Bologna Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member My Dogs Know Several Phrases

my dogs know several phrases
nothing like sit, beg, stay

they know night-night
it has them running to the bed
If they both jump up, the mattress slides off
because that is two hundred and fifty pounds of dogs
I have to figure out a way to contort my body around them

they know outside
it means they run to the front door
which now I can barely open, because they are both in front of it

they know snack
it means they turn and look at Daddy, expecting cheese or bologna
No one spoils them more than Daddy

Never Give Up - Poor Man’s Steak

Together, my parents faced two world wars, the great depression, floods, fires, and some things that would bring most people to their knees. Imagine just where I would be if they had just decided that things were too rough and chucked in the towel. At the time, I didn’t think they had a lot to give. But looking back, I’m amazed at how much I got.

steak’s what I wanted 
bologna is what I got—
never went hungry

Premium Member Late night family time

Everyone's hungry 
fried bologna sandwiches 
warmed chili soup


Premium Member I Could Eat Turkey All Day

Thanksgiving
a day to fill our tummies with turkey
I love turkey more than most
I could eat turkey every day
with mashed potatoes and corn
warmed up sweet rolls and cranberry sauce
I love a real turkey
not that thin-sliced white bologna crap from a deli
that resembles turkey as much as I resemble Janet Jackson

Voice Mail Greeting

There once was a girl named Mona
Who screened all her calls on her phone-a

She said, "At the tone
Make yourself known"

Or she'll think that you're full of bologna!

Things To Think About Later

Roast beef on Rye. Pastrami on toast, a Rubin -
I only have thinly sliced bologna. Not hungry anyway.

Beyond a window, a dog is on my lawn, my mind shouts,
surprisingly the dog seems to hear me.
I have powers.

A record player drops into my mind
the vinyl is spinning, the needle is tracing,
silence roars on. I sing along.

I find an old British sixpenny-bit in Ohio
amazing how we all take teleportation for granted now.

A door knob rattles,
my ears get hairy,
am I being paranoid or is this nervous state
the result of living alone in my head for too long?

This afternoon I will still be here
watching my show.
You star you. I always did like your eyes
they shine like flying saucers.

Note. Make the bed before I sleep
I wrecked it last night.

If I remember, I will consider forgetting all of this.


Premium Member Kindergarten Teacher

Kindergarten Teacher

  Kind when she shares her bologna sandwich.
 
  Imaginative when she has to use Q-tips to teach.
  
  Nurturing to teeter totter injuries.
  
  Daring when rescuing an mystery object from the toilet.
  
  Earnest when explaining this adventure to her principal.
  
  Responsible for helping 23 children put on 23 coats and getting all 23 
  to the bus on time.
 
  Gentle when covering boo-boos with impossible to open bandaids.
  
  Aimiable when greeting parents.
  
  Resourceful when finding uses for 75 popsicle sticks.
 
   Tactful when explaining Timothy's new permanent marker freckles to 
   his mother.
  
   Energetic when chasing a dog off the playground.
  
   Nose blowing expert.
  
 

  Talented when using a pipe cleaner to replace a lost shoe lace.
  
  Elated with a new set of blocks.
  
  Afraid of itchy heads.
  
  Capable of jumping rope in heels on the playground. 
  
  High spirited when there is a snow day.
  
  Excited about caterpillars.
   
  Ready for nap time!

Consumed

Consumed

I remember in poverty,
eating ramen noodles,
daily.

Beans and Weenies.
Meatless sauce
spaghetti.

Rice, Rice, Rice,
without any real
spice.

Bologna Sandwiches.
Hamburger Helper
mixes.

Fried Spam,
and all kinds of meat,
canned.

Hot Dogs on a stick,
burnt to a
crisp.

Catfish from the creek,
yellow belly
meat.

Milwaukee’s Best.
Another broken
promise.

The cheapest smokes.
Always gotta have
those.

Colon cancer, Rectal cancer,
lungs and
brain.

A hole too deep,
at least six
feet.

Same old hole,
no matter where you
grow.

A Child of the '60s

I remember the green grass, leaves of the trees turning brown.
Walking down the stream not caring that gold lay at the bottom.
Fishing at the dam a stick a string and a hook loaded with bologna.
Laying Pennies on the railroad track, waiting for the train.
Walking through the junkyard enthralled by all the mangled metal.
Playing football in a field of mud after the heavy rains.
First time I had french fries, hot and salty from the golden arches.
Watching cartoons from the playground at the drive-in theater.
Free from the worries, free from the traps
of greed.
All I have left, is the grass turning green, and the leaves turning brown.

Self Serving Destructive Sociopath

a sociopath
selfserving and destructive
egotistical

God gargantuan
favorite of mine has been
at end say Amen

snow fell on shoulder
could cause him to be colder
when he was older

reminds me of them
handsome looking very trim
happy never grim

Brown Girl Dreaming
Jacqueline Woodson,
Poet

Brown Girl Dreaming Jacqueline Woodson, Poet - Search (bing.com)

heard testimony
have to pay alimony
bunch of bologna

Premium Member Daddys Toy

Hey, Daddy, I want to take a walk.
Daddy does not listen or look at me.
He is poking buttons on his light up toy.
Bing. Bee Bing Bee Bing Bee Bing Bee Bing.

Hey, Daddy, I am almost out of food.
How about a ham or bologna treat?
Daddy is congratulating himself on a win.
His thumbs are working harder now.

The light up toy is making happy sounds.
Bing. Bee. Bing. Bee. Bing Bee Bing Bee Bing.
Tonight, I will be locating and tearing up
This toy, I refer to as His Light Up Thing.

Breaking Up With Debbie

She has the ‘screws’.
Her hips are 'creaky'
her leg is 'playing up.’

I yell into her good ear.
"Nice Morning Freda!"

"Gout." She says,
still following a conversation in her head.
"I don't even drink!"
I know this is a stretch
for I am her secret `pusher'.

"I'm going out later, can I get you anything?"

She looks directly at me at last.
She has been studying the obituaries
in the local paper.

"Isn't it terrible?"
"Yes Freda it is."
We never discuss specifics,
agreeing tacitly
that most things are `terrible.’

"Just the usual"

I make a note to buy,
sliced white bread.
Laughing Cow cheese spreads (original flavor).
Bologna sausage (which she calls Baloney).
"Little Debbie" Frosted Fudge cakes
and a bottle of sweet sherry.

Her list of wants is not far from mine,
except for the sherry,
I like to think my list is a little more refined,
and I have long since broke-up
with 'Little Debbie'.

Bologna From Ponies

For Christmas, I wanted a pony,
But all I got was some bologna.

Premium Member Copy Cat Marge

Marge had a new bouffant hairdo and Jen liked it 
So she ran out and had hers done up the same way
On Marge it looked elegant, timelessly classy.
On Jen not so much.
Most of us tried to ignore it. 

I wore a lettuce leaf mask to church last Sunday.
It was not a favorite, but it was dry.
Jen demanded to know where I had bought it.
She paid twenty dollars extra to have it delivered on Monday. 
The cost of the mask was only seven dollars. 


Sal attended our next lunch wearing a piece of bologna on her hat.
We oohed and ahhed telling her how inventive it was.
Jen wore bologna on her hat for the next five years, trying for the same result.
I wish this was an exaggeration
I actually toned the truth down a bit so it would be more plausible.

Premium Member Couldn'T Think of Gardenia

A sweet young lassie from Estonia
Was besought by a boy from Bologna
Taking her to a dance,
He wore his best pants
And gave her a corsage of begonia.

written September 1, 2021

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