Humorous Body Poems

I Guess I'll Be Me

Before,
When I was afraid to be me,
I looked at others
And tried to be a copy
Mimic all their motions
Repeat the same moves
Maybe...

Read More

"My words may be fact or fiction, only the reader can decide!"
Quote by Poet


Uplifting

Unless you have been very well blessed 
Perfect pert breasts often sag...

Read More

Limericks IX



Scratch-n-Sniff
by Michael R. Burch

The world’s first antinatalist limerick?

Life comes with a terrible catch:
It’s like starting a fire with a match.
Though the flames may delight
In...

Read More

Argh, I ne'er got muffin top before - why now!?

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in...

Read More

No one can deny your young body;
Would you consider this old noddy?
	Let‘s explore all angles,
	Even bit that dangles.
You’re headier than a hot toddy!
...

Read More

Burger King’s and KFC’s
Large kebabs topped off with cheese
Too many beers slip down with ease
A Double Whopper, no salad please

Pile on the pounds, put on...

Read More

Soon it will be a cold winter's day, 
hot chocolate is great for any holiday. 
I want to go out and play, 
let's go riding...

Read More

HEALTHY SENIOR

My mother used to feed me to grow up big and strong
Cauliflower and broccoli, some foods that taste so wrong
How could anyone believe that...

Read More

I was in the hospital at only five, 
the medicine gave me a big hive. 
Sunday school taught us to be alive, 
my spirit soared...

Read More

My turds float like choc’late marshamallows
Just lurking about in the shallows
I guess that my butt
Is truly kaput
So doctor suggests bitter aloes

I questioned such treatment regime
Doc...

Read More

Inspired by "All a man really wants, is a girl who looks good in a bikini." - Jack Freestone

A burlesque performer named Gieter
Decided her act...

Read More

Away at the drug store
no condoms I see 
I need some protection
to stop pregnancy

My girlfriend’s so horny
wants sex night and day
I’d never refuse her
a roll...

Read More

Cheeks were meant for kissing
Hands were meant for holding
Ears were meant for listening
Arms were meant for enfolding

Eyes were meant for ogling
Mouths were meant for stuffing
Hair...

Read More

This is a story about Barry Hunt
Who tried to pull off a remarkable stunt
He tried a bungee-jump without using a rope
He then fell to the...

Read More

All this skin holds my body 
working or as a homebody 
what a miracle it is 
do not give me a quiz 
now I need...

Read More