping for air
The one that had farted
Had finished what started
Loose poop ran everywhere from the goofs chair.
It was certainly a roof raising poop
Putrid poop much too watery to scoop
A runny stream of yuck
Those sent to mop upchuck
So uncouth for the enterprising troop.
The show stopped when cleaners needed a drink
They had to quit work because of the stink
Pooper was shown the door
But he farted once more
And the audience had tears on the blink.
So then the music commenced and played on
But the spell was broken, magic was gone
One by one people left
With hearts sadly bereft
Gone with gust of a flatulent gas bomb.
There was a young man from Nantucket,
Whose logic for life was to duck it.
Scoffed “ignorance is bliss”
Till the fates took a piss,
Now life’s gone to hell in a bucket.
February 6, 2023
am from long beach
loves to teach
loves the summer
loves to run and hot sun
am
a
BEACH BUMMER
Please Nurse, can you come,
I have a pimple on my bum.
It hurts makes me cry,
Do you think that I might die?
Nurse, hurry, please run.
ITS ALMOST OVER
it was summer clove
we had fun
was a beach run
we was friends
some ball we teach
in all by ocean fall
we were
BEACH BUMMER
Nurse, can you come
I have a huge pimple on my bum
It hurts me and it makes me cry
Do you think that I might die?
Nurse, please hurry, run
I
Moon is a Necco
Wafer, Sugar Babies, we
‘Neath the Milky Way.
II
Yorks, the Musketeers!
The Swedish Fish froth away
From the Whopper Balls.
III
The dark side of Mars,
The Salt Kiss on the Heath,
No mint’s on the bed.
when its hot
i sweat a lot
i go to a ocean pool
thats where its cool
spend my summer
am a
BEACH BUMMER
Big Bummer Selling Hummer
Easy living likes the summer;
All the rest is a big bummer;
Cause was lost,
With no cost;
Even had to sell our hummer.
Jim Horn
Haven't felt warm since the end of the summer
Usually don't have a problem but this is a bummer
Where is that spring
Warm sunshine it brings
Only four more months and I'll be a happy drummer
A baboon at the zoo cleverly
made gestures to me like a friend,
then turned right around, displaying to me
his giant red ugly rear end!
Aug. 23, 2017 for the Animal Nonsense Poetry Contest
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