Best Weirdos Poems
(Sing to tune of Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow)
Oh, the weather outside is crappy,
and they say I should be happy,
But to all this snow I say,
"Go away, go away, go away."
Some weirdos think snow is "gnarly,"
But roads are slick and snarly,
And MORE snow's on the way,
"Go away, go away, go away."
When I woke up at 6 a.m.,
fast to my window I ran.
But the earth was a blinding white.
My car wouldn't start. What a fright!
When finally I got started,
and to the roads I darted,
I was sliding as I prayed,
"Go away, go away, go away."
Beware of weirdos lurking the internet
Let them in your life at your own risk
It’s the playground of psychopaths
Wolves in sheep’s clothing
And social outcasts
Heed my words
Beware
AP: 3rd place 2020
God lets us see life from every angle. Anklebiters that we are. Fist fighters, black-eyed contenders, snivelers. The boss looks down, looks into our eyes, looks at our feet, looks underneath. We don’t see the cobwebs between our fingers and toes, in our mouth and ears. Our hairdos make us look like weirdos, piled fry-high, like the bride of Frankenstein. Our hearts shoved into the easy-bake of childhood. Black-spider shades grip our nose and tether behind our ears, holding onto dendrites. White teeth flash their watermelon pits, black and blue. God lets us see from every angle. The dark spots hinder perfect sight, the dark holes below lower lashes, thinning lips, fattening thighs, exercising our rights, but mostly wrongs. I hear the gong...not many do. Do we belong to the world or to our God? Is this yet Babylon. Our speech once babbled, have we forgotten? Why do you think we don’t all speak the same language? Scientists prove there’s been a worldwide flood. Jesus walked the earth and the sun. Now you see the one world coming together. Remember what happened last time the world did this — were we not scattered? Scientists say there was a continental divide — this once united mass. Indeed we are anklebiters, curtain climbers, toddlers. God lets us find our own stray. Can we find our own way?
1/6/2021
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:10 KJV
One thing I have learned in adulthood
Is that were all a little strange
each of us, a bit misunderstood
The severity has it's range
Once you become a socialite
People expose their inner truth
You witness them at twilight
Or perhaps their lack of cooth
We encompass unique impurities
Living in the shadow of what we market
We clothe our insecurities
Or our faults become target
Behind every beautiful face
There lives a weeping soul
We keep it in its place
While spiraling out of control
Ever notice how most people seem normal ?
That is, the first time you meet
Dressed in their best and formal
Their head down to their feet
With time, the normalcy fades
Their inner weirdo rings
It shocks you like a hand of spades
When the fat lady sings
It must be said right now that being strange or weird is not a crime. Only an actual crime is the crime., and just as race, gender, religion, orientation, or nationality should not be discriminated against, pretty much neither should there be unwarranted prejudice against one with a different personality.
Here's to the weirdos; here's to the wild;
Here's to the loners, the whimsical, the mild;
Here's to risking taboo land mines;
Here's to the principled, in troubled times.
Here Goes Gun Control Again
They have a Record that is Congressional
That was turned into a true confessional
Which to some weirdos has become to be
On occasion, even read by you and me.
Have heard said they are taking a poll
Subject concerned with was gun control
Things to do so problem can prevent
Being consistant in what they all maeant.
Of course, for each issue is another side
Citizens with laws by they should abide
It has become a debate like a foray
Don't take guns to town or mine away.
Naturally, probably will have to predict
They will end up having to declare an edict
And into an Executive Order did become
Designed to show where he is coming from.
From lovely looks on their each fine face
Could tell their position was firmly in place
I am having a gun no matter what you say
To be in my presence both night and day.
And, of course, we were starting to detect
Resistance to body and background check
Ain't never had criminal record of my own
So why don't you just leave me alone?
Either you like guns thinking they are great
And to have at least one can hardly wait
There are others who think guns are a pain
Especially in hands of the mentally insane.
President stood up and was being bold
Smart guns are new thing have been told
In form of necklace or worn around wrist
Used in other ways that have a long list.
My heavy heart and pulse have a palpitation
Every time I start to of how this nation
Has gone wild and crazy about gun availability
In our country once full of truth and tranquility.
Agreements in middle are where they met
Not minds firmly fixed in place and all set
As usual, in America is where we have been
Where to anything no one is willing to give in.
You talk about being fixed and locked into place.
You ain't seen nothing yet until you come to
Oh, America my America.
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
To the freaks and the goners
I say we raise a glass
To the lonelies and the loners
The weirdos and outcasts
To us freaks, the ones who still stand,
The ones who no matter what,
Never say "I can't"
To the ones who sit alone at lunch, the ones with no friends
The ones who never give up
Who know it's not the end
To the cast downs and broken hearted,
The beaten and the bruised
The ones who think they're ugly,
And will never know the truth
The ones witch aching chests
The ones who know it's okay to cry
The ones who stand alone
And believe all the lies
The warmest and most welcoming of arms
The comfort and peace of mind as you lay down
Everything's ok now.
We've reached the depths of insanity
Your mind’s betrayed you,
The brain is in turmoil.
Blood boiling, emotions spewing
Heart darkened a shade of black
Darker than the coldest night
Perhaps it was just a mistake?
This isn’t your home
You don’t want to be here
But for some reason…
You are
What happened?
What took you so far?
Where did you forget how to swim?
In the river of denial.
It was them
The one’s who don’t understand
The one’s who say everything you did was a mistake
The one’s who say you’re nothing
Well now they've won
Are you happy now?
Did bringing the ones just like you down so far
Make you feel any better?
Did they really mean nothing?
You forget to understand
We’re people too.
Maybe we have people we love
Maybe we have people who depend on us
Maybe we WANT to be happy for once!
Maybe instead of only caring about yourself,
You consider us too.
The freaks
The weirdos
The clowns
The gays.
We’re all people too.
But you, the very people we looked up to
And wanted to be one day
The people who could smile and laugh
The people who didn't have a care in the world.
You're the ones who brought us down.
You're the ones who thought we weren't worthy
So please, by all means.
Keep going
Develop your “perfect little world”
Without us, it won’t work.
We’re part of this planet to.
We’re people too.
So all of you idiots who say
“Go kill yourself”
or
“No one loves you”
Please, keep going.
Its not like we don’t know these things
We’re the outcast.
But we’re the most important.
Somewhere along the line, we messed up.
Learning experience as they call it.
We can make sure you don’t fall
Because don’t think you won’t make a mistake too.
But no, you push us away.
So when you start drowning,
When you fall.
Don’t expect us to be there
You never were for us.
With love, a weird, bisexual, class clown
You crack the shell and start to peel;
It may slide off completely.
If not, too bad, but here's the deal:
The rest won't come off neatly.
But when it's clean, it needs a rinse
In case some shell is clinging
And next comes salt, which will evince
The flavor it is bringing.
Some slice it up and others bite
While weirdos pop it whole.
Whichever way, it will delight
Despite cholesterol.
So boil one if you're in the mood,
Though we should thank the hen
For bringing us this simple food
To eat now and again.
12)Coddle- Two fish enrapt in love.
13)Mustard- A diarrhea victim who can wait no longer.
14)Jam Session- A gathering of sweet-toothed weirdos with various jams and
jellies.
15)Coffee Table- An occasional table made of stale and hard coffee beans.
16)Condom- A very stupid prisoner.
17)Confederate- An inmate who nourishes his cellmate with food he sneaks
from the mess hall.
18)Condiment- A mint left on the pillow of Condolezza Rice's hotel room bed.
19)Metaphor- The reason you met her.
20)Meteor Shower- Cleaning meteors in your shower.
21)Osmosis- A female relative of the Osmond Brothers.
22)Gradute- A successfully educated studend ingested by a cannibal.
23)Grab Bag- A purse snatcher's job.
24)Wind Instrument- A guitar lifted and tossed in a hurricane.
25)Destitute- A broke prostitute.
26)Easygoing- Being tied in a wheelchair and pushed down the steepest street
in San Francisco.
27)Castrated- Judging who belongs in what pecking order in the movie cast.
28)Animosity- Dislike of mice.
29)Barn Dance- A group of barns dancing in a hurricane.
30)Carpeting- Gently stroking an automobile you love.
31)Chirk- A Cherokee idiot.
32)Coddle- Embracing your fish prior to frying.
33)Extraterrestials- Coming from another planet, or from Camden, New Jersey.
34)Hail Mary- A religious woman bombarded in a hail storm.
35)Hair Dresser- The absurd practice of putting dresses on one's head.
36)Homely- When poor ugly Lee is home.
37)Antacid- A psychological hallucinogenic drug favoered by hippy garden
insects.
38)Moron- An overdressed person of limited intelligence with far too much
cologne on.
39)Precession- The last days leading up to an economic downturn.
40)Martial Arts- Paintings done by Western town Sheriffs.
41)Spouse- A married rodent.
42)Consort- Dividing criminals by crime categories.
43)Debaunchery- When de bunch of us Brooklyn guys goes out on de town.
44)Drag Queen- When us guys from Brooklyn beat up and haul around
somebuddy from Queens.
45)Dragoon- Da dumb guy from Queens dat we got above.
Christmas is
The time of year
For bringing joy
For bringing cheer
All the hustle
All the bustle
Turns shopping trips
Into a tussle
All the crazies
All the weirdos
All the ripoffs
All the ladies.
If you buy this,
We'll throw in the hat
If you buy this,
We'll throw in that.
But what most people
Tend to forget
Is that this isn't
What it's all about.
2,000 years back
He came to be
2,000 years back
He came to me
So we could live
Eternally
She's constantly a dreamer,
Fantasy is where she lives,
Reality is non existant to her,
If only she could see.
She only cares about superficial things,
Popularity is her sport,
Boyfriends are the cheerleaders,
If only she could see.
Her mind is put to waste,
A head as empty as a flower pot,
Education is lost on her,
If only she could see.
She makes fun of the "weirdos",
She cannot stand the "geeks",
But those "geeks" are worth knowing,
If only she could see.
The world is 3-D,
It has depth underneath,
There is beauty under the surface,
If only she could see.
Beauty is not just skin deep,
It runss all the way through,
It's not just looks that matter,
It's how you think and see.
Some of us are freaks
Some of us are less so
Some of us are geeks
With names like Fark or Bezlo.
Some have winning streaks
Lots of us are losers
Some of us have beaks
Three of us are Hoosiers.
Some of us are kooks
And misfit aberrations
The lucky ones are flukes
Beloved in our nations.
Supposing we are rich
We get to be "eccentrics"
But poor, without a stitch,
We're cranks and lunatics.
Some of us are weirdos
We're oddballs and we're qu**r
We perform our concertos
And then we're out of here.
"Freaks is from my collection
DAISY ZOO AND OTHER PUNK-ASS NONSENSE
(Duck's-foot Tree Productions, 2016) limited to 100 copies,
20 signed deluxe with variant cover and color title page.
I’ve watched enough Star Trek
To know that you weirdos
Need to take me to your leader
Captain Kirk would not negotiate
With such rumbustious riff raff
You’re trying my patience
I’ll continue to be polite with you
But don’t push your luck
Now take me to your leader
And get those silly water pistols
Out of my face
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on July 28, 2018 for contest TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER sponsored by CAREN KRUTSINGER - RANKED 4TH